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Useless cr*p Christmas presents

5 replies

UrbanDad · 22/09/2010 13:29

All parents should know this instinctively, however just to make it clear, you should buy none of the following for children in primary or below:

  1. any "game" likely to result in someone winning and someone losing - yes, we know DCs have to learn to ride the disappointment rollercoaster and hold on, just not over Christmas, OK? We have plenty to argue about.
  2. anything containing vital small parts - these will either be collected up and recycled with the wrapping paper or go clattering up the vacuum cleaner with the pine needles - I assure you of this.
  3. anything which cannot withstand accidentally being stood on - the traditional crunch of footsteps at Christmastime at a house with small children has nothing to do with snow.
  4. anything for DC1 which is significantly flashier than for DC2 - this is the equivalent of doing tap dancing in flint-heeled shoes in a munitions factory.
  5. the "goat in the third world" card - young kids really don't get it and think they've been left out or (worse) that someone else has got their present - donate by all means and give a token present or give the card to older kids who can appreciate "opportunity cost" and can do the maths of an ipad vs subsistence, but for younger kids, frankly you're better not sending it all.
  6. anything noisy - OK, this is a selfish one - I just don't want to be woken up while DCs are unwrapping the presents...
OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Butterbur · 22/09/2010 13:32

Anything which requires 4 hours of assembly before it can be used.

Anything that requires an unusual size of batteries, which of course you didn't check when you bought it, and don't have in the house.

hackingandhewing · 22/09/2010 13:57

ROFL at "learn to ride the disappointment rollercoaster"

alison60 · 06/10/2010 13:42

Yeah, worst ever stocking filler I got for my DS was a kazoo. He discovered it at about 5 in the morning on Christmas Day, about 2 hours after I had got to sleep.

readywithwellies · 06/10/2010 14:33

Good tip is to open box and free the toy from all the wires etc and put batteries in, then reclose box. Dc gets toy asap,

DadInsteadofMum · 11/10/2010 16:45

"Anything which requires 4 hours of assembly before it can be used" - still have nightmares about sitting up all hours of Christmas Eve night with that impossible playmobil doll's house.

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