The politics of team selection

[ruggermum]

DS loves his rugby and is good at it. I think that he ought to be in the school First team but he isn't being selected. ATM he is on the subs bench getting no playing time. He is thinking of asking to go down to Seconds so at least he gets to play a full match.

How do you go about getting yourself selected? In fantasy world he would have a sensible conversation with the coach and find out what he needs to do to get selected. In RL, the coach is your usual PE teacher, the guy is an insecure bully, he has favourites, if you ask questions you are seen as challenging his authority, if you dare put your head above the parapet it gets shot down PDQ,. We can't appeal to the Head of the PE Department because he is the HoD. There is no point in speaking t othe Headteacher because the Head won't confront him.

DS is a good player, he can cover any number of positions. That may be part of his downfall - he is an all-purpose substitute for many positions so a useful person to have on the bench.

I suggested that DS speak to the Captain but DS thinks that Capn will not champion DS (Y12) over Capn's Y13 friends.

Ds attends all training sessions.

What is a subtle way to get the coach to see the error of his ways. How do we pursuade him to have (what he thinks is his own) bright idea to put DS in the First XV.
If DS asks to play Seconds is that a suicide note and he will never get back to Firsts.

Rugger I don't think you can persuade the coach. It might be that getting some playing time in the seconds would work, but he may not be seen by the head coach so you don't know how this will work.
If I were you, I'd persuade your son to join a suitable local club and work his way into a team to which he is suited. This will increase his game time, get his confidence up and get him seen by more coaches. His skills WILL be spotted if he plays in front of enough people and coaches.
HTH

He was with a local club for years and they were very successful but that stage (mini & junior) is over. At this age, all the best players prioritise school over club.

DS is a good player but not so good on a**e-licking and politics. What can I tell him about how to deal with a coach that doesn't like you?

I guess this is just one of those hard lessons in life. Perseverance is something he'll have to learn if he wants to go far in any sport or life in general. There will be some kids more gifted than him that may not have the gumption and grit to keep on trying and trying to get to where they want to. Persistence and hard work will be deciding factor for the ones that progress. He WILL get noticed if he keeps on giving his all. It can just be a hard slog sometimes. I wouldn't be trying to teach a child to deal with politics - it can makethem very cynical.

Thank you GMSS. This is the tack that DH is taking. He is telling DS that the coach is doing it as an experiment to see if DS has stickability and perseverance. Like an initiation test.

I can't speak from experience about rugby, but I can speak about experience of a similar problem I had playing basketball. I love the game, but found I was often the number one bench warmer aka being brought on as the first substitute. I decided that if I wanted to get in to the first team I was going to have to put the work in (I was 14 at the time).

For my 15th birthday I asked for a basketball stand which was quite expensive at the time. In addition to playing at home some evenings, I'd get some friends round on a Friday evening for a game of basketball and cards. This was useful for improving team connections and improving my game. I also then started practising most mornings before school and playing more or less every lunchtime. I also worked to improve my fitness and strength.

I dropped down to the second team and ended up being the captain. I played there for a couple of years, continued to work at improving and playing regularly and showing how I was improving, but scoring more and being a better all round player.

So...by the age of 18 and in my final year at school I was asked by the coach to return to the first team, as a starting five player. I still found myself occassionally starting from the bench, but I also found myself being the captain for a number of games.

The moral of the story? Dropping down to the 2nd team doesn't mean anything, if he's prepared to put the work in. Also, I was quite happy to occassionally take a bench start, but was also rewarded with being given captaincy. It's about being mature and a team player. I'd say you know what's best for your son and whether he sees playing as being a bit of competive fun or if he wants to prove himself.

HTH