9-yo North cycling

[Itsmecathy87]

Hi all, my first post!
My ds is 9 and still not cycling. We tried when he was much younger, but he never progressed beyond cycling with support wheels. I guess it also didn't help that he's quite tall, so he outgrew the trikes very quickly.
He's quite stubborn and says he doesn't want to try to learn (this was his opinion for a while now). I guess it would also be embarrassing for him if other kids in the neighbourhood saw him learn to bike. Partner is not bothered about it.
I feel like I'm failing him as a mother by not teaching an important skill.
Also, it might be relevant or not, but DS is suspected to be on the autism spectrum (still going through assessments, etc).
Has anyone experienced this and have any tips?

Sorry no experience but many local councils do bikeability schemes and it may help him to learn there rather than at home in front of his friends and neighbours. It is definitely a useful life skill.

I found cycling hard as a kid, but friends were all really encouraging and I got it eventually. It wasn't something that was optional, so I had to keep trying!

Why is it an important skill?

Clicked to see what north cycling was.
ASD would be part of this. We have several ASD chn at my school that can’t hop or swim etc as the coordination can be delayed. Can you take him somewhere private to practise?

Is there a local cycle club? Ours is very active and full of kind people, if you contact them they may help - my experience is by that age they find it harder to listen to parents instructions and better with a “teacher” type figure.

It is a cheap, efficient and non polluting form of transport that avoids parking problems and is good for your health.

Sorry, autocorrect turned NOT to North

Thanks, you've explained better than me :)

My son is autistic. His proprioception is poor and cannot tell where his limbs are if he can't see them. He's unstable on a trike and almost falls off exercise bikes. If he's suspected autistic could he be a little dyspraxic or have motor skills issues too? It's very common they are linked. Just a thought. Cycling is a great thing but some just can't. My son had an adult trike but still struggled so we gave up in the end. He got to the gym now which is helping his balance and coordination

My son is also autistic and doesn’t do particularly well at sports in general (hates PE) and didn’t learn till he was 7. In his case, although he’d had stabilisers for years he struggled whenever they were removed. The thing that did it was going to a grass field with a slight decline (so the peddling wasn’t so important) and got him to practice finding the balance point. Once he “got” it, he loved it and progressed really fast and within a few months was loving being taken down easy off road trails. It’s now the one sport he’s fairly good at. So I’d stick with it, perhaps get some lessons for him as I also think it’s a good, fun skill to have.

Thanks, I've checked the bikeability online, and nothing in our area. Nearest one is half hours drive away, and costs £75 for 2 hours lesson (a little steep I think). I will look into this and other options. As another poster said, might be better if teacher is not a parent

For lots of children with autism (particularly if comorbid with dyspraxia) learning to cycle on two wheels is very difficult. Some benefit from an adult trike instead as that rules out the balancing issues but is not very fashionable and possibly not the answer for a child in mainstream. I would just focus on him having a scooter instead and maybe have a last ditch attempt at a bike ability course.

Also whether it's a cheap and non polluting way to travel is less of a priority if his autism causes any level of processing delay, misunderstanding of danger or proprioceptive issues as it just becomes dangerous to the rider. You need to be able to process information quickly and make safe decisions when cycling and know that you body is going to do what you want it to.

It swimming but to give you hope my 12 year old couldn’t swim until two weeks. A week in the pool and she’s now a mermaid.

why not book a holiday where you can hire bikes where you use yours and see if he inquisitively has a try on it. That way he’s away from anyone that might see, there’s no pressure etc as you’re on a fun holiday.

Thanks, I will try to find something. I think you are spot on, it will be better if someone else teaches.
At school he listens to everything the teacher says as if it's gospel, but if I say the same thing before, it's not taken seriously (don't remember exact example 😂). So might be same with cycling

My dd is autistic and can ride a bike but it hasn't been easy to get her to learn. She did a couple of 1-1 lessons with a local woman who has a cycling skills business (specifically teaching children) and dd was so much more receptive to being taught by someone else. It was £20 a lesson if I remember correctly.

Where abouts are you based?

Dd also struggles with swimming too the same as other posters have mentioned!

My DD recently learnt age 6 (this is late where we live). She has physiotherapy because she has poor balance and some other issues (suspected to be on the spectrum) and her physio really worked with her on her cycling skills.

We as parents just couldn't make any progress with her because she would start to become hysteric and refuse. Her physio is a very astute woman that was unimpressed by DD's antics and managed a break through.

So my advice would be to try and find a person like that and see if that helps.

DD wants to cycle everywhere now and she's very good at it!

2 hours of bike ability might well be enough to get him going op I wouldn't dismiss that as an idea. I took mine to one in another town twice & still spent a lot of evenings is covid on a park near our house really getting him going. For some children it just takes a lot of time but it's a really worthwhile skill if you can get there x

I was very similar as a kid and a late learner to cycling. No one could teach me, it was like a mental block and I'd just shut down.

I eventually taught myself in my own garden. Our garden was tiny and had a slight slope, I just used the bike not pedalling to shuffle down the slope and walk back up, in hindsight this was me finding my balance, and then I naturally started to want to use to pedals and before long took it out, down an even bigger hill and off I went.

I'd take the pedals off the bike, making it a balance bike and let your kid use it as a sit on scooter for a while, then let them lead their development.

We were lent a tandem by Charlotte's tandems (for kids with disabilities). They are good people.

I am ND and didn't learn until I was 12. I taught myself in about 2 hours at the point where I actually wanted to be able to ride a bike. I struggle with judging the speed and distance of road traffic though, so I find cycling on roads terrifying, and have never learned to drive.

Thank you all for your advise. You've given me some very helpful tips, and information relating to ASD. There's still so much that I don't understand about the condition, or perhaps hadn't thought about different ways that it can affect my son.
I was late to start cycling myself, I think due to being scared of falling and hurting myself, or as @ToBeOrNotToBee maybe just a mental block. Then my class teacher organised a biking trip, which I wanted to partake so forced myself to learn quickly. I don't forsee my son getting motivation to try cycling, so I feel like I have to try something before it's too late.
I'm not looking for DS to cycle in the road once he learns it as car drivers are not always careful or courteous with cyclists. And I would just worry too much. There are some nice rural paths that we could go riding the bikes on, or cycle paths when on holiday.
There is a green area nearby with slight decline that we could use, or will try to travel to a queter park.