Trauma following robbery

[SamH1988]

Hi,

I've never posted on here before but I just want some impartial input.

On 31st Dec 24, our home was broken into via the back patio door. The kitchen was rummaged through and the intruders made their way to the front of the house where they removed my husband's keys from the front door. Car and house key. They then stole the car from our drive. We (myself, husband, 12YO and 6YO) were all asleep upstairs and didn't hear a thing.

After almost a full week, I am a complete nervous wreck. Neither myself or my husband are sleeping properly. We're staying downstairs until 2-3am. Our 6 YO is completely emotional and won't even be in her room on her own.

I'm jumping and every noise and my entire body is trembling almost constantly. I have flashbacks of what happened running through my head all of the time and I have a constant headache. My heart is racing. I can't eat properly and vomit regularly.

I keep trying to calm myself and remind myself that nobody was hurt. It's a car. It's fixable but I have no idea how to move forward from this.

I've booked a doctor's appointment for Wednesday. Is it pathetic to take time of work? The police/insurance could ring any time and I can't use my phone when working. I also work a very high pressure job and I'm terrified I'm going to break down or lose my temper at something trivial at work.

If you've got this far, thanks for reading.

I am so sorry this happened to you. To help I will give you some fact and advice.

Burglary is so difficult as it feels so so personal but it is never intended that way.

The criminal who commit this crime tend to avoid confrontation and you will be one of many victims.

If it helps every burglar suspect I have dealt with has been dependant on drugs and about 9stone wet through.

They have broken in for your vehicle.

Ways to prevent burglary:
CCTV
Nosiey stones on pathway
Not having a high powered car
Sensor lights
Leaving lights on and not leaving windows open

Link in with your local policing pcso and they can help target harden your property.

However, I feel you need some support with trauma - link in with your gp for counselling and research victim support in your area

Fwiw I leave my keys next to the door so that if we get burgled they will grab the keys and steal the car - that's all they want

Criminals of this nature are opportunists and although it feels deeply personal it is not intended in this way. I hope that helps

Thank you very much. That's a really useful, pragmatic response. I appreciate it.

I’m so sorry this happened - this exact thing happened to me. I live alone and I saw them take the car at about 2:15am on 31st too - I was screaming at them banging on my window.

I don’t have any advice but you’re not alone and I feel the exact same way 😔 x

And I agree with PP - I’m glad the car keys were on show so they didn’t come upstairs. I was awake and I dread to think of what could’ve happened. I’d just let my dogs out and gone back upstairs. They didn’t hear anything and one is a Doberman!! It felt like a fever dream and it’s only just hit me properly.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can only imagine how you feel.

I had someone try to steal my car off my drive a few weeks ago. In broad daylight. I managed to stop the theft and he ran off. I was very lucky but it was awful. I have small children too.

I was a mess for a while. It's such an invasion of your property and a place you're supposed to feel safe. I can't imagine them breaking into the house. As above they will not return most likely. They have got what they broke in for. The car will be gone now.

I hope the police and insurance are being supportive. You can ask the police for support for a victim of crime support group there are some available.

Absolutely take time off if you think you need it. You will be In shock.

I had Acute Post Traumatic Stress after being in / witnessing a fatal RTC, this sounds very similar to what you have. GP advised lots of naps during the day to help process it and to move out of high adrenaline mode and back into your normal state. Acute PTSD lasts less than a month opposed to 'normal' PTSD.

Will Victim Support be in touch? I had a less serious incident of twats donkey kicking my door at midnight over several occasions and the police filed it as harassment and criminal damage and victim support contacted me via email 4 days later, I didn't need their services but you should seek them out or take them up on their help.

Completly understand how you feel OP, except once they broke in we think the dog disturb them. I slept downstairs for at least a week and jumped everytime the outside light came on. It's just made me more paranoid about security, changed all locks to anti snap, padlock for the patio doors, chain and lock the side gate every night, and we have steering locks on the cars and keys in Faraday pouches. I hope in time you feel settled.

I'm so sorry this happened. Not quite the same situation but a few years ago I had an attempted carjacking on my car whilst I was in it, a group of thugs surrounded it and tried to break into the boot with a crowbar and taser me through the drivers window! I was an absolute mess after, I lived alone at the time and my god I couldn't sleep, I would tremble every time I had to get in and out the car, I went from extremely confident to a nervous wreck! It helped me to put measures in to try and prevent it happening again, so for you I would suggest a ring camera on both sides of the house, sensory lights either side, and a burglars alarm where you have to enter a code and will go off if either doors are opened. It takes time but I can say that whilst I'm still vigilant, it's been a long long time since I worried about it happening again. I can totally imagine how you're feeling and hope you start to feel better about the whole situation soon x

I'm so sorry this happened to you.

Agree with victim support. I've had contact with them in the past and the lady I spoke to was so lovely and helpful.

But if you are not mentally well enough to work then of course it's ok to get signed off sick.

So sorry to read this op and to the others who have experienced such trauma.

You've had some great advice on this thread so far. When I was about 10, we returned home (me and my parents) to find our kitchen window had been taken out and we had been burgled - then we heard them running down the stairs (we were in the back garden) and watched them break their way out of the front room window to escape, and it was truly horrifying. I would jump at every single noise and was obsessed with looking out the window to see if I could see anyone.
I didn't have any sort of counselling (it was the 90s if this applies).

I'm 34 now and in my own home and I'm still panicky. It may help your daughter especially to speak to someone to process it.

Be kind to yourself

Thank you all so very much. I'm not sure how to respond to individuals - I usually just lurk and read posts on here - but I can't put into words how grateful I am for you taking time to help me. For those who have suffered various traumas, I am so sorry that you experienced them. For those who have offered suggestions about support, thank you ❤️

I'm sorry this happened to you.

1 week is no time at all to process what happened and start to recover. It will take a bit of time.

I was the victim of an attempted online crime which was minor compared to your experience. I was jumpy and on edge for several weeks. I played it over and over in my head and had actual nightmares - something I hadn't really had since childhood.

It did gradually fade though. I think your brain has to take time to think about it all and when it's done doing that you move on to the recovery stage.

Is there any victim support group you can join? I found just talking to others about it very helpful.

I find it helpful to understand the context for the suspect of the crime - not to minimise your experience at all. It is utterly violating being burgled - but to try to understand that it wasn't planned and personally targeted.

Most burglars are have drug issues and some are in criminal gangs who will target certain cars to sell / commit crime in. They don't see you as a person / consider your feeling and if they do they think you will be ok and be able to claim on insurance.

You will be one of many houses targeted that night - you did nothing wrong and actually you can take measures to make yourself a harder target / less of an easy option but invariably this was out of your control.

Take time to process it, talk about it and try to remember most people are nice decent honest people (it's easy to loose trust in the world)

We were burgled and our car was taken from the driveway while we were at work a couple of years ago (commute by train). The patio door was smashed. We weren't in the house when it happened but it was still very unsettling. To this day I sleep with something heavy under the bed that I could lob at an intruder.

We got motion-activated cameras fitted afterwards, which give me some comfort that there are no bad actors around the house. But as others have said it will have been random by some pond scum who don't want to work for a living. (Can you tell I am still angry about it?)

I really feel for you. it must have been frightening being asleep and people robbing you downstairs no wonder you feel scared.
I would suggest asking at the Police station if they have a crime prevention officer, they can give you sound advice on locks lights etc to help even simple measures like planting prickly hedging sensor lights and even crunchy gravel can help you
see your Dr he may be able to refer your counselling or give you something short term.
Have you been told of anyone like Victim Support who may help you?
sending best wishes to you all