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Victims of crime

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How can I support my partner after she disclosed childhood assault?

1 reply

LedKing · 16/03/2026 15:03

I’m 40 M and my partner 50FM have been together 20 years and are happy.

When she was about 14 she was grabbed by a stranger and she thinks he wanted to do the unthinkable but she managed to fight him off and got away. A couple years later though unfortunately someone else wasn’t that lucky and the worst happened and he went to prison.

my partner recently had a bad nightmare about the experience and was really upset but she said a little more happened then what she actually told me. She was dragged in a park and he touched her in various places before she got away, I asked if the worst happened and it’s not her fault if he did but she said no and tried to downplayed it. I said it’s a pretty bad assault and traumatic but after a chat she felt better.

what’s bothering me is although her parents are not together she has a strained relationship with both and her dad isn’t very supportive and plays favourites with the other kids. I’m wondering if she’s kept this bottled up for so long is this why she doesn’t get on with them? She never wanted children which doesn’t bother me but I’m wondering if this is a factor and s*x she really isn’t into which for a while was a problem for me but eventually we found a compromise.

I don’t want to push her but I think she should see a professional therapist about it and try to talk to her parents about it but she just wants to forget about it. I said to her look I won’t push you but clearly this has effected you more than I realise and you shouldn’t of kept it to yourself.

do I leave it alone or not?

OP posts:
UniversityofWarwick · 16/03/2026 20:06

Leave it alone and certainly don’t sights she speak to her parents about it. She knows how they’ll racer, you don’t.

I was perused one summer by a bloke in a position of authority. My mum thought this was hilarious, and, at one point, made sure I was alone with this guy so he could put his hands all over me. I’m sure if I mentioned it to her today she would, once again, laugh at how funny it was.

Therapy might be useful but don’t push it. It can bean awful experience.

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