Calling all SAHD in windsor and Maidenhead

[cupcakeandcoffee]

Hello!
I am a mum of two (2 and 7 yrs) and a childminder. My husband is joining me soon as an assistant, and hopefully a childminder in the future.

If you are a stay at home dad then you will know that there is a strong social and support network for the ladies. How is it for you men?

I was wondering who was around in our area with children. Whether any men who be interested in meeting up occassionally for coffee and playdates during the day.

He is at work at the moment, not incapable of asking himself!!, I am just fishing for him as I keep saying "there must be loads of other male childminders/SAHD etc about, we just have to find them.

He is very comfortable around women and has lots of female friends, I just know that he is very sociable and would enjoy some male company too.

Anyone out there? We are near Windsor.

[DysonDad]

Hello.

I'm a full-time SAHD in South Oxfordshire, so a little outside of your "catchment area"! However we often visit a good friend of ours in Maidenhead which is only about half an hour away from here. If any South Oxon/North Berks dads want to get in touch please do.

How is it for us men? I don't know if my experience is typical or not, but I started out by going to a local "bumps and babies" group with another mum that we met through NCT classes when DS was 6 months old (taking over from my DW when she went back to work). Going along with someone you know who already attends these things makes it much easier. Once you've started out with one activity or group you get to learn about all the others. It's amazing how many organised play groups, singing sessions, etc, etc are not advertised, especially if they are not-for-profit.

I've found that most groups/activities have welcomed me with open arms - especially as I have no problem with joining in with the singing, reading stories, etc. I've even ended up running the under-5s play group I was introduced to by another SAHD - and although we don't do anything radically different it seems the word-of-mouth has flushed a few other SAHDs out of the woodwork and we now have 3 others as well as me who come regularly. If you don't mind joining in and don't have a problem talking to others then it's easy. We have had dads who come along and are obviously a bit shy and intimidated by the whole thing and we never see them again, which is a shame. If you are introverted then any social situation is going to be a bit of a struggle.

It does seem that as a full-time SAHD I'm in the minority, however, as most of the other men are working p/t and therefore opportunities to socialise are limited - most of the "pop over for a coffee" invites I get/give are from/to mums. These tend to be organised in advance as play dates, though - I don't seem to get the impromptu coffee and cake invites that are more prevalent amongst the women. Not sure why - I like cake, and I make great coffee!

DS is in pre-school Tuesdays and Thursdays all day and Friday mornings. This means I've got some child-free time during the week. Once all the chores are done it does mean there's a bit of a blank there socially. As a dad it seems a lot more difficult to make friendships with mums at the level where you can nip round somewhere for a coffee and a chat without it being based around a play date for the kids.

So in summary, the support network is there in terms of help and advice with issues you might have with your kids - all the mums I've met are quite at ease about discussing anything with me. The social side is more tricky - if you're having "one of those days" as a dad then finding a sympathetic ear can be more tricky, especially as your children get to pre-school age and older.

[BandMsDad]

Hi, I will soon become a SAHD (September 3rd - 30 work days including the bank holiday left) and have already begun checking out activities in the area that I can take No 2 Son to.

Fortunately, where we live (Coventry) has a great variety of play groups and good parks close to where we live. Already checked out the local library for a sing along session on a Thursday, Cheeky Chimps at the local sports centre plus a good few mums and tots sessions at local community centres. So the activities are out there is you dig a little.

Like DysonDad mentions, I reckon word of mouth will be your best buddy in the early weeks. Once the mums go home and report that a there's a SAHD taking junior to the various activities, I'm sure a few others will be brave enough to join in.

Good luck with it.

[ChildminderChappie]

Hi DysonDad & BandMsDad,

This is Cupcakeandcoffee's husband - thanks for your comments, advice & words of encouragement; nice to know that there are other chappies out there!

I know there's plenty to do in the area that my wife already attends, but it would be great for some of us locally to have a get-together when my wife goes to one of her coffee mornings!