Today, I am sharing my story as part of my journey to heal. I have been a victim of sexual, emotional, and physical abuse at the hands of a manipulative and violent man. It took me a long time to come to terms with what happened to me, to recognize the red flags, and to find the strength to speak out.
I met this man in a local pub in Croydon.m and from the beginning, there were warning signs. He was always available, had no job, and eventually over time I quickly learned had a severe drinking problem. He would talk about his ex-partner in a way that made me uncomfortable, comparing her to me and using her as a tool to manipulate and control me. The abuse started slowly but escalated quickly. He would punch, pull my hair, spit at me, kick me, but his favorite form of abuse was strangulation. It was a terrifying and dehumanizing experience.
He would Initiate sex after he had subjected me to a beating. Too tired and in pain I would allow him to just to stop the abuse.
I was black and blue, both physically and emotionally, but I was too scared and too ashamed to speak out. It took me a long time to realize that I was not alone, that he had a history of abuse towards women, and that I needed to take action to stop him from hurting others.
He had no friends, he would belittle and bully me if I tried to speak to mine. He loved to isolate me so I couldn’t gather the strength to leave.
He had one relative he would speak to. But unbeknownst to him his relative would speak to me and warned me to stay away. I was not the only women he has done this to.
It later came to light this man had a history of a abuse towards women and even his family members that spanned over a decade
I made the difficult decision to accept his admission of guilt (he went guilty for strangulation and abh) and not attend the trial, a decision that I now regret. But I have fought tooth and nail to ensure that he serves the full extent of his prison sentence. I have pushed for justice, for accountability, for the safety of other women who may fall victim to his abuse.
I want to urge all women out there to trust their instincts, to recognize the red flags, and to speak out if they suspect their partner is violent. It could be something as small as an argument or a push, but it is never okay. Don't be like me, don't wait until it's too late.
I am doing better now, stronger and more resilient. The experience has changed me, but it has also given me a fierce determination to succeed and to prevent others from suffering the same fate. I may never fully trust a man again, but I will not let this experience define me. I will rise above it, I will thrive, and I will continue to fight for justice and for the safety of others.
To the man who abused me, (originally from mitcham south London) who hurt me, who thought he could get away with it – know that your actions have consequences. You may escape justice now, but you will live the rest of your life knowing that your true nature has been exposed. You will live a sad, lonely, unfulfilled life, while I will continue to grow, to heal, and to inspire others to speak out and seek help. You are a sadistic sad loser. You project your sad little insecurities on women, draining them of anything good. But you can’t run forever.
You can’t out run evidence and a criminal conviction. it’s there for all to see. Your family know it. Your friends know it. The mother of your child knows it.
your child will know it.
I hope that my story will serve as a warning to others, as a beacon of hope for those who have suffered in silence, and as a reminder that we are stronger than we know. Together, we can break the cycle of abuse, we can find the courage to speak out, and we can heal. We are survivors, we are warriors, and we will not be silenced.
please do a Clare’s law application if you ever think there maybe a chance your partner is abusive or is hiding something. Use your gut..your instinct. Know your worth.
don’t ever let a man lay his hands on you.
I can’t give a description of the man that did this as if he ever find this, he could try to raise defamation charges against me.
but I will tell you, he is mixed race. Grew up in mitcham south London. Is probably about 33-34 now. He will lie to you. Speak about his past as a footballer. Has one child.
sorry that’s all I can give you.