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Original poster

Circumcision

52 replies

juneau · 21/06/2011 12:39

Right, I need a man's perspective on this.

I've just had my second son. My DH (who is American), is circumcised, as is my DS1 (who was born in the US), and DH assumes that we'll get DS2 circumcised. I can't say that I gave a lot of thought to getting DS1 circumcised because everyone in the US seems to get it done and so I didn't really question it at the time. But since then I've changed my mind quite a bit. It's his body, after all, and I'm worried now that I consented to something I didn't really have the right to do IYKWIM?

So, to DS2. We had the six-week post-birth check this morning and I was supposed to be asking the doctor for a referral for the circumcision, except I forgot. Honestly! But I'm definitely feeling conflicted about it and so I want to know - if you're a man how would you/do you feel about circumcision? Do you think anyone else has the right to make that decision, and if your father and older brother are/were circumcised would you want to look the same or would that not even feature in your opinion on the issue? Please help - I want to make the right choice for my son.

OP posts:
culturemulcher · 08/07/2011 19:50

I heard a very interesting debate on Radio 4 last week (I think) about this. Did anyone else hear it? Perhaps it's still on Listen Again.

It seems there's a big campaign starting up in the UK against circumcision. The reasons they gave against the procedure were quite surprising... quality of sex life being one.

Hope someone else on this thread heard it too and can give you the name of the programme.

BelfastBloke · 08/07/2011 20:45

Zaye007 said "what no one here seems to have picked up on is the much reduced incidence of HIV/HPV"

What about my post immediately before yours, Zaye? I picked up on it.

You ask, why use acronyms? Why does any group of people use acronyms? Speed of communication.

RosyRosie · 08/07/2011 23:34

I would prefer ment o just stay the way they naturally are unless it's for medical reasons, and i would certainly want my son to have a choice later. My husband isn't circumcised and no smegma/other unpleasant issues at all. I have been with a circumcised man...didn't make any difference to me.

Bandwithering · 08/07/2011 23:38

NO! dont' do it. I think the Americans may be slightly less obsessed with circumcising than they were.

Bandwithering · 08/07/2011 23:40

eh zaye, I disagree with you there. I didn't believe that my son's father had any good reasons for wanting son circumcised. 'because-i-am' didn't cut ice i'm afraid. also, when my son was born his willy was just so tiny, the thought of it HORRIFIED me and i'm so glad i stood up to him on that. son has a lovely willy now! i sound a weirdo now but i am very glad i put my foot down.

PigletJohn · 09/07/2011 00:15

Zaye007, I'm sorry to hear you women friends had experienced such grimy unwashed men. Were they living in a hot, dry area like medieval Middle East, or were they just unfamilar with the concept of personal hygene?

For the record, it is possible for women to be grimy and smelly as well, but I would not advocate infant surgery as the best way to tackle it.

As far as I can see, it's usually a matter of what you're used to. If you're used to living in a culture where everyone had their ears cut off in infancy, I'm sure you'd think natural ears sticking out of a person's head looked weird, and possibly ugly. If you live in a culture where no-one has their ears cut off, you'd think it was a cruel, unnatural and worthless mutilation.

PigletJohn · 09/07/2011 00:20

p.s.

Zaye007 "And yes, as an average, circumcised men "last" longer. That's not folklore or urban myth, it's just simple logic."

You have the advantage of me there. I have not had sex with lots of men so am not in a position to provide a statistically significant report.

How many men did you have to survey to know that?

Bandwithering · 09/07/2011 23:24

i reckon it's true piglet. Blush

Bandwithering · 09/07/2011 23:25

no i meant the opposite. uncirc longer.

PigletJohn · 10/07/2011 17:08

"How many men did you have to s hag urvey to know that?"

UrbanDad · 12/08/2011 13:40

I cannot understand why any parent is conflicted about this. When you ask yourself "Should I wound my child's genitals for no good reason?", the question answers itself. You would not be so equivocal about female circumcision.

