TW: domestic violence, abusive relationships.
A couple of weeks ago, a slightly distant family member who I didn't even know was in a relationship texted me out of the blue, excitedly telling me she'd got engaged.
I texted her mum, my cousin, who I am somewhat closer, sending my congratulations. To my absolute horror, my cousin told me that she can't support the relationship, and in fact hasn't officially been told about the engagement. My cousin says it's an abusive relationship, with violence from the partner towards her daughter. I don't know any more details.
The daughter is now messaging me to ask about dietary requirements so she can invite me to her wedding.
Obviously I can't support the relationship either. But how do I reply to the daughter? How can I express the right kind of support for her, while standing against the relationship?
Daughter knows I am generally in touch with her Mum and hasn't mentioned anything at all about family trouble, or in fact any kind of trouble. They're all several hours away from me so I can't drop by for a chat.
Would be so grateful for advice.