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Victims of crime

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I think my ex DP is making a case against me

16 replies

UnterDre · 07/07/2022 09:12

I’m 6 months pregnant and we broke up a month ago. He was pretty dreadful to me, lots of it just being a shit partner rather than being abusive. Other times he would mock and belittle me, he would be suspicious of me about getting into his emails or taking his belongings, neither of which I had done. He was good in other ways but generally got drunk (he’s been done for drink driving a year ago) and that used to upset me. My worry is that I put all my frustration down in texts , angry, upset messages, and lots of them, calling him names and threats to tell police what we was doing etc. He’s not spoken for weeks and whilst the relationship is over it’s very strange he won’t talk about the baby. His close friend has also retreated from me almost completely which is strange. He’s recently been in trouble at work. Nothing major but he had to go through an interview process related to his drinking and I wonder if he’s tried to paint me as some monster in order to help his case. It’s just strange for him and friends to be totally silent. If he does try and do that he’s obviously got all these texts and I don’t have that. I feel like nobody would believe my side.

OP posts:
SpookyButTrue · 07/07/2022 09:15

What case though? What law are you worried you have broken? This is unlikely to be a police matter and he is unlikely to try and take out a private prosecution against you.

I'm confused.

UnterDre · 07/07/2022 09:17

@SpookyButTrue the abusive messages calling him names/swearing names. Then harassing him for two weeks when he first went silent. For texting him threats/nastiness. All of that really. I have nothing in writing from him about his behaviour. He also mentioned once in our last conversation that he’d been told I’d been abusing him.

OP posts:
Bonheurdupasse · 07/07/2022 09:20

Well it does sound like you were abusing him.
You wrote "texting him threats/nastiness".

Indeed he may also have been abusive, but it looks like you definitely were.

LIZS · 07/07/2022 09:20

To what end though, sounds domestic rather than criminal. Block him, find some rl support and be ready to submit a cms claim.

haggan · 07/07/2022 09:23

the abusive messages calling him names/swearing names. Then harassing him for two weeks when he first went silent. For texting him threats/nastiness.

You say in your OP you feel like nobody would believe your side, but then go on to admit to all of the above?

I'm not sure what kind of 'case' you mean though? Are you talking about criminal chanteuse or harassment or something, or a custody case?

ItsSnowJokes · 07/07/2022 09:24

OP you need to stop with these numerous threads. You have received so much advice over the tens and tens of threads you have started. Get help and counselling. Forget this bloke, he is consuming your every waking minute and it is so unhealthy. You are literally obsessed with every single minute details about all of this.

haggan · 07/07/2022 09:24

Criminal CHARGES that should read Blush

UnterDre · 07/07/2022 09:27

@haggan i don’t know what sort of case really. He clearly felt I was abusing him? but day to day he was so awful to me I felt broken and yet I have no evidence of that in the same way he would.

OP posts:
SpookyButTrue · 07/07/2022 10:59

Don't worry about it. If he makes some sort of claim, make a counter claim.

Just because he was abusive to you doesn't mean you were not abusive back though and maybe there is a life lesson for you here OP?

Do nothing. Wait and see. Worrying about something that may never happen is pointless. Move on. Be happy.

UnterDre · 07/07/2022 11:01

@SpookyButTrue yeah I was abusive back. I didn’t know how to handle it all and I think I handled it very badly.

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 07/07/2022 11:03

ItsSnowJokes · 07/07/2022 09:24

OP you need to stop with these numerous threads. You have received so much advice over the tens and tens of threads you have started. Get help and counselling. Forget this bloke, he is consuming your every waking minute and it is so unhealthy. You are literally obsessed with every single minute details about all of this.

Oh God
Is it her again?
People have told you so many times to move on , focus on yourself and your baby and leave this man alone

Cameronnorrieisabitofalright · 07/07/2022 11:05

My exh pulled out an entire case full of abuse I had sent him. Obviously he hadn't included the messages he sent me. Judge shoo-ed him away when he tried to thrust it at him. Stop worrying op.

MintJulia · 07/07/2022 11:12

So you sent some abusive messages. Not bright but not a disaster.

Now stop contacting him. Limit your communication to letting him know when the baby is born. Be polite, calm, factual. Treat him as a business acquaintance.

And stop expecting his friends and family to communicate with you. Why would they if you are known to be abusive? They are none of your concern anymore.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 07/07/2022 11:27

Which version is this one?

Whatever. Stop obsessing over him and get on with your pregnancy.

Coachwork · 07/07/2022 11:37

Are you the one who keeps posting changing the story each time to attempt to elicit the answer you want?
Leave him, his friends and family alone. If you continue to harass he will have a case. Be prepared to parent on your own. You can't force contact between father and DC but you can put in a claim with the CMS once your baby arrives.

Hoppinggreen · 07/07/2022 12:10

Coachwork · 07/07/2022 11:37

Are you the one who keeps posting changing the story each time to attempt to elicit the answer you want?
Leave him, his friends and family alone. If you continue to harass he will have a case. Be prepared to parent on your own. You can't force contact between father and DC but you can put in a claim with the CMS once your baby arrives.

I believe so

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