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Original poster

Stag weekends/lapdancing....

43 replies

Quacks · 07/07/2006 09:04

Please could some of you nice blokes help me out here. My DH has to go to his younger brothers stag weekend in Blackpool and he was sent the itinery yesterday. He showed me they have to go to loads of seedy bars and they are booked into VIP seats at a lap dancing club. I'm really bothered by it and want to know why I canlt just say cool go for it DH. He knows my feelings and just said he would bow out at the lap dancing club, no probs, but I feel stupid if he does that.
What exactly have I got to worry about? Why does it bother me if he ogles some totty with nothing on??
Any views/experiences appreciated!!!

OP posts:

JellyNump · 10/07/2006 23:56

Is it true spearmint rhinos have one room where the meals are served that is separate from the lap dancing?? cos that sounds like a crap excuse to me!!!

DontTellTheWife · 11/07/2006 15:39

Admission time.
I've been taken a couple of times by an over eager supplier. The first time I have to admit I was keen as I had never seen a stripper in my life, my wife was not particularly keen about it but said it was Ok just the once (And I know she wanted to know what I would think of it). It was embarrassing really, girls come over and chat (and I'm shit at small talk so didn't really enjoy that) then do a dance for you, take £20 and disappear. The problem is:-

It's kinda awkward if you don't really find them that attractive (What do you say? "Please bog off you're a minger"???)
I know the idea is to stare at a naked girl but I found it very uncomfortable looking at someone who is only taking her clothes off because you gave her a crinkly bit of paper!. I ended up staring into their eyes most of the time.
What is the etiquette afterwards? They stand in front of you putting their clothes back on. What do you say? How's your mother these days? Isn't the water ban a bugger? Wax or shave? Thanks for taking your clothes off for me? Or nothing at all which makes the whole thing seem much worse.
You just feel like a perve.

Now keener readers may have spotted that I said I'd been a couple of times. Well the second time wifey wasn't keen at all but I did go as it was corporate do again (Spearmint Rhino). Never again. I thought I wouldn't find it as embarrasing but I did. Oh and they take you to a very dimly lit room where other ladies are dancing for chaps and it was darker than most cinemas I've been to, she might have been wearing a suit of armour but I couldn't honestly say.

What I am trying to get at Quacks is that if your DH is anything like me you should probably let him go to satisfy his curiousity because in a males' minds eye it sounds like a great deal of fun. However, in reality it's crap, embarassing, expensive and very quickly becomes boring. I?d never go again. Just like most fantasies they are best left as fantasies but he?s only going to know that after.

Chloe55 · 11/07/2006 16:30

My dh has been plenty of times with mates over the years and there was a lapdance club opening near us a couple of years ago and we knew the owner so I agreed to go along for the free champagne and tbh, the experience. DH managed to persuade me to go into a private room with him for a girl to dance for us (very attractive) Well, call me naive but I was not expecting what came next. The girl got full-on naked an writhed her body up and down both me and dh, I mean proper writhing, I could have just died - I was soooooooooooooooo embarrassed, never again. TBH I tell dh that I am not that bothered if he goes (which is very rarely now, mainly just stag dos) but I have to admit that after actually experiencing a dance myself I am not too happy about the whole situation.

If you dh says he won't go then tell him you really appreciate that and that you are just not comfortable with it - that way you are not telling him he can't go so therefore it is really his choice. Like someone said though try not to get upset if he ends up there, sometimes people have little choice when their mates start jibing, not that it's right but it happens.

monkeytrousers · 12/07/2006 09:53

Dp wouldn't go, he hates all that stuff, thank god.

WellaWellaWellaHuh · 12/07/2006 19:30

There's a Finn Dance club opening near us - makes a change from the Laps and Poles!

MrsBadger · 12/07/2006 19:37

fin dancing?
you need cod

Greensleeves · 12/07/2006 19:41

DTTW - it sounds dreadful

It's very interesting to hear a frank appraisal from a "normal bloke" though.

