Advice

[Sammy019]

Hi

I'm new here so my partner was drunk few days ago and he rang police on me saying he wanted me out of his flat I knew he didn't mean it as with his mental health it's difficult and he said while on phone to police that I'm going to kill you and police came and asked if I wanted to press chargers I said no I want everything dropping he's just drunk he doesn't mean it he's never hurted me or done anything to me in the past I told police multiple times that I don't want to press anything and I want everything dropped and now he's in currently on bail and he's in court tomorrow for an dvpo against him I don't agree with any of it and didn't ask for it at all can anyone offer me advice on what i can say or do as I miss him so much and just want to be able to see and speak to him sorry it's long I'm just struggling

Police can press charges

Are you playing this down?

Yes I didn't want any of the charges in first place I said multiple times I don't want to press anything he's just going through an rough patch and I'm so scared if this order gets put in place as I know he'll fall into an deep depression episode and he has an issue with self harm so I don't want it all I just want it to stop

You are making excuses for him. The police are well versed in this kind of thing and wouldn't take it this far unless they are sure they will get something from it. For public protection if nothing else

The police ask the CPS about charges.

It isn't up to the victim.

How often does he do this? Would you say he's an alcoholic?

The police only have your best interests at heart. You need to stop making excuses for your boyfriend.

How long have you been together, Sammy?

Are you saying that you refused to leave his house, to the point he felt the need to call the police? He then threatened to kill you - to the police?

This has gone too far op, you need to get out. It sounds like you're both really bad for eachother.

Whatever you do, please don't consider bringing kids into this mess!

To answer an few of the questions he's never done anything like this before he's getting help for his drinking he doesn't drink everyday he's a binge drinker when he drinks he sometimes struggles to stop I refused to leave his flat yes then he phoned police and while on phone to police he threatened to kill me I couldn't leave him that night as he already self harmed and was bleeding

If you were in danger from this man, the police were right to arrest him.

And binge drinking which he can't control means he's an alcoholic.

I don't feel I was in danger at all I felt perfectly safe I told the police that I know domestic violence is real but for me I don't think this was domestic violence I think it's just abit ridiculous of how the police are overreacting to something i didn't agree to I posted on here just to see what other people thought

Any kids in the house?

And the knife/implement for his self harm?

The police clearly thought that you were in danger, OP.

Yes for his self harm was an shaving razor blade he didn't have it in his hand when he made the treat I was trying to stop his arm from bleeding

No kids no we don't have any

His self harm is not your problem to manage or resolve.

Do you think the police did the wrong thing?

In my opinion yes he's never done anything like this its very out of character for him many will say I'm defending him he hasn't been in a good place for ages he's been off his medication for his mental health for whatever reasons I'm not sure why myself but the police handle it very wrong I know they take stuff like this seriously I understand that but I feel as everything I said wasn't listened to and they aren't think about his mental health or mine it's affected me massively not been able to have contact I haven't ate properly I'm barely sleeping we both have health issues and we both rely on each other to help one on other he said something in the spare of the moment he's harmless he'd rather hurt himself than anyone else

His self harm with you around is also a form of abuse

You can surely see this is a very unhealthy relationship

Mental health is no excuse or reason for special consideration by the police when it comes to this