Serious: Post Natal Depression: Support for dh

[shhhh]

I want some men out there to help and advise dh if possible.

I'm a sufferer of pnd and have done for around 15 months since we had dd. Things are hard for him (I know, I'm not oblivious to how I am at times...) We don't know anyone in rl who is suffering from pnd and I am getting help. Thing is that this is now causing problems in our relationship. DH see's me as being unreasonable BUT I don't see it that way and until I am coping with the pnd I don't know whether this is me in general or if it's the pnd side of me.

How do guys out there cope with their dw/dp who are pnd suffers..? Has it made or broke you..? Whats your coping stratergy and can anyone tell dh that there will be "light at the end of the tunnel" although atm I can't see this myself.

Support would be appreciated.

Bumping for you shhhhh.

Have you seen my pnd thread?

the OP is helpful to some who don't understand

shhhh, as you know, i think, i had pnd, diagnosed when ds was 3/4 months old. i knew i was being horrid to dh but i couldnt help it. i am similar when pregnant so he is suffering again now. it must be hard for them. dh has diabetes so gets nasty moods, obviously they dont last long but i can sort of imagine it must be awful to live with. he says when i had it all he could do was try and comfort me when necessary but it was difficult because if i wasnt shouting at him i was crying- over nothing so he didnt know what to do or say as there was no reason/answer. dh didnt see me as unreasonable, so he says. he says he understood i was ill and that was it although sometimes he forgot as well. he says to cope he mostly kept his head down and out of my sight! i feel terrible as he tells me this!! shhh, there is light at the end of the tunnel. i am ok now, although i am sure it will come back when this babe arrives. i thought i would be like it forever. dh has just piped up with 'he needs to deal with it. you are still his wife, the woman he married and loves. she wont be like it forever' dont know if that helps. sorry if it doesnt. and sorry, just noticed you wanted guys to post!!

dh got a bit emotional there with his little explosion!! x

Shhhh Read VVVs link and get your DH to read it too.

Thanks everyone for the postings. I don't mind who posts just as long as dh can get the advice and support he so needs. I know how hard life can be with me but then again it's beyond my control..it's like I'm behind a window watching life unfold..noone can see or hear me.

I will read your link vvv and pass it onto dh.

1Baby1bump, thanks for your dh's comments. It's nice to hear someone who has come out of the otherside.I suppose it's hard for men as they aren't as emotional as us women and sometimes you need to hit them with a brick to make them see things iykwim.! Not literally though..!
BTW 1baby..I put out a chase for you on the announcements thread as last I heard you were in labour..I was chasing to see how things went with the xbox.? Also see baby is still not here..!!

vvv, just read your link. I had already read this and read your poem on rhubards wedsite. I also read it to dh last night......not sure whether it suck into his head but he acknowledged it and did give me his attention...

I suppose somedays are harder than others for the both of us and we just need to know on the bad days that I am normal and that life will improve..

no babie's not here yet but i feel it wont be long!
have put in a claim with paypal and contacted police as they say its called 'obtaining money by deception' and if ppal cant help they will step in. the sellers' details that i requested from ebay contain their home phone no. which the police can find their address from.
somewhere in dundee i believe!

thought dh's outburst would be best raw, exactly how he said it. its a shame you are so far away as im sure i will suffer again this time and its such a dark, scary place it would have been nice to meet and support each other.

sorry, baby's not here yet- awful english there!

hiya 1baby1bump, hope ebay is sorted soon. With the issue dh had with ebay the police wouldn't get involved. Said it wasn't a issue they could deal with.! Hey ho had to write the money off in the end..makes me sick people ripping genuine folk off like that.

Yes, thanks for the advice. Things have been a bit calmer with dht he last few days. I hope you don't suffer again once baby arrives (not long..!). You are welcome to CAT me or to have my email address even if it's for a chat. I;m sure it'll also do me a world of good. Yes it is a shame we don't live closer....

i had bad pnd, that was 7 years ago now and i dd2 is almost 1 and i havent suffered this time round thankfully! so it doesnt have to happen everytime and you can come out the other side. looking back i htink alot of mine was circumstances - no money, no real place to live, abusive partner, very young (17) and i just felt very alone and like evryone was against me. now i majority of the time im happy and content, this time all my circumstances are different and ive grown up alot. i dont have any tips for your dh but you will come out the other side of this i take it yu have seen you gp? i went on prozac for about 5 months it helped me see things clearer and i was able to sort myself out.