Ulysees · 12/07/2006 19:47

chloe55 I'd have hated that

I'd let dh go, hoping he'd run off with a dancer

quack, let him go (not for above though!) if he wants to as he sounds trustworthy. Like has been said nothing will go on. If he's got any sense he'll keep his cash.

satine · 12/07/2006 19:53

Quite agree that the idea is probably far sexier than the reality, so I'd say let him go. But my dh has been to several, on stag nights etc, and says that they aren't half as exciting as they're cracked up to be, so I'm happy enough for him to go again.

pablopatito · 18/07/2006 11:13

I never want to go to these kind of things but always prefer it if my wife 'bans' it. That way I have a 'valid' excuse in front of the lads, rather than the reality which is that I just don't want to go.

HappyDaddy · 18/07/2006 15:15

I usually say, "No, thanks. I don't fancy having my tie rubbed up some dipper's chuff, ta". All the other guys then look down at their ties...

dh40k · 26/07/2006 20:20

Personally, I'd say that whoever arranged the itinerary needs his head examining. Strip clubs and lap dancing joints may titillate, but it hardly equates to "fun".

It all sounds like the organizer had an imagination failure. What about quad-biking? Paint-balling? Hell, the last stag do I went on was to a bowling alley, with an early start on the golf course the next day. All of the men got to know one another really well, we had a great time and didn't blow a fortune.

UnquietDad · 17/08/2006 18:01

Apparently there's a new film in which Emilia Fox pole-dances. I'll have to watch that to, er, see what directorial technique is used.

There is, though, something rather un-sexy about pole-dancing - from the little I've seen of it, which has only admittedly been on the screen - although it seems marginally more enticing if the young lady is clad in something tight than if she is naked.

I can't begin to describe how unsettling I'd find the whole experience of going to a "gentlemen's club". A red-blooded man with a pulse can appreciate the female body in all its forms and still find such places thoroughly distasteful. Thankfully, I have never been invited to one, although did once go on a stag night where it was mooted and (only just) out-voted.

nightowl · 17/08/2006 18:54

have you ever seen blackpool strippers? a long time ago, a group of us went there and myself and another one of the gfs were dragged into a bar complete with strippers. the men stood there drooling, we stood there laughing. it never even occured to us to be bothered in any way.

ive been cheated on many times...but never with a stripper! it wouldnt bother me at all really.

2ndtime · 06/09/2006 21:33

Sorry, I know this thread is a bit old but I've just discovered the mens room and I love it in here!
On a girls night out a couple of years ago (I am a girl BTW), we rather drunkenly decided to go to the recently opened lap dancing club to see what it was all about.

The door staff weren't sure what to do with a bunch of "no tails" wanting to come in so they called the manager. He was lovely and let us all in for half price and gave us a drink on the house while he explained what it was all about.
The biggest eye opener was how ordinary all the girls were. They all had their bad bits, cellulite, droopy boobs, cankles etc. It was just their make up, fake tans and super confidence that made them give the impression of being any different/better than us. We paid for a lap dance and finished up talking to the girl (a law student) about her stretch marks! Having been in a lap dancing joint I would have no qualms at all about my DH going in one. Dont know if he has been and couldnt care less. We had a great night out and were able to get served at the bar in seconds, were sent loads of free drinks over from blokes who I think were hoping to blackmail us if we knew their wives! And the best bit, there was no que in the ladies. In fact I dont think they had ever been used!
I'd be up for a visit with DH but he thinks I'm kidding and doesn't believe me,I think it would be fun.

2ndtime · 06/09/2006 22:18

Hmmm. Never realised men went to bed so early! or are you all in the pub?

BigGayDad · 07/09/2006 23:17

I don't know much about Lap dancing. I don't know much about the traditional dancing of any northerly countries, not just Lapland!!

UnquietDad · 08/09/2006 09:09

There's Pole dancing, if you fancy the Eastern European variety.

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