Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following difficult birth!

[MrsGillerz]

Hello Dads,

Just wanted to see if anyone else has had a similar experience and how you dealt with it. My DH has developed Post Traumatic Stress following the very difficult birth of our son who is now 9 weeks old. The main symptom seems to be the 'intrusive thoughts' he keeps having about bad things happening to the baby - these upset him to the point where he is afraid to come home after work in case something bad happens or he hurts the baby in some way. These thoughts are totally irrational and he knows this, but they still cause him extreme stress and panic attacks.

Any similar stories would be appreciated. We both need some reassurance that this will get better and he can have a normal life and enjoy being a new Dad! He has been prescribed Citalopram by the doctor and is seeing a counsellor, but this doesn't seem to be helping so far.

Not a Dad, but until one comes along, here' my thoughts. I had PTSD and/or PND after the birth of DD. Poor DH may have had a rough time too, but didn't get a look in...

IME the main cause of my PTSD was anxiety, concern over how dependant this tiny being was on me but over time I realised just how resilient babies are and how nature has its way of making sure parents know what to do.

Talk to your DH. You could help him see how resilient, normal, strong your baby is and how you're not going to let anything happen. And then, arrange for some serious bonding time between Dad and baby, possibly while you're there, then eventually on his own. I made DH feed DD with skin-to-skin contact (no shirt, her with just a nappy). The warmth of her little body and the delight of feeling her feeding really helped him bond. Also the confidence that comes from knowing he could do that.

HTH

Thanks very much for your advice. Thinking about it, he does seem to have got worse since he's been back at work and seen less of baby. Perhaps some more Daddy bonding time will help.

this is a good site

I had/have ptsd following my dd's birth. Counselling would have been no good for me ie traditional counselling or cbt. I needed to talk to somebody about what actually happened who could answer my questions. I saw a consultant obs in the end who also offered birth trauma sessions. It was brilliant because I didn't need to talk about my feelings, I needed to talk about the birth, the technicalities, chances of it ever happening again etc. I needed to understand it before I could start to let it go and move on.

You can contact your hospital's PALS and they should offer some kind of debrief.

He could join MN too? There are a lot of us with similar experiences.

Congratulations btw. Are you alright?

Thanks a lot ShowOfHands. I'll book one of the 'Talk About' sessions they run at the hospital - wasn't sure if it would help to go over all the traumatic details again, but I guess like you say, we need to understand why things happened the way they did before he can move on. Will also recommend he joins MN.

I'll also show him that website - thankyou scurryfunge.

I'm fine BTW. Coping really well with DS and am stronger than I thought I could be. It's usually DH supporting me - not the other way round.