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For Davros: 'The Special Mother' (An updated version)

7 replies

coppertop · 13/09/2004 11:04

I visualise someone with a particularly evil sense of humour hovering over earth, deciding which child should be placed with which mother.

"This woman is particularly squeamish. Let's send her John. He's rather partial to producing works of art using his own poo. This should be good for a laugh, watching her trying to clean it up just as her mother-in-law drops in unannounced. I can just hear the screams now!"

"And this one has the organisational skills of a dead gnat. Let's send her Matthew. He likes his life to be run with military precision. Every day will be like boot camp. And for that added twist, let's make sure that every appointment she makes to see a medical professional gets cancelled at the last minute. It should be fun watching her trying to explain that one to Matthew while he's screaming the house down."

"Aha! Now I notice that this particular young woman needs at least 8 hours sleep to get through the day. She never gets up before 11am on weekends. Why don't we send her Simon? He only needs 4 hours sleep a day and requires constant supervision when he's awake. For that extra 'something' why don't we surround her with lots of passers-by and relatives who will tell her how their own little darling has slept through the night from birth. The relatives can also add that she just needs to organise herself better."

His assistant asks tentatively, "Aren't you forgetting something, sir?"

"Oh yes! Send them all a free mirror so that they can see their stress-induced wrinkles and those rather attractive bags under their eyes."

OP posts:
Twiglett · 13/09/2004 11:07

message withdrawn

Davros · 13/09/2004 15:03

Very good, think I'll add it to my battery, err I mean repertoire!

kalex · 13/09/2004 15:19

LOL CT

Jimjams · 14/09/2004 22:20

Now this could be good CT- much better. This would defintely cheer me up! This should be expanded- your version is far better than the original CT.

"and I notice one woman who is of a praticularly nervous disposition, I'll send her Michael who needs to be retrieved from ridiculously high places several times a day.

And that woman over there, the one who has ambled through life and never even run for a bus- send her Thomas - he can run like the wind and has a particular fascination with cars and running into roads.

And finally - for that one, the prim and proper one, who looks down her nose at her neighbours, who is looking forward to being so proud of her well behaved children and superior parenting skills, send her James. He thinks he's a dog and frequently strips off in the garden and cocks his leg. Make sure he's a good artist as well so he can draw life size dogs on her dining room walls"

Davros · 15/09/2004 09:47

PMSL!

coppertop · 15/09/2004 09:51

ROFL! This is definitely beginning to sound a lot more likely than the original!

OP posts:
fio2 · 15/09/2004 09:53

ROFL!

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