And just to pre-empt the apologists, it is not a good reason if you: (a) believe in a deity who commands you to do so, (b) have some ancestors who have been doing it for ages, or (c) think "well, it didn't do mek any harm"

TrillianAstra · 12/08/2011 13:54

at men saying "well all my girlfriends said they liked my circumcised penis better".

Well they would, wouldn't they? If you want to get it on with someone insulting their penis (especially when there's nothing that can be done about it) is not exactly polite.

UrbanDad · 12/08/2011 14:01

And... if the OP wants an easy answer to whether her DS as an adult would have wanted her to get him circumcised when he was a child, just ask any man whether he would voluntarily submit to elective circumcision.

Her DS can always choose to be circumcised when he's 18 and old enough to decide for himself, anyway.

Ritual circumcision is usually done to infants only because they cannot resist, otherwise the practice would be dead within a generation.

BertieBotts · 12/08/2011 14:17

Trillian you beat me to it Grin I was going to say exactly that! has never said "Oh no, I love average sized penises much more than large ones!" or vice versa... Wink

I've had both. Didn't notice much difference. Smegma isn't an issue unless the guy doesn't wash, in which case, the stale urine in the pubic hair is going to put you off anyway, and hairless is slightly creepy. I'd probably be more comfortable with uncut because it's how it is supposed to look, and I'm more familiar with that. Adult women in the US at the moment are likely to be more familiar with circumcised penises, but as the circumcision rate goes down, the adults of 20 or so years in the future will probably encounter half and half or slightly more uncut men.

nickelbabe · 12/08/2011 14:29

I laughed at that too Trills - DH is not circ'd but has a short foreskin, and I told him I didn't like it Grin

RockinSockBunnies · 12/08/2011 14:41

DP is circumcised and I find it weird - most guys I've been with before had a foreskin which made hand jobs a lot easier!

No way on earth if I had a DS would he be circumcised, whatever DP thought.

Continuum · 12/08/2011 15:21

dh is American and also circumcised, we have one ds and another on the way. He thinks it's a cruel and barbaric thing to do to a baby and that men who say they should have matching looking penises with their sons are very strange!

misterwife · 14/08/2011 22:55

I had it done for medical reasons as a toddler and as such it's one of my first memories.

It wasn't that painful - it was sore for a few days max.

In my view there's no problem with it.

LancsDad · 16/08/2011 16:03

I'm circumcised, but had it done in mid 20's for non cosmetic reasons.

Would I recommend it if it's not necessary - NO

Do you last longer during sex- Possibly or is that just practice?

Does it reduce sensitivity - yes considerably and I believe this is a very common problem

Blu · 16/08/2011 16:14

Juneau, I don't think you can get it done here on the NHS unless there is a medical reason.
You would have to go private.

piano10 · 16/08/2011 19:26

..not being Muslim or Jewish /i would refrain from this procedure... but I have a 10 yr olds who does need it doing cos his foreskin is very tight.

HedleyLamarr · 17/08/2011 22:56

I would love to have a foreskin. We (XW and I) left DS uncut. If he wants to mutilate his cock then that's up to him.

MrsRhettButler · 17/08/2011 23:16

I've never been with a man who is uncut and I do have this idea that they are dirty Blush no offence to anyone it's just when I've seen photos of all that White stuff underneath urgh
I definitely like circumcised men!

I know you just have to wash but some men clearly don't.

Personally I would like to get any future ds's cut but not sure if I would go through with it as I'd feel sorry for them Confused

I have one dd and another dd on the way so as yet I haven't had to address the issue

MrsRhettButler · 17/08/2011 23:17

hedley can I ask why you wish you had one?

nickelbabe · 18/08/2011 14:13

Rhett - that white stuff is natural lubrication.

(obviously if it's yellow and cheesy, then it's disgusting and the man needs to wash)

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