How to feel less anxious after burglary

[Solymar]

So three weeks ago we were broken into while we slept upstairs. Nothing was taken apart from my OH car keys and the car.
Since it's happened we have really upped security with an alarm, security lights, cctv, anti snap locks and bolts on the sliding doors. Even with all the added security I just cannot stop thinking about it and worrying it will happen again. My OHs new car gets delivered this week so I'm panicking they might target us again.
Just hoping someone might have been in a similar situation and can reassure it's normal to feel like this and it does get better!? X

Oh Solymar so sorry to hear this, hopefully the shits will have moved on, am sure they will have as they will be aware that following their robbery actions will have been taken. Do you have a contact in your local police?

Thanks for your reply! Yes the police have been great they came out straight away when we realised in the morning and we had visits from CSI and our local CSO. We had a few calls from a detective to as it's obviously a bit of a problem at the minute but no news on the car. The police encouraged us to make the house more secure but one officer made a comment of don't try too hard as if they really want your car they will get it and I think it's this that's making me really nervous.

We were burgled last night - broke into the house and stole my keys and car... I don't see myself sleeping for a long time, I'm petrified knowing someone was in my house when we were asleep :(

Sorry it's not useful, I'm going to watch this thread because I don't know what to do

Oh cupcakesandglitter I'm so sorry to hear that! Me going on about it weeks later is probably the last thing you needed to see I'm sure it does get better.

Have you increased security? It's just the worst feeling isn't it! Next doors cctv showed them drive off in the at 2.20 and I was up getting DS a bottle at 3! X

@Solymar don't be silly, it's totally okay - it's not something you get over straight away and I don't expect to! I also have no intention of just getting over it and moving on like I keep being advised

We haven't yet 😩 we've only recently moved into our home so we don't have money to fall back on. On payday I'm going to invest in some cameras etc - none of our neighbours have CCTV so I have no idea what time they took it.

I was also told my an officer that it doesn't matter how much money is put into security - if they want it, they'll get it. It doesn't help!

We actually had quotes for an alarm when we moved in last year but there always seemed to be other priorities who knows if it would have happened if we had had them fitted.

I would actually quite like DH to just leave the car keys on the drive now so if they want them they don't have to come anywhere near me or my sleeping baby lol

How rude to be told to get over it!!! They have obviously never had it happen to them x

😂 I told my DH if they come back, give them the keys and let them take the car! I feel so horrible knowing your baby was in the house, it's so upsetting (I'm sorry if this isn't helping) but I understand, my sister was in the house and it's so horrible!

It's hard because some people say cameras don't actually stop them anymore - if they cover their face it doesn't really make a difference :( x

An awful question but do/did you have fancy cars? I have an ancient astra which am now reluctant to replace!

We got broken in to back in Feb, we think it is somebody who came to view our house (up for sale) and they took a games console. We had an alarm and have now added cameras. Honestly it does get easier. For the first few weeks I didn't want to leave the house or come home alone in case it happened again. I'm getting a lot better and it doesn't cross my mind as much. For me it's been made worse as we have a young baby and I was worried about them.

Happened to me last year, kind of. I lived still live until the new bastard house is built on a main road, and it was about 10pm at night when I got home and pulled onto my driveway. I got out of the car (brand new porsche cayenne for context), locked it and was just walking to the front door when two aggressive masked men grabbed me and started shouting 'give me the fucking keys'. Obviously I gave them what they wanted; after all it's just a car and I wasn't about to leave my children without a mother over that.

Was shit scared for months afterwards, and we actually had cctv and adt monitored alarm etc but obviously it didn't help as they didn't actually break in. To top it all off they managed to remove the tracker so we lost the car for good. But I'm fine now, shit happens and hopefully (!) lightning doesn't strike twice. And at the new house I have an attached double garage so it won't happen again

@shakeyourcaboose generally they want higher end cars (usually German ones) that they can strip for parts or send abroad

@shakeyourcaboose I don't think mine is flashy - it's fairly new, but the officer had a chuckle with me about the fact that someone went through that much difficulty to get my car. There are newer ones in the area, but apparently mine is the first of my car to be logged as stolen 🤷🏻‍♀️

It was a BMW that was stolen the police said they are after BMW Audi & Mercedes the keys to my Astra were in the same place but they left the Astra!!

