Murdered children since 2020

[Lwrenagain]

I'm not going to trigger warning with this being posted in crime.
I'm unsure if I've posted here before, so hi to regulars.

Last night a thread, I sincerely hope a troll, really triggered me. It was in AIBU. It was essentially a mother wanting advice about a new relationship with a man with history of DV, if you missed it. It was more complicated but since the thread has been removed, I'll not go into detail.

It kept me up for much of the night and I ended up writing a list of children who've died at the hands of parents/care givers, since 2020.
Obviously many more prior, but they all seemed one off shock cases.
(Baby Peter/Victoria Cilmbe levels of notoriety.)

Teddie Mitchell
Logan Mwangi
Finley Boden
Lillie Hanarahan
Harvey Borrington
Star Hobson
Pavinya Nithlyakuma
Nigish Nithlyakuma
Dylan Freeman
Kaylea Titford
Alijah Thomas
Lola James
Leiland James Corkhill

I can't remember the names, but I'm pretty sure I've read about 2 children with disabilities, one Downs Syndrome and another a non verbal ASD child who were also murdered by families in recent years.
(My search history must make me look like Ed Gein, I swear.)

Imagine if the mothers of Star, Teddie, Lola all invited the abusers of their children into their lives and (probably many more) and those babies will have suffered horrifically before deaths and its just soul destroying.

Each case is just devastating and frustrating as many of the children I've listed had involvement from social services, who unfortunately are over stretched etc.

I'm hoping last nights post was a troll but I feel from how she wrote, she wad perhaps a struggling mum who didn't realise the enormity of the situation of potentially allowing an abuser around her kids.

Each child deserves some kind of legacy, that society does better. But will we ever?

According to a website on safeguarding 536 serious incidents involving children occurred over lockdown.

And yet, we learn... fuck all

Robert Ion was the downs baby murdered.

Also, Harvey Borrington was non verbal and autistic, however I did think there was another little boy also murdered in similar conditions, but I may be mistaken.

Anyone else want to add to the list of poor children feel free.

Op they are just the ones who make the news....

There are hundreds who don't

And 'a list' is a bit tasteless

Why tasteless?
Why shouldn't people see in names each child as opposed to a number? Each child was a person who had meaning in their short lives and people should have the resources to look into how they died.
I wrote a "list" of every single person who died from suicide related to austerity also, I think seeing people's names matter.

Some of those barely made the news however I see what you're saying.
I've tried to find as many as I can. Maybe at some point someone planning on bringing an abuser home may Google some of these children's names and it may make a difference to their choice.

Unlikely but victims deserve to have legacy, not be statistics.

According to the NSPCC about one child per week is killed in the U.K. by a family member or care giver.

It's tragic OP, and it's been that way for a long time. 🙁

I don't think it's tasteless. It's good that their voices and stories are heard.

@MintJulia I wonder why some kids are picked up from by the media and others not? I presumed confidentiality but when you consider the knowledge made publicly surrounding some of these deaths make me doubt it also. I'll never get it.

It just seems a huge rise recently and then you see posts on here of people really not understanding how to protect their children and its devastating but also very frustrating 😔

It’s not tasteless, it’s important that we think of these children as individuals. But sadly I suspect there are hundreds more.

It does make you wonder if all prospective parents should be made to go on courses about how to protect their kids, but also how to give them the best chances in life. I’ve no idea how we could enforce (or fund) that but bloody hell so many parents seem to need educating on this. Just because you can make a baby doesn’t mean you can care for them.

I don't understand it.

I unfortunately have person experience of this. DSS has lived I'm a house with domestic abuse and despite saying he's scared of stepdad, being in the house when stepdad beat mum to a bloody pulp (police, school and SS involvement followed this) and witnessing stepdad threatening to kill mum and kids SS and 2 solicitors said there wasn't sufficient evidence to remove the child.

I Flip flop between feeling really sorry for her and hating her for exposing the kids to this. Especially after she left and returned.

However I think the issue is a wider societal one. Single mums are far more likely to live bellow the poverty line, be at risk of homelessness. They are also looked down upon by our society. A short sample of problems that desperately need addressing

I understand why it may seem tasteless, but I suppose discussing it can be seen as morbid interest to people who don't want to discuss it.

I personally think if we're to discuss these cases, then we should give the victims some identity.
But I get why this may divide the crowd, I just hope it stays a civil discussion or I'll ask MN to remove this. I don't think anyone wants a row on a thread about dead children.

I think maybe the best way to instill child safeguarding into adults is to start when they're children? Maybe discussing the less harrowing cases of abuse in social education style classes.
Part of me hates that then were almost raising kids just to be expected to breed, but I can't really think of another way.

Too many people have children that they can't care for, don't want etc and whilst it's often seen more in lower social economic backgrounds (like mine) but its certainly not confined to people in areas like mine. The constance martin case shows how anyone from any walk of life can struggle to have a family they can keep safe.

@Coffeaddict I really am sorry to read that. Sending love, it's a really shit situation and you sound very empathic x

A good reminder that safeguarding is all of our responsibility and we should always report and act on any concerns rather than 'minding our own business'

Also alfie Steele x

There are thousands more, that never made the news. One was a boy in coventry who had been starved to death slowly.

" I wonder why some kids are picked up from by the media and others not? "

Sadly, the same as for any other news story. Will it sell coverage? And what else was happening in the news that day? What will sell most?

Safeguarding is definitely all our responsibility. My mother is a pita for "don't get involved". Recently my DS witnessed a horrid incident and she was crying on the phone asking me to nit say anything in case "anything comes of it".
I have no idea why people think the alternative of potentially living with a death you possibly could have helped prevent live on your conscience is any better.

I'm glad true crime is gaining an interest because the more people singing from the same sheet of "fuck offending people, I'm going to call the police daily if I have to" is ultimately what will force changes.

I know many people have raised alarms over many of the children I listed above for it to have made no difference, (nothing new, Ellie Butlers grandparents spring to mind) but the more noise made the better.

Derail -
I reported someone a months back for what was a disgusting level of negligence, however, because the home was only a maggot infested dog shit graveyard, but not filled with crack, the parent wasn't even offered support.
The little girl was left in a nappy for 16 hours (the mum is actually older than me but very immature and will discuss this freely, she's lost custody of 4 previous DC) and the little girl had such horrendous nappy rash following this, mum told the neighbours, like it was something we all did, forget about our kids basic hygiene. I gave her some bepantham stuff but she said it didn't help. She refused to take her DD the gp, as it was "so bad".
The rspca also removed her dog due to the poor thing being emaciated and full of fleas last month. Shes not someone who is purposely cruel, just really unable to care for anything, sadly herself included. It's heartbreaking because without some support from outside agencies, she'll inevitably lose her DD. If something more sinister doesn't happen.

I've offered to help clean with her etc but she just laughs at the idea, I'm sure it's nerves but what else can you do? You have to report these things because otherwise, it'll land on your conscience should worst case scenario happen.

Although I am from the "snitches get stitiches" way of life, I'd rather a broken nose from an unhinged neighbour than a preventable child death weigh me down.

And 'a list' is a bit tasteless

This.

You made a list. Ffs.

Yes, a list. So the victims locked up with their abusers during lockdown can be identified as humans who had meaning in the world.

I'd find giving them numbers tasteless.
It's in the crime section, the title made it obvious what was about to be discussed.
Scroll on.