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Advice from stay at home Dads please

6 replies

FreelanceMama · 04/07/2012 18:33

Hi,

My partner's about to start six months additional paternity leave and I'm starting back working from home. If any chaps have been there, done that, it would be great to hear about your experience, any tips I can pass on to him, or things we should be doing to help us adjust to this shift? It sounds like a great arrangement on paper...Cheers!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
sonnyandluca · 04/07/2012 19:49

Hiya,

From a dads point of view its a great idea in practice too!

I've been a stay at home dad of two toddlers for the last year or so and I've loved every minute of it.

From a practical point of view he'll find being out and about surprisingly easy. We're still a relatively rare breed so I've found playgroups etc a great place to go as we seem to get all the help we need from you mums who seem to keep an eye out for us regardless of how much we need it.

From the point of view of you working from home its probably stating the obvious but I found it imperative that the 'office' is out of earshot/eyesight for the benefit of everyone.

Apart from that, all the issues I expected or feared proved unfounded and Ive found it to be so much fun, especially since my boys have got a little older.

Not sure this reply particularly helps but if there's anything I can answer please let me know.

I started a blog with the intention of it being about the issues relating to be a stay at home dad but it turned out to be just a blog of our adventures.

www.sonnyandluca.co.uk

Good luck, tell him from me its a magical time!

Mark

FreelanceMama · 04/07/2012 22:13

Hi Mark,

Music to my ears. So glad our son was born after the new legislation about shared maternity leave kicked in. Thanks for replying and for sharing your blog too - really lovely and something I expect your boys will appreciate when they're older.

Advice noted about being out of ear/eye-shot. Living in a small flat, that might be tricky, so I think I'll have to build a list of nearby cafes with wifi so I can leave them to it when they're at home.

Look forward to seeing more of your adventures online soon.

Thanks,

Cheryl

OP posts:
EnglishGirlApproximately · 12/07/2012 16:55

Lurking here as I'm on as I'm currently on maternity leave and we are considering the idea of DP going part time at the end of leave and me returning full time. The reality for us is that I have always been the higher earner and while we can manage on DP's salary things would be a lot easier financially if I were to return to work.

Mark can I ask - how are you perceived by other men? We live in a small ex-mining town where very traditional values are still largely held. Our main concern at the moment is what happens when DS goes to school - how will DP be viewed returning to the job market? Have you experienced any negativity towards you not being the 'breadwinner'?
This isn't how we think at all but I know in my area that a SAHD will be very unusual
tia

IBlameThePenguins · 12/07/2012 17:01

hi, my dp is a stay at home dad. he has been since he was made redundant a year ago. I will ask him to come on and write some thoughts down later if that would be helpful?

EnglishGirlApproximately · 12/07/2012 17:39

penguins that would be great thank you!

Thumpsquids · 04/08/2012 11:26

I've been a stay-at-home dad since April, after the missus wanted to return to full-time work. She had been struggling at home, with feelings of isolation. She's also the brains of the family, and capable of earning more than me, so it seemed like a good idea. It was.

We had tried our (then 10-month old) son, Franklin in a nursery, but he was constantly ill and grizzly, it just wasn't worth it. We've had a few sleep issues with our little fella since birth, and adding permanent sniffles into the mix was plain hell. So, we made the big decision. My wife works largely from home, which made the choice easier. I had not been out of work for an extended period for years, and it hit me a little hard to begin with. The first few weeks were a little dull and lonely. I missed the interactions I had at work, (Family Support Worker at a local children's centre, which meant lots fun and interesting/gory bits). However, soon after, with sleep training to do and play-groups to attend and watching him slide towards his first birthday and having fun and being there to see him change from day to day, I began to love my new role. I still do. I don't see many dads with their children during the day, which is sad in a way, and I feel a little privileged to have the opportunity.

I don?t imagine it will be long-term, as we?re currently saving to buy our first home, but each day with my son is a joy and hard work in itself. The pay is just a bit less monetary, and a good deal more valuable. I love that I can support my family in this way, and enjoy a bond that I would have if I were a full-time worker, but not to this extent.

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