Need male point of views - should my DH forgive me

[inthedoghouse1]

Have namechanged as going to let my H read this.

Was posted in AIBU by my H said answers were all from women, so all think the same as me, so trying again for Male pov...thanks

So.. we spent the last 2 weekends fitting some nice new doors on our cupboards. This morning, while looking for some shoes at the bottom of my cupboard, I lost my balance and fell, and unfortunately hit one of the mirrored doors, and cracked it (not that noticable, but cracked all the same). I immediately apologised a few times, went to work, apologised again by text and email.

Now, 12 hours later, my H is still mad at me and says I should be feeling guilty as well as sorry, as all the hours he spent installing them. Ive said sorry as many times as I can, and now im just getting angry. He says he is going to be angry for weeks still!

AIBU in thinking it was an accident, and he should let it go?

He's going to be angry for weeks over an accident? Weeks?

Blimey, talk about holding on to a grudge.

OK - I'd be pretty pissed off BUT it's an accident. Accidents happen. It could easily have been H doing the same thing.

Mr inthedogouse1, come on mate, these things happen. Sorry....

Also tend to think, if it happened the first time you looked for some shoes, surely it suggests the new doors might be a bit fragile/suspect.

By the way, seen the responses on AIBU. Apparently you are highly controlling Mr inthedoghouse1. Beware, the bitter man-haters will be hunting down - you'll soon be begging for forgiveness.

Jump into bed and make up :)

Sometiems you have to look beyond the damage. My 5 children have broken things before now and although it's upsetting at the time I try to think...well I could have a pristine house devoid of other people and love and instead I have furniture with marks on it. Aren't I lucky to have those marks? Isn't he lucky to have you?

Also can't you just yourself (women can be as good as men at DIY) get a piece of replacement mirror glass and take off the damaged piece and replace it? Can't be that hard.

Sounds to me like hurt pride - and I'm guessing the 'we' is as in royal - so he put up the doors. If they were hard to do, and handle, he will have been proud to have done so, with enough care to not crack the mirrors himself.

IMO the biggest mistake was the multiple apologies - totally un-necessary!

Have you thought about your household insurance.? This should be covered, and they'll send some-one to do the job.

Some thoughts

U

Ok, I'm a woman so not what you're looking for.

But if I fell and cracked a mirrored door, my DH's first reaction would be to check I was ok. Not to whinge about the door.

Ok, after that he might be a bit miffed about the door, if he'd spent ages on it. But he wouldn't be angry with me - it was an accident FGS.

Stop apologising, point out it was an accident and not your fault, and look into how to get it fixed (yourself).

nice thoughts Xenia.

Mr dooda - build a bridge and get over it. and love your wife. Stop being a PITA.

hope this helps

Just had a wicked thought...

You could wind him up, say you've changed your mind and on second thoughts the mirror wasn't safe, and you're concerned that ds/dd could hurt themselves, so shall we look at another style... pause, then fall about laughing.

Should crack the ice.

U

lol i never wanted the mirrored doors in the first place - it was a compromise

The "we" was not the royal we, it was we, and his DS. He may have done the hard parts, but I was there alongside, holding, pushing, passing, getting etc

PS I have stopped apologising now

It was an accident.

FFS!

Your H is acting like a petulant child, not a supposedly mature adult, these things happen.
Would he behave like such a knobber if one of your children had done it instead?

Mr inthedoghouse - grow the fuck up and get a bloody life! Life is too short for this infantile behaviour.

i have this feeling there is something you aren't telling us. How did you come to lose your balance, exactly?

Apart from 7 years bad luck on you - which perhaps is manifesting itself in your partners moaning - I don't see the issue.

Male POV: I often read of situations like this on Mumsnet, where someone describes his/her spouse as behaving a bit oddly, and the general impression is that some relevant fact (either deliberately not related or not even known to the describer) has been omitted. When I read this I also wonder how you came to lose your balance, whether you'd perhaps broken / done something else that morning or recently, and most of all, how you came to be apologising repeatedly and whether this was part of some sort of dialogue, the other half of which you haven't given details.

None of which is to suggest that your DH isn't being unreasonable. It's just that in my experience, there's generally a satisfactory reason for people's behaviour unless they're a) ill, b) intoxicated or c) absolutely berserk.

Unless your DH genuinely is being a twerp, I suggest making recompense by doing something rather than just saying sorry, as he's obviously upset.

You're asking the wrong question.

Your DH has nothing to forgive you for (as accidents happen).

The question is, should you forgive your DH for acting like such a prize idiot?

(and otherwise, what minipie said)

Accidents happen. He needs to put it behind him.

He needs to get a grip, it was an accident, it's not worth being angry for 'weeks' over!!

Why are you apologising (apart from a cursory 'sorry for ruining your hard work. Once)? It was an accident, you could have been hurt - he should be glad you're ok.

He sounds like a twat. Sorry.

I dropped my DH's beloved iphone on the concrete floor of A and E the other night.

(Just thought I'd share...)