Benefits of NCT

[djbaker80]

Hello all,

First post, first baby on the way. My partner and I were looking at signing on for NCT classes, but at £300 including membership it seems a bit pricey. Is it worth it? What are the benefits for Dads to be compared to the free NHS ones? I like the idea of meeting other dads to be in the area as most of my friends don't have kids, and I'm sure I will learn a few things, but isn't everything covered in books?

Thoughts and advice please.....

Hi dj and welcome to impending dadhood!

I didn't go on any of those courses as we didn't have any NHS ones near us and the NCT prices took the piss were a bit steep. But almost 3 years later my dd is still alive!

I honestly don't think they're worth it anyway and that you can learn more from family!

And try not to read too many books. They can help you understand a lot of stuff, but don't get hung up on the details! My dd had problems with sleep and all the books I'd read made me feel useless because they portrayed this amazing baby that slept 20 hours a day and mine slept about 10 or less.

And btw, don't feel you need to stick to dadsnet. Feel free to post wherever on MN!

Maybe steer clear of AIBU though...

My DH liked our NCT classes because

1. He instantly had a bunch of 30-something dads-to-be to talk to

1. The NCT teacher spoke to him like he mattered (he got the brush-off from a couple of midwives while I was pregnant

1. He didn't feel old (like we both did in the only NHS class we went to!)

1. We are still friends with the couples we met and our kids got a bunch of instant playmates

1. When I was at my least rational he could pack me off in the direction of another NCT mum-to-be for a wibble.

You will not get this from any book. £300 well spent, we thought.

Oh, but do go to the one NHS class about pain relief, to get a non-NCT view.

One more thing.

5 couples in our NCT group, lots of time to ask all the "silly" questions.

30 couples in the NHS class, fewer and shorter sessions - try getting the attention of the mw at the front....

It's just the very start of determinging your "class2 position as ap arent. If £300 is too steep then those who cannot afford it will tend not to join and thus those who do join can be sure the write class and accent of parent will be part of it which is why it's a good way for middle class people to meet similiar people.

It is the start of a parental process which then may lead on to the better but costly nursery school, the smarter preop schools and the academic fee paying secondaries through to the best universities and good careers. You can keep out of that game or indeed not afford to be part of it or not. Entirely up to parents. You can play it in other ways through the accent the child will develop and the types of clothes it will wear and even whether it's name is common or middle class. All good fun.

Hi dj

(I'm posting on my wife's account as I've nicked her iPad for the evening!)

We went to nct antenatal, and while the classes were very interesting and informative, the main benefit was instantly meeting seven other couples just like us, all of which we're friends with 51 weeks on from the birth of our lovely little girl.

My darling Missus still sees most of the other mums on an almost weekly basis, despite 7 out 8 mums having returned to work. Swimming, park walkies etc, all good stuff. It's been fab for her to have this instant support network of mums around her.

I've been on a few dads pub nights, which are also good fun. actually, she's encouraging me to organise more booze ups, which is a result! And we've got a joint birthday party for all 8 babies next weekend.

So all in all, it was worth every penny of the fees for us.

Hope this helps

Oz

Not worth it! I went to them out of snobbery. I should have gone to the hospital ones. I had to travel for them because I don't live in a middle class enough area to have them. If I'd gone to the hosp ones, I'd have met people living in my area and got familiar with the hosp I'd give birth in.
Also I had absolutely no idea that I'd find breast feeding difficult and the nct classes didn't even hint that this might be the case for some people. If I'd been prepared I might have been able to breast feed for longer.

I think it's fair to say that NCT will be anti-medical intervention and pro-breastfeeding.

A good balance is to also go to the NHS sessions covering pain relief.

I also went to the NHS breastfeeding course, which was mums-only and very, very helpful. Would recommend that to your DP.

I used the NCT breastfeeding counsellor several times while getting feeding established.

Thanks everyone! by the sounds of it the advantages are all to do with social networking/meeting people in your area of a similar background and age going through the same thing, which is definitely a good thing, and as there is one by us it might be worth it. It was strange feeling really old at the hospital at 32!

