Mums wants to buy DS character bike. I want to get him a decent quality one.

[Inthebluecar]

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this delicately?

Situation:
We are planning to get our almost 3yo DS his first pedal bike soon, he's been very confident on his balance bike for over a year now and has started asking for pedals like his sister.

His balance bike was an hand-me-down strider that has served him well. We feel having a light weight, well thought out balance bike has really helped him get to grips with it.

My mum wants to buy his first pedal bike, and has seen a character bike she thinks he'd like. And tbf he would absolutely love it because it does have some of his favourite characters on. But from a learning to cycle perspective we'd rather get him a decent quality bike.

So we thanked her for her generous offer, and explained we'd rather get him a good quality, well designed children's bike like a Woom. These are quite a lot more expensive so of course we would not expect my mum to pay for it. We said if she still wanted to get him a bike we'd pay the difference on the more expensive bike and she could still say it was from here, or we could seek out a second hand one.

My mum is really opposed to both ideas because:

a) she doesn't think a children's bike should be so expensive (I agree they are very expensive but I guess you're paying for the fact they're well designed, and they do hold their value well!)

b) she thinks DS deserves a new bike since his first bike was second (or fourth) hand. I really don't think he'd care that much, I don't think DD has noticed her previous two bikes were not brand new.

We learned the long way that heavy, novelty kid's bikes slow down learning to to cycle. Our DD only got to grips with balancing and then pedaling once we got her a Frog bike aged 4 so we'd rather just get a decent bike for DS from the get go.

Despite explaining this, my mum is set on getting the bike she's seen, she argues that DS is much better on a bike at this age than DD was (but I'm sure part of that is because he's had a good, lightweight balance bike 🙈). I feel it will be a waste of £130 if she gets the character bike, and might create some awkwardness when we end up getting another bike anyway.

I also suggested we could get stickers for his bike to customise it, but the idea went down like a lead balloon.

Please help!
Any suggestions on how to handle this?

When my DD was little (admittedly not as little as your kid), she had an Isla bike as her first proper bike (after mastering her balance bike). Her BF had a very cute but heavier bike and really struggled with it, crying a lot every time she fell off it, and not wanting to be on it on longer rides. Years later, the BF doesn't cycle at all whereas my DD cycles everywhere.

Could you translate the weight difference into what it would be for an adult, to help her understand why it would make such a difference? When I was looking at balance bikes for DD1, DD1 was about a fifth of my weight, so I remember comparing the 3/4/5 kg balance bike weights to 15/20/25 kg for me. (End result: DD1 and then DD2 rode a secondhand Islabikes Rothan, which will soon be sold on.)

I think you said your mum doesn't cycle, so perhaps compare it to something like a shopping trolley, the difference between pushing a half full one uphill or a full one, or something? Which is easier to stop/steer suddenly if you need to?

If DS is speedy, better quality brakes and ones he can actually use could also be an important argument.

My dc has absolutely no problem learning on a character bike and also loved it. I think you’re over thinking.

Could she get a character scooter instead? There's less difference between versions of scooters and you could really drum home how much he wants one when you talk to her?

I think a white lie here is the best approach rather than getting into what is better. Aren't you lucky that someone you know has handed down a bike for DS?!

Completely agree with all the lightweight bike advice above. We are woom fans. My kid was riding confidently within 30 mins of effort after his balance bike and he loves cycling. He is doing so well on hills and I'm convinced the light bike has really helped . When he stops it's easy to get going again . We got a woom 3 on vinted of all places ... Worth a look there too.

I found the difference between cheap scooters and decent micro scooters was just as much as with bikes - made the mistake of buying a cheap one for my second child thinking there couldn't be much difference and quickly had to replace it.

I think you should have another look at the bike club - I've just bought a new Frog for my DS who will be 4 soon. I was trying to get a second-hand one but (1) as you point out, they hold their value, so it wasn't much cheaper, and (2) he is a fussy little bastard and wants a specific colour, and I don't want to derail his cycling by getting the wrong thing. Anyway, I was offered it either to buy outright or on a lease and exchange basis, and doing the maths it only worked out marginally better to buy because I've got another DS who can inherit it later, and a Frog balance bike I can trade in when DS2 has finished with it. If there was only one child left to provide bikes for I think the leasing schemes can be great value.

It’s been almost a year…

why is AI posting on zombie threads? 🙄