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Sexually Assaulted at 13

9 replies

OohImBlindedByTheLights · 30/12/2020 14:17

When I was growing up, I lived on a street with loads of kids of varying ages. We would always play with each other and I grew close to a new family who had 4 young children. One of the children was 3 years younger than me but at that age it didn't matter as we had similar interests then - in particular - The Sims. I would always be at their house playing this game as back in the day, my computer at home didn't have a graphics card which could support the game...

Anyway, one long weekend in February break, I was meant to stay the night at this girls house and on the night of the sleepover, the dad had said he had hurt his back and asked if we could rearrange. Being young, me and this girl (his eldest child) begged and begged for him to change his mind which he did.

We had fun that night, playing on the computer and when it came to bedtime, I top and tailed with her in her cabin bed.

Later in the night, her dad had come in to tell us to quieten down as his wife and young baby were trying to get to sleep, so me and my friend went to sleep. I was trying to sleep and I was aware that her dad had come back into the room and was watching over me. He soon began touching me.... on my (then developing) chest and under my knickers. I kept trying to roll over and make him think I was awake in the hope he would stop. Deep down I was terrified so kept my eyes shut. He then kissed me half on the cheek and half on the lips and said I was so beautiful. This went on for about 5 minutes and he left.

The next morning I made my excuses and left and never told anyone until I was 21. I had told my mum as it had come up in counselling (I was referred for my low mood and help after an emotionally abusive relationship). My mum told my dad who called the police and as the family had since moved away (I stopped playing with this family as was so scared of it happening again) the police went away to find him.
I remember the family protection unit coming to see me and I had to explain in great detail what had happened. A few days later the police called to say they found him, took him in for questioning and obviously denied it all, asked why I would say something like this and when questioned formally, he kept saying "no comment". Ultimately there was not enough evidence to charge him.

Fast forward a number of years later, this still bothers me. It angers me that he has gotten away with it. I had specialised counselling for a while which helped me come to terms of it and realise it was not my fault and he is sick etc, but it still bothers me that he essentially got away with it!!!

Not sure what I'm looking for by posting here but I just wish he was charged and I'm praying he's not done this to someone else

OP posts:
Hailtomyteeth · 30/12/2020 18:26

I'm sorry this happened to you.

jessstan1 · 30/12/2020 18:30

I'm so terribly sorry, things like that definitely leave scars.

You were absolutely right to report this to the police, even though there was insufficient evidence for prosecution, who will have it on file. You never know he may do it or have done it again and if there are further reports, what you said will be useful.

This is such a sad story and happens to so many. Thank goodness you had decent parents.

Please don't let it spoil your life forever. If you do, he will have won.

Flowers
OohImBlindedByTheLights · 30/12/2020 21:14

Thing is, I just feel it's such an injustice that this creep feels he can get away with it and play happy families with his wife and children.... it's even worse he carried out this attack when his daughter was sleeping in the same bed as me. It's vile

OP posts:
jessstan1 · 31/12/2020 15:40

I agree, it is vile Oohim.

OohImBlindedByTheLights · 31/12/2020 15:49

And I hope he and his wife see this post and know how much he has affected me and that he is scum. I hope they know who I am from this post (in that way I hope it's only been me that he assaulted, I'd hate for there to be more people feeling the same way I do cause of this man).

OP posts:
jessstan1 · 31/12/2020 20:11

I doubt his wife knows, Oohim, and realistically the chances of him coming on Mumsnet are slim, we don't have that many male posters.

I can feel some of your pain and wish I could do something to help you.

PurpleFrames · 31/12/2020 20:22

In the nicest possible way OP, I doubt he would care if he did read this post. As an abuser if he did he wouldn't abuse surely? I contacted one of my childhood abusers who is also a relative and he flat out denied it happened and expressed sympathy as I was to him "clearly nuts". I hope the counselling was helpful or if not, that you can find something that works for you.

parsnipsnotsprouts · 31/12/2020 20:48

Idk it's hard isn't it? Something similar happened To me with a friends dad when I was 8. Very frightening. Didn't tell anyone until years later when my much younger sister started being friendly with his daughter and I was scared he'd attack her too. For years he used to wink at me in the street. He's dead now but I still feel resentful and now my daughter is a similar age to I was when it happened it plays on my mind.

Dumb1 · 31/12/2020 20:51

This happened to me on Christmas day when I was 15, I woke up to the Dad masturbating and kissing my breasts while his daughter slept beside me. I never told anyone until many years later when he had passed away. Like you I've had lots of counciling and once his kids started to have children of their own I worried what he could be capable of. I wish I had reported it but I just blocked it out. You were very, very brave and should be proud of yourself for telling your story.

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