Can I find out the details of a sexual assault

[Justbecause2019]

My ex family member (who I have no contact with anymore) has recently been convicted of sexual assault, they have received their sentence including 5 years on the sex offenders register.

I have no idea what the assault was. The courts can’t give me this specific information and I don’t know if there is any way I can find this out. An hour sexual assault is serious but I want to know to what extent the crime is he has committed.

This person has contact with my child, I have told my ex partner before his conviction that I didn’t want them to have any contact with him which he has refused to agree to. I have seeked legal advice and have been told I can look at getting an injunction out so he isn’t allowed around my children which is what i will be doing.

Surely social services would have something to say about a child having contact with a sex offender? (Or is that only is their offence involved children?)

Thank you for your reply.

I’m not too sure about that. Going to call the solicitors back again and ask some more questions today.

How did you get on @Justbecause2019?

Are you in the UK? If so and this person has access to your child contact your local police force on 101 and tell them you want to make a child sexual offence disclosure scheme application (Sarah's law) you will need to know some basic personal info of theirs full name approx age / dob to enable the police to search their systems and locate them, you'll also need to provide your details and the child possibly at risks details they will then search police informations systems and if their is anything to indicate your child is at risk they will disclose it to you likely with certain caveats around confidentiality. It maybe that the offence committed was against an adult and subject isn't considered a risk to children in which case they won't disclose but it's always worth making the application because it's not just convictions that are taken into consideration it's also intelligence and other investigations that may not have met the evidence threshold for prosecution.

I have massively dripfed here but I didn’t really want to disclose what I wrote here. I hate writing it and I wanted to see if I could get an answer about finding out what exactly the conviction entailed.

This is going to be long but I don’t want to miss any information out.

6 years ago my 3 year old disclosed that this man had sexual abused her. The things she said were not what a 4 year old would just come out with.
He was arrested but wasn’t charged because
1- lack of evidence to prosecute without her being questioned
2- She was too young and wasn’t ‘verbal’ enough to be cross examined so it would have been deemed an unfair trial.
The police left the case ‘open’ should she ever remember anything in the future.

Thank God she doesn’t and has never mentioned it again.

But social services said he was to have no contact with with child.
Her father doesn’t believe her. Never has, and protested this mans innocence.
I was made out to be a bad mum for stopping overnight contact with her dad because I didn’t feel that she would be safe staying with someone who didn’t believe her.
I don’t believe that that she hasn’t seen him. I would never question her but I do think her dad has taken her to a few family events that this man has been at in the past.

He took me to court at the beginning of this year because he felt she was missing out on seeing his family and attending parties and the likes and wanted her to be allowed to be around this man. The court ordered that she was to have zero contact with him.
The judge said I have to trust her dad when she is in his care. I said I don’t. How can I when I know he doesn’t believe her.

I found out about his family members charge for sexual assault at the family court hearing and he was awaiting his trial which obviously now I know he was found guilty. My child’s dad still doesn’t believe he is guilty.

Her dad has now moved on the same street as this man. 2 blocks down. Even though there is a contact order in place to say she isn’t to have any with this man, this is for her father. So he would be the one who could be imprisoned should he break that.

But I want something in place against this vile human being. To say he can’t be within a certain distance of my child. I don’t want her living that close. The parking is on the same road, the same local shop. There is nothing that can 100% prevent her from seeing this man and I am so worried that if she did see him then she may have a trigger or something.

She goes with her dad every other weekend and I spend the time feeling sick, worried.

I spoke to 2 solicitors today who said that because of my order having no contact then I wouldn’t be able to get an injunction or anything for her not to be allowed within a distance of this man.
But when I spoke to cafcass after the court hearing she did advise me that there was more I could do and to seek legal advice.

I don’t know what next steps to take. I have to do everything in my power to protect my child, and I feel like at the moment I can’t guarantee her safety.

Sorry for not stating everything straight away.

If I Call about sarah’s Law would I have a right to know?

Thanks so much for your message.

