Relationship books that point out the differences between how the sexes think

[manchita]

Are they all crap or usefeul tools? Discuss

My left hand is male and my right female. What does that mean?

It means don't wipe your bum with your left hand

I scored very low on empathy and systemising - am I psychotic?

I am left brain dominant, meaning I am analytical, according to that quiz. Link says click to find out why artists are right brain dominant.

I am an Art teacher. Am I a freak?

Yes, you, me and anyone else who doesn't fit into Simon Baron-Cohen's neat little picture of gender difference.

DH and 15 y/old DS score quite atypically on the quiz but I assume that is due to prolonged exposure to me or maybe that they are just nice non-sexist-pig kind of guys (also due to my influence??!)

However, there is no getting away from the fact that some of these books highlight some very profound differences re how men and women think. Some of the studies have been done over many years and at great expense and you can't really ignore all of that which the results suggest. What you do about the info is up to you but understanding can only help a relationship longterm. I'm not saying adopt the attitude that "men are biologically designed to spread their seed far and wide so it's really not their fault that they have affairs" (!).. just perhaps bear in mind that men and women have different ideas and understanding about things, some of which are based on biology.

I used to balk no end at generalisations about men and women and spout stuff like "people are just people regardless of gender.." but the longer I live (and remain married!) I can see the differences myself. We just DON'T think the same; tis obvious.

Yeah but the science in many of them is crap, methodologically and in terms of sample size. The fact that it has taken a long time and cost money doesn't really help.
The Deborah Cameron book The Myth of Mars and Venus explains what is wrong with a lot of the studies.
A lot of them don't control for power differences - usually the men in the studies have been more powerful than the women, but when you swap over the power relations, the results swap over too (so what they are claiming is typically 'male' is more likely to be typically 'what more powerful people do'.
One of the most interesting things is where she shows how the views about what is typically 'male' and 'female' changes across time and across cultures - they're neither as stable nor general as these books generally claim.

I have just realised how badly worded my thread title is- appologies to all pedants

I think that while it is true that there are fundamental differences between males and females ( I have a ds and a dd and they have been v different from the outset-as regards what interests them and the manner in which they play) I can't help but think that most of these books are nonsensical