I would never advise anyone to take keys upstairs to bed! It was a horrendous feeling knowing they had been in the house at all but I was so thankful the keys were downstairs and easy to find otherwise I'm sure they would have headed upstairs to where we were all asleep!! X

Thanks for all the tips as well as the cctv alarm lights etc we are also going to keep the new car on the drive with the gates closed and get a steering lock. Hopefully all the fuss will act as a deterrent.

My parents were broken into when they were asleep upstairs, my dad heard them and came downstairs, they fled and had been looking for car keys. They were turning the kitchen upside down so they were definitely trying to get in and out quickly but equally so much so that they didn’t worry about being heard. They didn’t find them but there is no way I’d take keys to bed. I wouldn’t want them coming further into the house to get what they want. I also wouldn’t have a knife block on the kitchen side anymore.

What a rotten experience, OP. Like you, I would not take the keys upstairs to bed with me, but in all other respects I think Wilfwalking's post is really sane and their comments on burglars wanting to avoid fuss are what you need to focus on here to start to calm your fears, perhaps?. (Sorry, I don't mean taking keys upstairs is INsane, I just mean that that one's more of a personal choice as to what makes you feel safer.)

Time will probably make you feel better as well.

Also -- "make your house look harder to break into than Number [xx] "(which is exactly what you've done with visible security measures). Then they'll go for Number [xx]. Kicks the can down the road, of course, rather than solving the problem properly, but since the latter is never going to happen, it's the next best thing!

Hope you feel less anxious soon, OP.

Yes it's definitely a better way to try and think of it as the burglars are more scared of us disturbing them. I'm fine in the day it's only when I'm up with Ds in the night that it plays on my mind, I will try focusing on thinking of it this way tonight.

I would actually love to feel brave enough to take the keys to bed as wilfwalking does we work so hard to have nice things why should people be able to just take them so easily. The little old lady next door was the same she sleeps with her keys and says she would chase any burglars out of her house!

This happened to my in laws and they took all the security measures you have, and have been fine since. When we were burgled a couple of years ago, the police advised security lights, CCTV (and make both v visible as that will have a significant deterrent effect) and, even if you don't have a dog, put a 'beware of the dog' sign in the window as they won't want to risk waking a dog.

I was burgled a year ago (in fact it was at this Bank Holiday last year). They didn't take my car and only got away with about £50 of broken power drills, a smashed old mobile and £30 from my purse. Arrested very quickly thanks to fingerprint, neighbours CCTV and the fact the same 19 year old lad had been recorded doing several burglaries in the area over that weekend. All for drug money (he looked about 13 on the CCTV but was 19 with a lengthy record already apparently). He got put in prison but will be out again now.

It took me a long time to feel 'over it' and I was anxious at bedtime and when getting up for a few months. It was made far worse in my mind because he'd actually woken my then 4 year old up. DS had then run along the landing into my room, saying 'Muuummm...' at which point the burglar froze, waited a few minutes then quietly scarpered. DS is a light sleeper - if he wakes and thinks he hears ME down stairs he will just come downstairs, not into my bedroom. So glad he didn't know what had woken him up that night and he hadn't headed downstairs!

I also wouldn’t have a knife block on the kitchen side anymore - I discovered my very sharp roasting fork had been put back in it's stand upside down after we were burgled - I would never put it away like that, so I know they were creeping around wielding it, while waiting to see if my young child was going to come down and bump into them . That is what freaked me out the most!

I don't lose sleep over it now. I make sure I put the alarm on downstairs at bedtime now. All windows have extra locks/security and the little cellar window he got in through has been bricked up. I have CCTV of my own now. And a fair number of heavy objects secreted under and near my bed. Not much else I can do and I have to try not to worry about things I can't change.

Sorry wilfwalking I always thought they would come upstairs but that's good to know they usually leave empty handed instead.

Roomba that must have been awful especially for your little boy I was glad my lo is too young to have any idea what had happened. I'm sure it will just take time to stop loosing so much sleep over it. We go away for a few days shortly so hopefully that will help too.

Thanks bakingdemon that's good to know they haven't had problems since.

Ignore @wilfwalking !! If you have a decent enough car some of the gangs WILL wake you up and threaten you for the keys. You're best having them close to the door but not in visible sight. I leave mine in a drawer in a console near the front door; not in plain sight for the opportunistic thief but also easy enough to find for a proper burglar without putting risk to me or my family. It's only a bloody car, that's what insurance is for.