I was recently diagnosed ptsd after losing a family member in a horrific way and I have been having anxiety attacks and not sleeping everytime she isn’t with me

Oh OP, I have no advice but just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this. You're doing everything you can to protect your daughter, that's the main thing! X

He will have a probation officer who manages him. Call the local office to you, or city to you and ask to speak his probation officer / offender manager (same thing). Explain who you are, what happened with your child and what you want to know. They will support you with a disclosure from the police and ensuring he cannot contact your child. They may be busy but once you have the name of his PO, keep ringing back until they listen to your story.
X

Thank you mummyto2munchkins,
I already feel like the worse mum in the world for letting this happen to her, even though she wasn’t in my care. So it’s hard hard writing it out and feel like everyone judges me for not protecting her.

Thank you Nancyjuice, I will give that a go. Would I need to call the probabtion office local to where he lives?

That’s the best option but any office will be able to tell you who is probation officer is as it’s a national system. Have his DOB ready if you know it. Ask them if there is a social worker linked to the case and if you can have their details as well.
It’s really important for them to know about what he’s done before as we use this information in our risk assessments, not just convictions so they will be grateful you have rang and explained. Let me know when you’ve called and if you need anymore advice x

How awful for you op there must be something can be done here. Hope u find some answers soon. U r doing ur best at the moment keeping yr daughter safe x

Justbecause You aren't to blame for what happened in the past, please try to let go of that thought.
The work you are doing to protect your DD now is evidence that you are an extremely competent, caring & devoted parent.
Keep going, you are setting in motion all the right legal, social & personal structures to protect her in the future 💐

.

Thank you all.

I have called the local police station and I need to go in to fill the forms out so will do that one day next week.
I didn’t have the time to call probabtion today so will do that Monday too.

Thank you so much for your help and comments, it has made me feel a little better.
I will update once I know more just incase anyone else needs the same info in the future (hopefully not, but its a sick world we live in)

I hope you get your situation resolved but from reading your update I think your child's father is more of a problem than the offender. You know the offender is a risk to your DD regardless of what his latest conviction is and yet her father seems to be obstructive when it comes to safeguarding her, what on earth he's thinking I don't know. Good luck you have my sympathy trying to co parent with someone who doesn't share your safeguarding concerns.

This is exactly how I feel, but according to ss and the judge at family court I just have to ‘trust him’
I don’t understand how any parent can not want to do everything they can to protect their child. It just seems like he wants to go against anything I say. Because he can.
Thank you

Hi - Probation will not be able to disclose the nature of his offence to you or any details regarding his management, it is still worth calling them however to advise them regarding the case involving your daughter, which will likely affect the management of his case including licence conditions if he is on licence.

They may impose conditions to not contact you and your daughter (although as there is no conviction it could be challenged by him if they do), or trigger the need for conditions largely related to interaction with any children.

Thank you.
I still haven’t called probabtion yet, a family member passed away last week and my head is everywhere at the moment.
I have to go into the police station tomorrow to fill in the paperwork under Sarah’s law.

I needed some lined paper this morning so grabbed one of my daughters notebooks. I was looking for a clear page and on one the pages she had a list of what looks like her friends, or birthday party list or something.
There are 7 names on it. All friends from school and they all have ticks next to their names. HIS name is at the top of the list with a big black X next to it.
We do not know any other person with this name. There is no one in her year with this name. And she has never mentioned someone with that name to me. She has more close friends too that aren’t on the list.

I have a really horrible feeling she is talking about him. Either she remembers or she has met him and had a bad feeling. We never say his name or have never even mentioned anything in front of her.

I don’t know how to talk to her about this. I will ask who the person is but I feel so broken. I have a gut feeling. A horrible, sinking feeling. I have been shaking and crying all day feeling sick. What do I do?

And it hurts if she is talking about him and doesn’t feel like she can talk to me.

So sorry your going through this. And it's perfectly normal for them to think and express in private. I would take her to the GP and possibly (age appropriately) ask her to wait in waiting room and explain to GP she might need talking therapy. I know for adults you can refer yourself online but unsure for children but look on your councils safeguarding website.

Hope you and your dd are doing ok.