*****Please read *******

[MwaHaHaMhamai]

Please read this and tell me what you think, I'm involved in a beginners creative writing group and we have a public reading (My first and probably my last!) on Thursday night. I've been so busy with going back to college that I didn't get a chance to write anything so I came up with this.
Ps
If you heard this would you think it was cr*p? I'd be happy with it's ok as I'd rather not read than be laughed off the stage!

Oh great, my first reading
What in the name of God can I write about?
What will have them glued to their seats and their ears pinned back, hanging onto my every word?

What adoring prose can I enchant them with or what wit can I crack that will have them rolling in the aisles? or maybe some enchanted verse will have them enraptured or in awe of my profound musings.

Perhaps I could wax lyrical or lament and lure with my literary genius, invite my audience to accompany me on a journey of tale telling.

Alas so many words, so little time, so on that note, I'm just going to head discreetly towards the wine/cheese/nibbles and slink quietly away before the games up.

I think that is good Mhamai, lighthearted and amusing and well constructed.

Have a couple of glasses of wine tonight and the thoughts will come to you, that normally does it for me.

I think its good

I'm not sure about the phrase 'adoring prose' though

and shouldn't it be 'what witticism'

you might want to consider if you're using the first person narrative to make the audience more intimate so rather than 'them' .. consider using 'you'

I HAVE NO CREATIVE WRITING SKILLS AT ALL BTW .. BUT I DO LIKE TO CRITIQUE

I've just been so snowed under with bloomin essays for college and I guess I'm using that as a safe option, they can hardly pan me for writing about what will I write but I'm taking by your reply red that your saying in a very gentle diplomatic way that it's a bit kak
Seriously I'm not looking for the booker prize, I suppose what I'm saying is, would I get away with it. Thanks Carmenere for the vote of confidence. Tbh having doubts about going in case I fall off the stage, fart on stage anything on stage and end up making a t*t of myself!

um, instead of desperately writing something aimed only at the reading, why can't you write a short short story in the style of someone like David Gaffney or a small series of haikus?

you've time before Thursday to really craft some tiny small gem - you don't have to write something especially for the reading, but as a way of actually writing

I mean what are you going to do with the piece you have already written afterwards? It's hardly the start of anything, is it?

Oh twig my pedantic hero, I could kiss you! In fact I will Mwah Mwah! xx

I know Capp, it certainly isn't but I suppose I was looking at an easy option, thanks for your suggestions. I'm pretty crap at Haiku's tho

wasn't trying to be harsh - I just think an event like this is a good spur to actually starting to think about your writing, rather than coming up with something just in order to get through it

am whoop-ass personal trainer type

I'm liking that David Gaffney! thanks for the link.

euwww .. get your slobbery irish face off me