Here is the real entry for this exercise.
No title just yet.....
In a normal situation, I am calm and I?m collected,
I get on with my daily life; deal with the unexpected.
I go about my business, my opinions are unspoken
I would hate to think my words could leave someone upset or broken.
But there?s a funny breed of folk: the opposite, antithesis,
Who freely speak to any one, tell them what their opinion is.
The subject doesn?t bother them, the topic doesn?t matter,
They tell you what they think and then indulge in idle chatter.
?So do you like my carpet?? you could ask to Mrs B.
?Brand spanking new, I liked a few but this one?s right for me!?
Cue snotty cursory glances, across the floor her fingers skirt,
Then with disgust, she simply must make comment on the dirt!
Then there?s another type of folk, in some ways more amusing,
They like to be one step ahead of you when you?re enthusing.
?My son played his first football match,? you beam and beckon nearer,
?That?s nice my dear. When Josh was two, he scored like Alan Shearer.?
The most infuriating are those with a ?perfect? child.
The ones who settle themselves to sleep leave me to feel beguiled.
You ask her: ?What?s your secret? He sleeps of his own accord??
?My god,? she says, ?You heathen! Brush up on your Gina Ford!?
I beseech you, fellow mothers, to join in with me today,
To make a pledge that we allege that everything we say
Will be carefully considered and with hands upon our hearts,
We will have a ritual burning of those blasted centile charts.