This may be the start of many posts on here, but SillyBeardyDaddyman I will give the mumsnet forums a go to, wasn't sure if they were women only or not...

Give it all a look and don't be shy about joining in. Definitely not just for mums (don't let the name fool you!), there are mums dads grans and even non-parents on here!

I really can't imagine what 300 quid would achieve. in terms of being able to ask questions, you have the problem of just a single "expert" in an area where there is no one right answer. Asking all the same questions on MN will get you much better answers as you can hear all sides rather than just the one that the NCT leader has most confidence in. Even the best can give all sides and would be led by their own bias and lack of time.

So the only "value" is in buying a group of potential friends, so that really depends on how important it is for you - it's probably good value for money, if you're not too fussy on how interesting the individuals they are and are happy with the only thing you have in common are a new baby and the desire to spend 300 quid to meet people.

As I said it's a class filter and it gives you a chance to talk about things in more detail than most NHS classes. My mother was one of the first members.

I wouldn't do the NHS classes for all the same reasons, other than not needing to spend 300 quid to do them. I suspect how interested you are in "classes" at all is a big first question to ask yourself before you choose if any particular ones are appropriate.

Another thought. NCT support doesn't stop at birth - I went to baby groups afterwards, too, which were a lifeline in the early days once DH went back to work.

I didn't do the whole coffee morning thing but could have done if I'd chosen to, for as long as I still had a child to take! I'm not an NCT member any more, but TBH if we had another one I'd probably rejoin to get back on the mum-and-baby circuit.

Yes, there is a class thing in there as NCT classes are fee-paying (though my branch would waive that for a couple who were out of work/ on their uppers, I never met anyone who that applied to - maybe no-one knew about it or didn't feel comfortable coming on that basis, I don't know). DH and I did note that we came to classes in the oldest/ scruffiest cars on the car park, by some distance!

BUT for me, it wasn't so much about class as about age, IYSWIM, as on the average MC mums tend to be older and therefore more like me (33 when DS was born).

I went to other baby groups run by the local HVs, and they were lovely and we stuck with them, but if I wasn't pretty careful I'd end up sat next to someone who was young enough to have been my daughter, and who saw me in that light. Again, that's fine and I met some really nice younger mums, but it's not all that great for proper peer support really IMHO.

Best money we ever spent because of the support and friendship we got from the other couples.

Can i suggest that you don't tell your midwife and go on the nhs ones too.

Also avoid the weekend courses if you can - tends to be the stressed bankers who do those.

We went to the NCT classes on a recommendation from a friend who'd used them and I thought they were worth it after they finished.

They were, as others have posted, pro-breast-feeding and anti-pain-relief, but we got a lot of information we wouldn't have got from books, and made some friends we still see over 2 years later.

I didn't regret spending the money.

Worth it for knowing a group of people in your area, including dads, who have babies more-or-less-exactly the same age as yours.

You all hit the same baby problems at about the same time, which is comforting.

I've asked my DH this and from his perspective it was useful to get in depth coverage of labour/ interventions etc we covered far more than at our NHS classes.

However, he wasn't bothered about the support network as he already has friends. That was more important for me as a mum while on maternity leave to have an instant group of friends with babies of the same age.

You don't have to pay the membership, it's not compulsary.

I found them particularly good for two reasons, neither of which relate to the social side. The first was the bf evening - really helped - and DH helped me (and ds) too - which was particularly useful in recovery after emcs. The second was that we went through the whole raft of what might happen if 'ideal' route didn't happen. I was going to have a water birth - but ended up with an epidural and an emcs. However, because I'd been to the class, I knew what options there were and I somehow felt more in control - at least I knew what was happening and why. Yes, social side OK - but lost touch and in fact used the roving NCT coffee morning contacts more than the original group.

Please note you don't have to do NCT classes to attend Bumps and Babies and other coffee groups, but you do need a posh or at least tidy house if you are going to host.

I didn't have and edited the magazine instead.

If you are an older graduate parent the classes and coffee groups are a great way to make friends, we had our 10 year reunion over the summer.

I try not to comment on NHS classes, because ours were taken by a truly useless MW.

Having meet many others at the hospital and in the community before, after and at DD2s home birth I know she was not representative.