Excuses for not cutting the grass.

[madas]

It seems like only yesterday i cut the bloody grass and now it neeeds doing again. How do i side step this odious task and avoid the wrath of she who must be obeyed.

My DH always manages with 'I'll do it this afternoon' and then by some freak or nature (either that or he is Thor), it then always bloody rains.

My excuse window will not get that far.

Just do it every Saturday morning at 8am, March-October. I find men can only get stuff done if it's completely routine.

Surreptitiously wiggle a cotton bud up your nose, and develope sneezing fits. You cannot possibly be asked to mow the grass if you have hay fever.

The hayfever one maybe a goer, (frantically rubs eyes)

Pretend to have discovered a rare colony of plants &/or insects on your lawn. Pick up phone....ring the speaking clock or something and have a conversation with the 'environment agency' confirming that it is illegal to disturb said colony. For added authenticity make up a latin sounding name.

4 ido have a saturday morning routine, if im not at work i sleep till 9 lazy git i know :)

I fear my time is running out she who must be obeyed is on her way back from the mil as we speak. I fear this is another battle lost by me. Onwards and upwards and thanks for your efforts.

You are resting the grass as constant cutting weakens it and causes bald patches this should be done OOooo every other month.

Hmmm second thoughts, you will get asked to apply lawn feed and aeriate it if you do that.

Just cut the grass. It'll look great when it's done, and you can claim afternoon rights as your reward.
Compromise my friend.

Maybe your lawnmower is broken....?

Ask your wife to do it for a change? Really, I enjoy cutting the grass, makes a change from all the other repetitive boring tasks I have to do!!! Rota ALL the tedious weekend tasks?

8am?? Hope your neighbours are tolerant. I would quite liderally mow the head of anyone who ran a lawnmower at that time on a weekend.

The answer is DPM and shale.

hedgehogs hibernating

Because you are watching the Olympics of course!

Tell her to do it herself?

Is there a job she's putting off which you could do?

tell her you are afraid of frogs. There was a thread on here about a lady getting frog guts in her face when the lawn mower ran one over. If you have a few quid get a local teen to do it for pocket money.

or get a goat to eat your grass

The deed was done front and rear lawns, edged as well. As for my dp doing them this is one of our trade offs. I hate ironing and she hates gardening.

I hate ironing and I hate mowing the lawn. Ex left and he used to do both it's the only thing I miss about him...

I mowed the lawn today as I couldn't think of a decent enough excuse to say to myself

Should have just said the lawnmower was broken....

Fake hay fever. Grass pollen is awful for sufferers.
Google the symptoms

Got any older children (your own or "borrowed") who would benefit the responsibility of cutting the grass? Or a neighbour who likes gardening.

I always set my mower to the longest setting. It is better for the grass and you can probably get away without cutting it for two or three weeks. :-)

Have you considered napalm?