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Would this storyline interest you?
12

Enchilada81 · 12/02/2010 07:33

Ive been writing a story for the past few weeks but the computer went and knacked up and I lost it all

I was gutted and am reluctant to start again.

Just interested if others think the story could actually go anywhere.

Basically it's about a single mum of 3 kids desperate to make their lives better. But she often makes the wrong decisions and has a few messed up priorities.

Her main goal is to find a man as she believes living in a two parent family will solve all their issues and create a better home for the kids. She focusses 100% on this as a result and has a string of disastrous relationships.

All the while, she loses concentration on the kids and doesn't see cracks beginning to appear. She thinks they're fine and growing up well.

But part of the story will be told through her 15 year old daughters eyes and I'm hoping to give the reader a contrast of what the mother THINKS is going on with her daughter and what is truely going on.

For instance, the mother may think that the daughter is staying with a friend overnight revising for science (and her story will reflect this) whereas the reader will know from the girl's story that she's really gone out nightclubbing etc... (just an example).

Would this interest you?

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cornsilk · 12/02/2010 07:59

maybe - if I liked the character of the mum.

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Enchilada81 · 13/02/2010 11:17

She's not a bad person and she genuinly believes she's doing the right thing for her kids. She just makes a lot of silly decisions but she does realise half way through that she's been getting it all wrong.

It is kind of a story about a relationship breakdown (and then rebuild) between mother and teenager.

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cornsilk · 13/02/2010 11:26

Yes I think that would be an intersting read.

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loopylou2 · 20/02/2010 16:32

I'd read that. Don't give up Enchilada! I know it's frustrating but this could be a blessing in disguise. All the scenes you can remember from your lost version are obviously strong enough to make it through and keep hold of. Keep writing the rest- you'll get there in the end, even if it's a sentence a day for the next 30 years good luck

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ninah · 27/03/2010 09:49

i like this, how's it going?

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SethStarkaddersMum · 30/03/2010 08:36

I think it sounds really interesting and I don't know of anything else that covers that sort of ground.
If you did the two viewpoint thing elegantly that could add a lovely layer of humour to what might be quite a grim/sad story.

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LoveMyGirls · 08/04/2010 22:17

Yes I would read it

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nighbynight · 08/04/2010 22:33

Yes, with that plotline I would pick the book up and read the first page, or maybe flip through and try a bit somewhere in the middle, and as long as it didnt have
(a) a description of any scene with mist swirling around or
(b) some totally ordinary thing like a bee flying across a window, which the heroine interprets as having huge significance on the first page of the book

then Id probably buy it.

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Nemain · 08/04/2010 22:38

What an ARSE for you that you lost it all... I really feel for you

From your summary, it sounds like the kind of book that I would read.

Persevere with it, get it going again and then tell us your RL name so we can go buy it!

Also, GET AN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE!!!

Yes, I shouted that. I meant to. I have lost too many things to contemplate. Get an external hard drive. You can get a more than adequate one for £30-£50. I just bought a Terrabyte HD for £65. Make sure that you back it up every couple of days. At least then, God forbid, should it happen again, you only have a bit to catch up on and not the whole novel.

Good luck with it!

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atswimtwolengths · 17/07/2010 19:45

First of all you have to think who's going to read this book - are you aiming it at 15 year old girls or at their mums? Frankly, as an adult, I don't want to read a book which is aimed at 15 year olds.

Secondly, is it a comedy? It sounded like it would be at first, but then you indicated it would be darker than that, with perhaps the children in the family feeling vulnerable. It's hard to mix fear and humour, so figure out which you're going for.

Thirdly, what's the story arc? What happens to make the story begin, what's its climax and what's its resolution?

Lastly, you say that the mother isn't concentrating on the kids and then you say she thinks they are okay. If she thinks they are okay, then surely she is focusing on them? Neglected children have parents who aren't considering them at all. Are the kids covering up any problems to protect their mum?

Hope to hear more!

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CreamLegbar · 02/08/2010 10:46

Yes, I think this has promise.

The mother's motivation is right, if not the method. At least she isn't just turning into a Mrs Bennet type. Could you have a parallel family (family of friend of the daughter?) to contrast what another single mother in the same situation might do? (work as a TA, or dinnerlady or in a supermarket in order to spend as much time as possible with the kids?)

Do we know what happens in the end? Does she find Mr Right?
Perhaps the children turn out to thrive as they have to become independent (again, the daughter could have another friend who is ferried everywhere and 'helicoptered')?

Have you read, 'About A Boy'? The main character wants a girlfriend, hears that single mothers are desperate, so he joins a single parent group, pretending that he has a child. He realises that his babemagnet car is too clean so he buys a car seat and pours ribena and crisps on it. That made me laugh out loud. There would be lots of scope for comedy on those lines.

How is she going to look for the man?

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CreamLegbar · 02/08/2010 10:49

She could train as a cordon bleu cook (or teach herself to cook from books, etc and claim to be one, and still be a good one).

Does he need to be rich, or just safe and secure and good stepdad material?

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