Retaliation

[abstractzebra]

Hi all,

I'm hoping for some ideas regarding a difficult issue.
I live in a block of flats. To my left, I have a lovely neighbour.
Above her, there is a very noisy family with no carpets.
The official residents should be one adult and two small children but there's also an additional adult sleeping in the sitting room and now a new partner.
I don't think it would be classed as overcrowding in the current climate but it's very noisy.
The new partner has become aggressive and over the last week or so, my neighbour has had to listen to his outbursts towards the tenant and her children. Swearing and shouting and locking one of the children out in the hall.
My neighbour can hear everything word for word.
My adult daughter can hear the shouting but not the actual words when she's in her bedroom.
After a terrible incident yesterday, my neighbour met the tenants mother coming to the flat. As she looked like she was worried and was hurrying, my neighbour presumed she was there to deal with the incident.
It turned out she knew nothing, so honest mistake by my neighbour out of concern.
We've reported our concerns previously to the housing association and my neighbour was already receiving support regarding the noise from the council.
The aggressive boyfriend has approached my neighbour and told her to mind her own business and was intimidating but I felt she handled it quite well and said if she can hear him being violent, especially to children, it's everyone's business and told him to go away.
I want to report everything to the police but I had an extremely aggressive neighbour before and reported to the police and HA and basically was left for 6 years dealing with it. Property damage, threats, car damage, malicious reports about my children.
Eventually, after the perpetrator left, I got a letter of apology saying they all should have done more!! I was furious. I couldn't have been left more on my own.
If I report, there could be retaliation but even worse it could be towards my neighbour who is older than me and already scared.
I'm just furious that we have to deal with it at all, especially as the HA have already been told.
I don't really know what to do.

You or neighbour report concern for
The children to local children services dept of possible domestic abuse in front of children exactly as you spelt it out here

The new partner has become aggressive and over the last week or so, my neighbour has had to listen to his outbursts towards the tenant and her children. Swearing and shouting and locking one of the children out in the hall.

Ask to stay anonymous due to risk of repercussion from aggressive partner at the home

Hello,

The situation was diffused by the mother turning up and we reported it to the housing association who contacted the police and whoever else they needed to.
I don't know what was said but they've told my neighbour that the children were already at risk.
Regarding retaliation, I think people who behave like this will blame everyone else anyway regardless of whether they have been involved or not.
It's just the worry of whether anyone will offer any sort of protection if anything happens.

So.... has it been reported to children
Services or not? Doesn't matter that mum managed to calm him (NDN DP) down, he was shouting abusively so loudly neighbour could hear and was worried. Nor does it matter that they might already be known as CSD may not/don't know about this incident.

In terms of what protection can be offered? Well neighbour reports it (as new information in part of a wider picture they may already have) to children services asking to be kept anonymous

If the NDN DP guesses they deny it and if he threatens NDN, they report to police. It'll go straight to CSD who will also up their concerns about this allegedly verbally aggressive man. Police can advise on protective measures including police alarm and possible offences. It's not ideal but it's what is in place and may be better than listening to a child being emotionally abused thinking 'I ought do something and how far will he go? '

If NDN DP hasn't been thrown out on his ear, how protective does your friend think the mum is being for her DC? Is it one off or repeated anger towards DCs?

Also it's not a report to HA, it's a child safeguarding concern report to local children services. One phone call will do it, she can look local safeguarding children number up online. Your friend is concerned due to ndn DCs being shouted at.. & their safety, (not the housing side although that may be inconvenient too..)

Tell her to stop confronting him and let the bigger bullies confront him- children services! They take no prisoners ....

The HA have said that they have reported it to someone who was already involved with the care/protection of the children but I think the partner is still there so not sure how quickly they act. I can't remember who this person was or who they were acting on behalf of.
It's difficult because my neighbour is older and is already mentally worn down by the noise. She had already attempted to resolve the issue with the HA and they treated her appallingly. They generally do that. She has since been supported by the local council who seemed genuinely concerned and willing to help.
I'm due a call from the HA this afternoon regarding service charges but I will ask if it is being dealt with properly.