Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Dadsnet

Speak to new fathers on our Dads forum.

Original poster

Dads - when a man touches your back - does that mean he is flirting with you?

31 replies

PrincessElsa · 31/08/2010 05:28

This was one of the dads at my son's birthday party which I had to throw on my own as my OH was out of town. We had a good conversation at the party as we both come from the same area, I noticed he was in my space a bit, bit closer than one would normally stand, but I figured that that was just the way he was, he was very friendly. Then when the kids were going at the end he thanked me for the party and I felt him lightly touch my back. Tell me, do you think he is just a tactile person or do you reckon there was more to it?? He is married btw to a very beautiful wife who is way out of my league (he was very hot too lol). So maybe he was just being nice...

Just curious...I am hopeless at body language!

Thank you.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrincessElsa · 01/09/2010 06:35

Bump - come on guys - please?

OP posts:
FattyArbuckel · 01/09/2010 06:48

Calm down!

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/09/2010 07:19

it's a secret sign for wanting to start a torrid affair with you.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 01/09/2010 07:20

err not really.

woad · 01/09/2010 07:25

It sounds like an innocent friendly gesture, more reassuring than anything else.

I do not think he was coming on to you at all.

JudyPink · 01/09/2010 23:12

I think he was just being friendly and asserting that he was comfortable chatting on to you Smile

MollysChambers · 01/09/2010 23:22

Hope not. My aged family GP touched my back in the passing tother day Shock.

You say he's hot and so is his wife. You sure you're not secretly hoping he fancies you a teensy bit??

MaryMotherOfCheeses · 01/09/2010 23:23

Molly, nail / head.

OP why are you hoping he's flirting with you?

spinspinsugar · 02/09/2010 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pan · 04/09/2010 11:59

He wants you. Badly.

Butterbur · 04/09/2010 12:06

I've always thought that men who touch your back - and especially those that squeeze your shoulder, are just shaggers, sending out signals to everyone, hoping some poor sucker will bite.

ThatDamnDog · 04/09/2010 12:06

My boss touches my back when he hasn't seen me for a while. My midwife touched my back as I was leaving the other day.

I'd better watch out ...

3point14 · 05/09/2010 01:02

I think the problem is you thinking that people are out of your league. What sort of crap is that ?

hmc · 05/09/2010 01:08

LOl, lol, lol - I know I am not a dad so you aren't strictly asking me, but pleeeease!

Appletrees · 05/09/2010 01:31

Well everyone is having fun BUT got to say that in some circs it would mean exactly that.

But here I think Butter is on the nose. He's hot and women fancy him and he likes that and he's a bit lovie because it feeds it. I bet he looked you right in the eye with a special crinkle to say thank you as well. He was kinda flirting with himself really. Are you attractive? He probably likes to secure the approval of the most attractive women around, a sort of mild power thing.

In short, do not give it a second thought.

Gay40 · 05/09/2010 01:33

It means bugger all.

RedBlueRed · 05/09/2010 01:45

I'm one of those people who totally miss all the signals when I'm being hit on, I'm a source of amusement to my friends - but I'm fairly sure that a light touch to the back means nothing.
I often touch a person's arm (male or female) when in conversation and I think it is the same thing. It is certainly not a 'come on'.

However such a touch, no matter how platonic, can make me go weak at the knees if I really fancy him.
I suspect this is what you are experiencing - which is fine but just don't act on it or you will make a fool of yourself and embarass him.

mathanxiety · 05/09/2010 04:08

Appletrees you are exactly right here.

catherinedenerve · 05/09/2010 04:29

Oh, but what could have been...
But, there you are PrincessElla, Appletrees and CainInTheClog gave it to you straight.
Sorry.
Bit of a party popper.
I know the feeling.

Anyway, back to clearing up...

stubbornhubby · 09/09/2010 10:05

of course he was flirting with you!
lucky you.
Grin

TechLovingDad · 12/09/2010 16:05

What's the rule again?

Too low on the back is too forward, too high is too pally, in the middle is just right.

Or something.

As was said above, he's probably a massive flirt and loves getting reactions from women to prove to himself what a catch he is. Probably walked away from you, thinking "yeah, baby, Daddy's still got it". Grin

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 12/09/2010 18:45

PMSL at "flirting with himself" - I know exactly what you mean.

While we're here - what is it with giving colleagues/friends a brief shoulder massage while passing, chatting etc? I love it from DP but (although/perhaps because it feels lovely) I find it a bit weeeird from other people - and I'm usually pretty relaxed about personal space. Is it only me?

LostInZug · 14/09/2010 22:13

Depends on the setting. In this case it sounds deliberately flirtatious. It's also a dominance thing. That and the putting their hand on your shoulders. Ive had a boss who used to make those sorts of gestures at me. It made me want to twat him

TiggyD · 20/09/2010 09:50

Maybe he's just a tactile person? Or maybe you had a sweet wrapper stuck to your back and he was removing it?

TechLovingDad · 21/09/2010 02:53

There's a bloke at work (looks like the cowardly lion, hair and all) who comes up behind us and starts massaging shoulders. I hate that kind of thing, luckily he hasn't picked on me yet.