How to approach my other half

[MrMr123]

I recently had a few suspicions that my DP was sending messages to some other fella. I thought this because every time I walked into a room & if she was on the phone, she could not get off quick enough.

It happened again yesterday, so I looked In her inbox (something I have never done before) to my surprise, there was 3 messages from her to a girl, but at the end of one of them it was a fella's name. Each message ended with xxx, there is nothing on there suggesting they meet, however one says, she will be here for you xxx...

I saved the number & rang it this morning & indeed it was a fella.....

Please help & advise the best way to approach this...

Oh what a truly awful nightmare for you. It won't feel this bad forever though.

And there's no way that not saying something could have changed anything (well maybe the timing of it all, but that doesn't help you). This was clearly already in her head.

Look after yourself. Have you got some friends/family you can talk to?

Now she's made you feel awful she may just sit and wait for it to blow over. Or she might have been waiting for an excuse to end the relationship.

I've been putting up with this shit since 2009. It's changed me, given him all the control because I haven't been brave or strong enough mentally for the showdowns. I don't want to project my situation on to yours but they are strikingly similar - even down to the distance. I have finally set the wheels in motion for separation.

If you want to, feel she will be completely transparent and earn your trust back, you can get over this I'm sure. Relationships are complicated things. Equally, if your instincts are constantly twitching uncomfortably, be extremely careful.

Thank you all so much for your help in this matter, I'm going to sign off now & see what happens.

I've taken onboard all your comments & I will be staying positive.. If my DP wants to split & that's in her mind, then there is nothing I can do but take it on the chin & move on... I have to day though, if she can find someone that cooks, cleans, irons, brings her tea in bed at 5 am in the morning when she's on an early, takes her to work, does the shopping, took on her 2 children & pays for everything.. Then good luck to her... Lol, at least I can smile..

Again thank you all so much, your words really have helped.

Regards, MrMr123

Apologies for my spelling...

Lol, good on you for finding the humour!

And if she DOES choose, to end it then more fool her. As you say hold your head high and move on.

All the best.