Is a restraining order like a criminal record?

[ChipsEclipse]

After splitting with Ex 6 months ago he became particularly abusive. The police became involved and have been waiting for confirmation that it can go to court for a restraining order. This has taken over 4 months in which time the behaviour has improved, not great but no threats. It’s now looking like it will go to court and Ex is panicking about losing his job if I get a restraining order and wants me to put a stop to it. I don’t want him to lose his job, as his behaviour has improved a lot and his job is all he has and would make him worse if he lost it. I also don’t want to stop it after all the police time and then if he starts again (which is quite possible) I’m back at square one. Will a restraining order be like a criminal record he would have to declare to his employer/show up in CRB?

I do believe that whilst a restraining order is active that it shows up on all the background checks. Once the duration is over it won’t show in basic checks but would show on more in-depth checks.

I would think to yourself only and protect yourself against his behaviour. He chooses how to act and unfortunately for him if he doesn’t behave well you’re entitled to protection. Don’t stand for abusive behaviour and certainly don’t pander to his selfish ways now. He’s emotionally manipulating you, his job thus far hasn’t came into how he’s behaved, if it’s only improved and not stopped them he still doesn’t care enough about it.

Get the order in place and protect yourself.

If the police are taking it to court, they will be prosecuting him for a criminal offence (such as harassment) - they can't just ask for a restraining order.

He will then be asked to enter a plea to the charge - if guilty he will have a criminal record - when sentencing the prosecution will ask for a restraining order.

If he pleads not guilty they will fix a trial. You will be asked to go (assuming you've previously given a witness statement) to give evidence. Then the magistrates will decide if he's guilty or not.

The prosecution can ask for a restraining order on acquittal but the magistrates May be less inclined to grant it.

The only way to do it otherwise is to ask the family courts for a non-molestation order, which is similar in that if breached he can be arrested.

Thanks for the replies. They did mention harrassment so that must be what the charges will be. I don’t know what to do, if he loses his job he’ll be worse.

Well nobody can tell you what to do, especially not him. The order would be there to give you protection.

You could ask the police about a harassment warning. That's like a last chance for him (if they agree to do it) where he basically signs to agree to leave you alone and any further incidents they will almost certainly prosecute.

Ultimately though, the police and cps (prosecution lawyers) will decide how to proceed now. Even if you say you don't want to go to court, they may decide to prosecute.

@ceh777 whilst they’re active they do show up.

His job is not your problem. I strongly suspect if you back off now his bad behaviour will ramp up again as he'll not fear the consequences because he'll see you as a soft touch.

He's probably only "behaving" to try and persuade you!

If you get it and he's pissed off you get it enforced and get his backside lifted!

He clearly can't be trusted to behave well off his own back even if it's putting his job in jeopardy - he should have thought about that before being an arse eh?