Do I spill the beans.

[onlyone]

Advice required please and how.

My other half has been having an affair with a very good family friend. I found out about 5 months ago and stuff is apparently progressing for them to move in together etc etc

She on the other hand ( have spoken to her once) is still at home with her partner and DCs, relationship if I believe, what I have been told before I found out is not good. However, she has not told him anything and is ignorant of the pending departure of her and kids.

I have been threatened that if I make any trouble with her partner then they will go for custody of my DCs and I will only get visitation rights so they can be brought up in a family!!

So how do I let him know what is going on with out being blamed and how do I tell him to check the paternity of the children, bank accounts etc - or do I just keep my mouth shut and wait for it all to unfold.

your other half is your ex?

Is that right? She is having an affair whilst living with her next partner and is preparing to move out. Is this guy who is her current partner a great friend of yours?

I don't know, best keep out of it maybe

Well, first of all, don't be afraid of losing your children and don't let anyone threaten you with that.

Why do you want to tell this person? Why do you want him to check paternity, bank accounts etc? Is he a good friend of yours, or are you wanting to have some revenge? Feel that things are all going smoothly for the people who have betrayed you? Or want to help this other person?

She is living with current partner, having an affair and planning to leave and move in with man having an affair ( my soon to be ex other half)

I like the guy and she intends taking him to the cleaners. She used to be a friend. He does not deserve that.

Are things going to smoothly for two people who have betrayed me - hell yes. Threatened me, treated me like shit and intend doing so in the future - yes. So an element of revenge - yes. But he does not deserve the hell she has planned for him and indirectly her kids do not deserve that either.

does she have dc with you and her current partner?

What do you think might happen if you tell him? Weigh up how he is likely to react and how things might pan out based on what you know of her character.

It's not easy.

If I liked her current partner, I would tell him probably, however I am not so sure it would be the wise thing to do IYSWIM

I agree - not wise, hence why I have not done anything so far.

I just do not know what I am going to say to him when he finds out.

I would tell him! You are rolling over and letting these two bastards walk all over you. Do him the biggest favour you can - tell him everything and tell him what they are threatening you with, too.

Why the hell should you be bullied as well as betrayed?

Call the police and ask what constitutes blackmail. Make detailed notes of all the threats they've made and everything you know about. Detailed notes about everything they've said. Print off emails. Go to CAB. What a nasty pair.