I'm a woman, so I can't really answer your question. These are mine thoughts about porn.
It's terrible when the man makes you feel that you're not good enough. I don't think it's directly linked to watching porn, but more indirectly.
There're man who watch it and their partners are ok with it. These couples do have a good sex life and nothing is wrong with the situation.
When the couple isn't openly communicating about their needs and then the man watches porn and neglects his wife or does it behind her back
That's painful!
That's when you start wandering. Why is he doing that? Am I not good enough for him anymore. Etc.
Man are more interested in sex itself.
Our fantasies are a bit more complicated then mans are. Study's say that a man thinks in every hour at least one time about sex.
That one time could be one second a minute, but not that very long.
With us ladies study say that we think on an average once a day about sex. But that once a day is usually longer then that little second or min the man thinks about it.
We're full of fantasies and things we like. We dream more about everything around sex, not so much about sex itself.
Man don't take us out for a fancy dinner just for the fun of it. They're very happy to skip that part and go straight for sex.
They do all these things for us. Because they very well know that they don't get far if they don't work hard for it.
Even with the dinner, cinema, dancing etc. It's still a gamble for them on what's going to happen later in the evening.
We ladies we can watch Depp, Dicaprio, Pitt and those others for hours!!! We're able to fantasize about them or someone else who we fancy for that same amount of time.
When there is no sexual stimulation anymore or the man had his orgasm his thoughts go back to normal. (same as his penis)
We ladies are able to continue to dream about this perfect man for hours and even days and weeks! Even after we've had our orgasm we're still able to continue with our romantic thoughts. Most man aren't even physical and mentally capable of doing that.
If a man cheats it's just for sex and usually it's a one night stand kind of thing. It usually has got nothing to do with them being unhappy with their partner. It's more curiosity then unhappiness.
A lady who's going to cheat on her partner usually does that with one other man. This isn't a one night stand. This relationship can go on for years without her partner knowing about it.
It's not curiosity that drives a lady into the arms of another man. Usually she's unhappy in her relationship. This other man can give her what she's missing.
Man do find it difficult to talk to us about their feelings and needs. We'd love them to be more open to us, but we don't always make things easy for them.
If a man would say something wrong about sex, her figure or feelings to his wife. He knows that he might and up with objects being throne towards his head.
Followed by millions of questions which usually are the same questions with 1 or 2 minutes of pauses in between.
This happens usually in the middle of the night. Man aren't the best in communication, let alone when they are trying to get some sleep.
That then gets followed by the lady who becomes more and more furious. Leaves the house and goes to a friend. By this lady friend an entire army of ladies is being called together to discuss the matter in all possible ways imaginable.
Years later you say something wrong and before you know it this argument that you thought that had finished years ago starts all over again!!!!
We got to try not to get to quickly upset by what a man tells us. Just stay calm and have a nice chat about things.
As long as the relationship is ok it's usually ok to watch porn or for the lady a movie. But when things are not going well. Then it could be painful for the lady when the man watches porn.
But don't forget man do have feelings too!!!!
They might not like to talk about them. But that doesn't mean that they aren't there.
They sure have them and likewise it also could be painful for the man when the lady is watching these film stars and is dreaming away with them.
A man could be starting to ask himself the very same questions. Am I good enough for her? Am I good enough in bed etc.
I think we ladies are usually much worse when it comes down to watching porn. But in our case it's not called porn and man don't seem to mind it that we do watch these super stars.
I think we spend a lot more time on it then an average man ever would spend on porn.
I also think that's why we are quicker in making a fuss about it. It's difficult to think or to understand that porn is not such a big thing for a man. It's just nice for them and fun. They're still happy with us when they watch it.
Ladies are quicker in thinking that this man on that movie is better then the partner that she has got.
She dreams of being with this other guy. Wishing her partner was more like him.
Because we're quicker into thinking in that kind of way. We're also quicker to judge our man to be like us.
They're similar, but not the same.
Likewise it's because men do know that watching porn isn't like cheating or a sign of being unhappy with their partner. They don't mind what we are watching or thinking.
I'm originally from the Netherlands and we've a saying there:
Zoals de waard is, vertrouwt hij zijn gasten
Translation:
Ill doers are ill deemers. Evil doers are evil dreaders.
I think this phrase goes perfect with this problem. We ladies are very quick in accusing man of what we're doing.
Not understanding that some things are really totally different for a man then it's for us.
We don't need to be so scared of loosing our partner or that he has lost his love for us.
Men don't go for a divorce that quickly. It's us ladies who often go for a divorce, not our husbands.
Ill doers are ill deemers. Evil doers are evil dreaders.
Don't be scared and talk with your partner about your sexual needs. And always work on your relationship/marriage. That doesn't stay well all by itself you both got to work for it.
If one or both partners don't work on it on a regular basis, it'll fall apart.
Just my thoughts about porn.
Sylvia