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Victims of crime

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Original poster

Prosecution evidence for DV

27 replies

rudibee · 23/11/2022 19:43

Hi can anyone help me I'm driving myself mad on google.
Does the prosecution have to share all evidence they will use in court?
My husband is up on DV charges against me, I'm not supporting the case. But I'm worried someone might of reported we've been speaking while he's on remand and we're not allowed to.
Would they have to tell us they found this out before they use it in the trial.
Please help anyone.

OP posts:
Thedungeondragon · 23/11/2022 19:49

It is entirely likely that will come out in court, yes. More likely to be brought up by the defence than the prosecution I'd imagine. Why does that worry you?

Thelonelychicken · 23/11/2022 19:51

If they knew he was speaking to you while he's on bail conditions then he would be lifted already

Original poster
rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:16

@Thedungeondragon thanks for replying. I was wondering if they would have to disclose to his defence before court. So we can prepare....
It worries me because I don't want him to get extra punishment for it. I want him to come home. It's just so crap all of it. X

OP posts:
Original poster
rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:19

@Thelonelychicken he's already in custody on remand but he has the impression one of the guys in there has grassed him up for talking to me.

OP posts:
Thedungeondragon · 23/11/2022 20:21

If he's on remand then there must be good evidence of a crime against you. Why are you not supporting the case? Even on the little information you have put here he is clearly a danger to you. There is no way it can be a good idea for him to come home.

Original poster
rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:25

@Thedungeondragon I still love him. I don't know. It's tough. But thank you for replying. What will be, will be I guess. Me googling the crap out of everything every second of the day won't change things 😥. X

OP posts:
Flapjack637 · 23/11/2022 20:27

Yes they are duty bound to disclose all available evidence whether or not it undermines the case.
Why does it concern you? Do you want him to be convicted without your support so a restraining order is enforced?

Elsiebear90 · 23/11/2022 20:28

You need some distance from him. Please look into the freedom programme and stop contact. The more contact you have with him the more he will be able to manipulate you into doing what he wants, which will be not supporting the case (works in his favour) and taking him back so he can abuse you again.

RoachPussy · 23/11/2022 20:28

I have never been the victim of DA thankfully but I can only assume that he’s spun you a crock of shite which is why you want him home and are communicating with him when you know you shouldn’t be. For him to be remanded in custody he must’ve gone to work on you. Maybe look at the pictures of the injuries you sustained to remind you what an arse he is who, next time could kill you.

Thedungeondragon · 23/11/2022 20:28

Please have a serious think about things. I know it's really hard, but if you have him back you are really not safe. Take this time while he is not with you to consider a life without him, where you will be safe. You are not responsible for him. He did whatever he did, and should face the consequences.

Original poster
rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:29

@Flapjack637 thank you for your reply. No I don't want a conviction. Definitely not a custodial one anyway. I have made a retraction but they are pressing ahead without my support. I have been summoned but I won't go. It's all a mess.

OP posts:
GetOffTheRoof · 23/11/2022 20:31

You know every call made from prison is recorded? So every call you made can be used by the police to prove you are in contact and the prison will just give them all the details.

If he's calling you from someone else's PIN account, it's the same rules.

If he's calling you from a mobile phone, that's a serious criminal offence in prison.

Flapjack637 · 23/11/2022 20:35

rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:29

@Flapjack637 thank you for your reply. No I don't want a conviction. Definitely not a custodial one anyway. I have made a retraction but they are pressing ahead without my support. I have been summoned but I won't go. It's all a mess.

I hope you have some support from women’s aid or victim support. Please consider doing women’s aids freedom programme 💐

Elsiebear90 · 23/11/2022 20:38

It’s a mess because you’re continuing a relationship with an abuser, you have a choice in this, you’re not helpless, the police will help you, but you need to help yourself by realising you don’t deserve to be in relationship with someone who abuses you. I’m presuming he’s manipulated you into thinking it was a all a big mistake, he’s very sorry, it won’t happen again or it was your fault and wasn’t that bad, but this wasn’t the first time?

