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Genuine questions for husbands/male partners. I need your opinions.

45 replies

NosyRosie · 17/02/2011 07:40

When does 'reminding' become 'nagging'?

I started asking DH last May for some shelves in DD's bedroom. Occasionally I've mantioned it again and we've even had a discussion about it.

Because he accuses me so frequently of nagging him I've been very careful not to push it. When I mentioned them again last week he told me I hadn't reminded him enough Confused

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 13:29

The huffy room is a mattress on the floor. You could build a bed, if you are going to spend a long time in there.

stubbornhubby · 17/02/2011 14:04

...what do you get for a bed?

MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 15:21
stubbornhubby · 17/02/2011 15:38

that's an elaborate job all right..

swallowedAfly · 17/02/2011 15:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MmeLindt · 17/02/2011 15:53

Would that not be a push present?

Truckulente · 17/02/2011 18:16

Why is it a man's job to put up shelves?

That is like saying it is Women's work to cook and clean.

Women never nag? Not one? Ever?

Putting up shelves is easy, you can even google how to do it.

eeore · 17/02/2011 18:37

It becomes nagging five minutes after you don't accept that he will do it in a minute.

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 17/02/2011 21:22

I'll ask him and then he knows it needs doing. If he doesn't do it within a few weeks I'll do it myself if I can. If it's urgent (padlock on the lean-too door for example) I'll remind him in the week to get the bits for it and remind him again that he needs to do it. It's not nagging, its reminding because he forgets. He knows he does and I know he does.

I won't expect him to jump up and do it that very second. Unless it's poo related (cat/human whatever) then yep, right now would be good.

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 17/02/2011 21:23

Oh, and I can put up shelves. I've got my very own toolkit doncha know! Grin

onepieceoflollipop · 17/02/2011 21:27

Just learn to do it yourself, honestly. Grin

I can drill. If I am not sure what drill bit size/screw size to buy I go to the local DIY store and ask the assistant and they sell me the correct item.

With drilling, you need to be fairly confident and hold it steady. Make sure you have everything to hand. spirit levels and screw drivers etc.

If you are bothered that your dh is "getting away with it" then he can be cleaning the loo/mopping the kitchen floor/taking the kids out while you get on.

onepieceoflollipop · 17/02/2011 21:29

On the subject of diy I also plumbed in our new washing machine. It was Very easy.

Some people (men and women) struggle with diy for one reason or another. In our house I do the basic jobs, and we get someone in for more tricky jobs.

I challenged myself when I used to be Hmm at dh when we were first married and he showed no aptitude for diy.

Imo assuming a man will do/should do the drilling is as bad as the man assuming that the woman will do the "women's work"

stubbornhubby · 18/02/2011 00:30

by 'plumbed in' do you mean 'connected the hose' that is easy.

I emptied the tumble dryer last week. That was quite easy

MmeLindt · 18/02/2011 07:41

True, lollipop.

I have installed lamps and done basic DIY. Just as I expect every man to know how the iron works and how to boil an egg, so should women be able to change a fuse and hang a picture on the wall. It is not rocket science.

stubbornhubby · 18/02/2011 08:39

how the iron works?
or how to work the iron?

MmeLindt · 18/02/2011 09:27

Ha. How to use it.

BigHairyLeggedSpider · 18/02/2011 11:30

Haha I don't iron. I hate ironing. My life is way too short to spend half of it smoothing clothes. Grin

The only thing I think I'd insist on DP doing rather than me is anything to do with the electics. We have a socket which has come out of the wall and needs the faceplate replaced. I'm too scared to do it!

onepieceoflollipop · 18/02/2011 20:43

It did involve connecting the new hose, yes. But it also involved disconnecting the old hot and cold hoses. Capping off the old hot tap and reconnecting the new blue hose. Also fiddling about under the sink disconnecting the old waste pipe and refitting the new.

I did not feel the need to ask a man. Grin

Beamur · 18/02/2011 20:52

I do the vast majority of jobs round the house already and am capable of putting up a shelf. But I like my DP to do it.
If I started doing everything, then I would end up like my Mum, which I don't want to do.
I would never promise sexual rewards, but I do usually flatter my sweet DP with compliments and how attractive I find practical men...this has become a bit of a running joke between us.
However, the very best means of getting jobs done is quid pro quo - he does jobs when he wants something.
I know when he's planning a trip away walking/climbing as he is more helpful than usual! Ditto timing for work round the house, there's not much point asking in the summer as he'll want to be doing something else if the weather is nice, or winter as if its snowy he'll want to be out too, I have to wait for damp miserable weather for best results. He's done loads on the allotment this year Grin

givemesomespace · 18/02/2011 22:21

"There's no such thing as nagging".... I'm guessing there's a fair bit in your house.

"Tell him he's doing them on Saturday morning."
Yes dear, no dear, may I speak dear.......

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