I'll just get right in to it. From the 7 years we lived together middle 5, were years in which my BF was very abusive physically. Back then I wasn't smart or reasonable enough to leave him. Meanwhile got pregnant with my little one, and I thought maybe, he will change his ways in some way. Which was very silly. So we did stay together through pregnancy and a little less than a year after my son's birth, till about a year ago. During this sensitive time he had aggressive outbursts on numerous occasions. He chocked me while I was pregnant and threatened me with a knife next to my neck after I gave birth, over some silly things, like not cleaning the house during the day or not washing the dishes, which I simply had no time for at some days. During my delivery he would chat to his sister on the phone while I was crying out of pain, and he would say to her how weak I am and how much I'm crying for no reason. Needless to say all of this affected me mentally. Every tijme I'd say I want to separate he would get mad, but he won't be happy wiyh me either. He would threaten me that he'd kill himself I leave. You get the picture. Well, after DS was born and going through all of this, my mother instinct kick in and I knew I had to leave. So we did. We had to move out from our flat anyway, so I told him we'll move separately. I found a little studio flat for me and DS, nothing fancy, but we had a peace of mine. I didn't want to take him away from his dad completely because, frankly he was just bad to me, never to our baby. So we'd visit him sometimes, or he would visit our boy. But the arguments never stop, till this day. He would always escalate it and say that I took away his son and I broke our family. He would blame me for coming too rarely to his and complain when he'd have to travel to mine. Eventually he got kicked out of his room, because he got in a phisical fight with his flatmate. I took him for couple of days because he jad nowhere to stay& I found him another room on a great price and location close to us, as my friend was just moving out from there. I got him the deposit money, as he didn't have that and I really wanted him to go. He complained I got him in debt and the place was not to his liking. He just wanted to stay with us. Anyhow soon enough he got kicked out of his job then and had no way to pay his rent.Had to leave the place. I as the mother theresa I am didn't want to leave my son's dad on the street so I took him in. It's been tough because I am doing everything in my power to avoid any type of phisical contact with him, while he tries to get closer to me, hug me and kiss me, and then get upset when I don't want that. Anyhow eventually he found a good paying job, almost 2 months in. I really want him to move out and leave us live our life away from all his negativity. But he's on and off. He says he wants us to be a family and regrets all his past behaviour. I don't believe that. But even if I did, I wouldn't put my son at risk. So when I say I want him move out, he says I want him to kill himself. He says I've ruined him and whatnot. I just don't know whats the best way to part ways. Do I have to go to court? I do have pictures or after he has hit me. I have a recording of him threatening me as well. It's a fact he can't keep a job for a long time. Also got witnesses who have seen him be aggressive. How mucch is this going to cost me? do I have to file for to be the sole parent of my son? Do I need a restraining order? Do I have to go to the police, even though it's been a while since the last time he have been physically aggressive. Do I have to cut all contact with him? Do I have to do the same for my son? Do I let him see his dad? How do I get him to move out of my flat?
I know that's a lot of questions but I really need some support or just opinions on this from people who are unbiased.