Disclosure of sexual abuse - help please

[PleaseMakeItNotBeReal]

Trigger warning:

DC has just disclosed sexual abuse. They are 5 😢

I think I am in shock and really need a handhold.

Please can someone talk me through what will happen now. It’s bank holiday weekend, should I call the police tonight after they’re in bed or wait till Tues.

Is it ok to speak to people in real life about this? should I keep quiet until I’ve spoken to the police.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/
Hi OP. The NSPCC is a good charity to turn to for advice while you’re waiting for help from Police and social services.
Is your child is safe this weekend (no contact going to happen with the person who has abused them)? If the abuse has come from someone living inside your home then I’d say you really need to either go away for the weekend with your child or call police tonight.

As above, the NSPCC can help but please call the police now.
so sorry for your little one.

I'm so sorry. Police asap and obviously no leading questions for your little one. I'm so so sorry.

Police NOW. Don't wait x

Police now, it doesn't matter what day of the week it is.

Yes they are safe. It’s just me and DC here, we haven’t seen this person for some time.

I will call the police as soon as they’re in bed.

I can’t believe this is happening. Life just gets worse and worse.

DC has an overactive imagination and sometimes tells lies but I don’t see how they could have made this up. There are some details that they couldn’t have known about if it hadn’t happened. I just really wish is weren’t true.

Children don't lie about sexual abuse.

Please ring the police now. I can't imagine what you're going through I'm so sorry.

Could you also look into counselling for DC?

Oh my goodness, how hard for you.

police now, definitely.

How are you doing? Not good obviously, but it’s such an overwhelming piece of news.

Do it now ….don’t want childrens services saying you delayed …..you should contact childrens services out of hours number…..chances are your child will likely have a forensic medical examination some time tomorrow ….,there will be a strategy meeting and it will go on from there…..don’t leave it….they will ask when your child told you ….. hope you have good support around you

I'm so sorry this has happened to your poor DC.

Write down everything your DC said word for word while it's still fresh in your memory so you can pass on to the police.

You poor thing.and poor dc. There will be a safeguarding lead at school who will know how to deal with this, do you have an emergency number or email for school? Or any out of hours contact details for school so someone can get the relevant person to contact and help you. Unless this has happened at school of course.

https://www.police.uk/pu/contact-us/rape-sexual-assault-or-another-sexual-offence/
If you’re in the UK it looks like you can report online.
You could also call 101 - they’ll be able to talk your through what to do now and what will happen in the next few days.

Thinking of you... x

Don't look at counselling, while an investigation is ongoing they won't be allowed to talk to a counsellor.

We have been though a child sexual abuse case with my DSDs (perpetrators went to prison). They disclosed to me, it's awful.

Ring the police now, and i know it's really hard, but if you can don't speak to anyone in real life in detail before you have spoken to them. Write down the fact as your DC has told you tonight, so you have them clear - it's very, very overwhelming.

They'll probably arrange an interview PDQ. With the girls, they were interviewed in a police house, not a station, which is a much calmer, less scary environment by specially trained officers. Theres toys etc, and with the younger one I was allowed to be present (they were 8 and 13 at the time). Older one I was in the next room and she was allowed breaks to come out to me.

If you'd like to message me, please feel free. Stay strong, you've got this xx

Im so sorry @PleaseMakeItNotBeReal i also think you should phone the police. Don’t expect anything to be quick afterwards it can take a few days for them to get things in line. We phoned a police detective friend of ours and he sorted where to go next for us. If you know anyone that might make things easier. Mind yourself.

Thank you everyone. The police have now been and it’s in their hands now.

I am still really really hoping it’s not true. It’s difficult to get a straight story so I’m going to try my best to put it to one side until the police can investigate.

I’ve been told not to speak to anyone about it while they’re investigating, that’s going to be really tough.

I am so so sorry this is happening to you. I would advise you speak to a trusted person in real life. I know it’s late but anyone who cares about you and your child will not mind. Sending you a hand hold x

Sorry, I reacted to your first post. So pleased you have reported and the police have been x

So you can get counselling as can your dc through a charity (they are all local so the police should refer) if they haven't ask for a CHISVA
These charities provide support for the whole family especially the parents
Counselling is allowed but not talking about the incident but on the emotions and support around
For what it is worth small children are incredibly resilient and you are doing well

You need to ring the Police. Depending on what your child has said they may need forensically examining at the sexual abuse examination centre and your child’s clothing that they were wearing at the time of the assault will need seizing. A trained officer will come and see your child and see if they make a disclosure to them. If they do, they will arrange to do a video interview with your child. The Police will also take a first disclosure witness statement from you.

It’s really important you don’t discuss this with anyone (friends or family). You can tell the school. You might find that the Police want you to keep your child off school tomorrow.

The Police investigator will also arrange for support for you and your child, via the sexual assault forensic examination centre.

It’s also really important that you don’t question your child about it whilst the investigation is ongoing.

How is everything going @PleaseMakeItNotBeReal?