Hi really feel trapped and no idea what to do. Sadly partly my fault.
So known my boyfriend for 7 years but only recently within last year decided to move in together.
Please no judgements, i know I’ve been foolish and taken for a mug.
Over the past he’s constantly asked me for money and very rarely paid me back.
He lulled me with promises for a long time that he would have a lot more money if I moved in. Eventually I decided to yet there’s no difference and it’s still a case of him asking for handouts.
Since I moved in I’ve been thinking of the future and saving what I can to a deposit so we can get out of renting and onto mortgage.
I done an agreement in principle with a bank and it was declined, then when I checked my credit report my boyfriend has taken over £7500 debt in my name. Worse is the fact he’s had several missed payments so wrecked my credit rating at the same time.
My 4 year old son looks at him as a father and they have a great relationship but my boyfriend is so selfish, all he cares about is spending money on cigarettes.
It all started when he asked to borrow £1000 and eventually I caved in. I know I was being emotionally manipulated and sadly let it happen. This was to save him from homelessness and he was going to pay me back within a year. Yet all he did was pay me but then ask for more so eventually borrowed over £5000 and the extra £7500 that he took out in credit cards.
So that should have been the warning sign when he first asked for £1000 but sadly didn’t walk away which is a huge regret.
Next up in regrets when he explained because of his credit rating being so poor, he couldn’t get the latest phone so he asked me to get the phone in his name and I did.
So that’s why I haven’t gone to the police, even though I did reluctantly let him take the phone In my name, I didn’t consent to all the store and credit cards. However, I’m savvy enough to know no one would believe that.
Plus I found out about all the debt in April and haven’t done anything about it.
Latest situation I give him my share of the bills each money and that’s been okay for this year. However last night he asked me for another £400 and I just fear I’ve fallen into a cycle I can’t escape.
I gave him the £400 because he said he would default on payments on all credit cards and put a bigger black mark on my credit rating.
I don’t have that much money, some tiny amount of savings but I budget month to month.
He is to a point paying the credit cards but occasionally one or two alerts are sent to me that he’s missed a payment and that turns into another argument.
However fear if I leave I’ll by Sadled with all this debt I can’t afford to pay as he certainly won’t if we break up.
On the flip side, he may get tired of me being his meal ticket, meet someone else and dump me anyway and I’m sadled with all this debt anyway.
I’m so torn as what to do. Anyone else been in this situation?