Quveas · 23/11/2022 20:38

rudibee · 23/11/2022 20:29

@Flapjack637 thank you for your reply. No I don't want a conviction. Definitely not a custodial one anyway. I have made a retraction but they are pressing ahead without my support. I have been summoned but I won't go. It's all a mess.

If you don't go, or if you lie, you can be arrested and / or prosecuted yourself. You can't ignore a court summons.

To be on remand and a case going ahead without your agreement, is serious. If you get your wish, one day he'll probably kill you. And I won't sugar coat or apologise for saying that. He'll probably kill you.

You need help. And not from him. He won't help you. He controls you.

MissEnolaHolmes · 23/11/2022 20:44

Quveas · 23/11/2022 20:38

If you don't go, or if you lie, you can be arrested and / or prosecuted yourself. You can't ignore a court summons.

To be on remand and a case going ahead without your agreement, is serious. If you get your wish, one day he'll probably kill you. And I won't sugar coat or apologise for saying that. He'll probably kill you.

You need help. And not from him. He won't help you. He controls you.

Show quote history

This.

he will kill you next time

you need help and that is him in prison and you in serious counselling doing the freedom programme and learning what love and boundaries are

this isn’t loving you - he is controlling you

if you have children - they will remove them

let me repeat that - they will remove your children

MarshaMelrose · 23/11/2022 20:57

You have to attend court if summonsed but if you're a close relative, like he's a live in partner, I don't think they'll force you to give evidence.

You really need to think with your head rather than your heart, though. You've seen certain behaviour from him and that's only going to be repeated over and over. Do you really want to spend years in and out of courts and prisons?

Greenshake · 23/11/2022 21:08

Oh God it is so frustrating to read this post, knowing exactly how it will go in the future for the OP and this abusive man.

MichelleScarn · 23/11/2022 21:11

@rudibee are there children in this?

Ginger1982 · 23/11/2022 21:15

If he's remanded then he either already has a record or it was a pretty serious attack.

Blanketenvy · 23/11/2022 21:18

Am really sorry you are in this situation. You obviously know that it's not a good idea to be in contact with him or to get back together with him.
If he's hurt you enjoy to be remanded and the case continuing without your support it really is likely he will kill you next time. Even if you are set on what you are doing, would you consider just having a chat with a DA charity? Just to talk things through and do some safety planning with someone.

Minimalme · 23/11/2022 21:27

You don't love him (although I'm sure you feel 100% certain you do).

You are enmeshed in some sort of weird codependency and it will be somewhere in your background where you have experienced rejection and previous abuse.

You feel like you need him - that feeling isn't love, it's dependency.

You've got a chance to get free and preserve your life.

Surely you don't want to experience the abuse again?

Mollythemoo · 23/11/2022 21:39

When the man is abusing you, to the point it has gone to court. Bloody, wake up will you?

Think of the women, in the queue behind you , that where killed tonight!

Whilst you still proclaim love for a man , who abused you but you think he loved you?

Their is no, abuse is love! . My ex abused me and then killed my 2 sons, because I left him !

That was back in 2002. Move forward to 2019, him out of prison, still talking as if we are together, to a person I happened to bump into 17 years later.

2021 moved , cut off all my family and friends ,I have no one in life.

Women wake up, please ,if you are in abusive relationship, understand, hunt out the Freedom programme. Get away, you need help please PM me.

Please, know, never how much you are lonely, desperate, this abusive bloke will be ever change. Women's Aid , all the way , please love yourself to know , you are worthy , you deserve a happy life and you will get one.

Sending you love, strength and power. You can do this and I will hand hold and have your back xxx

JanglyBeads · 23/11/2022 22:33

What do your family and friends think, OP?

Bootskates · 23/11/2022 22:49

Trial? So is he is pleading not guilty and will stand in court and deny hurting you? Not very remorseful.

He needs to be locked up. You are in danger when you are with him. He has hurt you before and he's not even sorry

Please speak to someone who can help you properly break away