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Creative writing

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Mothers who write - how do you do it?

11 replies

KHS · 28/03/2009 19:27

I have always wanted to be an author but became a journo instead because it seemed like a more sensible career option. Trouble is, I hated it. After trying to make a go of it for about a decade while being very unhappy in my various jobs and bored stiff as a freelancer, I finally gave it up to spend more time with the kids. Which I love.

BUT - I'm lucky enough to have some spare time every day, which I could be spending sitting down to write out the novel I have been plotting out in great detail for some time now and am constantly thinking about. I feel like it's a book with real potential and it's fantastic to have a fully functional brain again after what seems like a long hibernation on planet mummy. I'm excited about trying, finally, to see if I can be a real writer. However, I just can't seem to get around to actually doing it. Like a robot on autopilot I seem to spend all my time cleaning, cooking, going to the gym, and skulking around on MN and boring old ebay instead of writing my great epos!

Fear of failure? Probably. I also think it's a combination of lack of discipline when it comes to writing, lack of confidence in my writing, and general laziness because it is so bloody difficult to write well and there is so much work involved. Get over yourself, I hear you say - but it just isn't that simple.

So - I'd like to know from any writer mothers out there: How did and do you motivate yourself to start writing and keep it up? How do you go about setting aside time and space to write, i.e. how often and for how long? Did you finish your project/get published? Etc, etc.

A few motivational stories in the shape of a great big (yet gentle & friendly?) kick up the proverbial would be very much appreciated...

OP posts:
BlaDeBla · 28/03/2009 19:40

I'm only at the beginning, and although I really enjoy writing and it gets me thinking properly, it's hard work. It's also tough getting stuck and churning out crap. I think sometimes it's good just to get on with it, allow yourself to write rubbish if that's what's happening, and keep practicing.

I too spend far too much time dithering and not doing anything constructive. It's very hard in the house getting any time to concentrate.

I find that if I have something to do, I really shout at anyone who interferes with my concentration!

RosemaryBingle · 29/03/2009 22:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

solidgoldbrass · 29/03/2009 22:29

Hey every writer has spells of doing anything but the writing that has to be done (Oo, I'll just tidy my desk/have another cup of tea/give myself a manicure/check in quickly to MN...)
Iwork when DS is in bed, mostly. I did find the last thing that really got me moving was when I was working as a canvasser last autumn, with all the walking about alone which was time I couldn't read or gossip or anything, my mind went roaming off and oh whoopee a book popped out. Tis nearly done now and will be dispatched to its destination in a couple of weeks hopefully.

Servalan · 29/03/2009 22:44

I've only just started writing again after many years. I too have problems finding time. However, 2 things help motivate me at the moment:

(1) I have joined a writer's group which I go to a couple of evenings a month. It helps to focus me but in a non-pressurised way, and it is inspiring to be around other writers.

(2) I try to do "morning pages" from the Artists Way as much as possible - I don't know if you've read the Artist's Way? Basically it is 3 pages writing longhand stream of consciousness, ideally 1st thing in the morning. You are not supposed to critique these or even read them until a long time after. It just gets you writing and kind of clears the crap out of your brain and helps order things.

If anyone comes up with ideas of how to find time to write when toddler wrangling all day and knackered in the evening, suggestions would be gladly received btw

Servalan · 29/03/2009 22:50

The Artists Way has more in it than the Morning Pages btw - just that's the only bit of it that I ever get time to do . This is what I'm talking about in case you're wondering what I'm on about: artist's way

KayHarkerIsPlayingWithMitchell · 30/03/2009 19:30

I made a decision a couple of weeks ago to just say sod it, and start writing, whatever the distraction - to just make it a priority. And lo, I appear to have punched a space in the 24 hour clock and added the time I need to write.

The house is clean, at least, if not tidy, and the children are loved, cared for and being educated, and I'm actually creating which feels amazing. I really feel like I'm actually human again, which means I'm a much nicer person to be around.

I'm not the kind of mother my Dh wanted me to be, neccessarily, but that's the way the cookie crumbles.

mrswrite · 02/04/2009 12:09

Hello my problem is not motivation but time, I usually write in the evenings as very rare I have any time to myself in the daytime but feel guilty not spending time with DH, he is very supportive but still it must be a little annoying but I make myself write every day. I too suffered with creating distractions making tea etc for about six months, am not sure what made me start to write again I think it was a case of not wanting to look back and think what if... so am near the end of my first draft now and hope I don't get cold feet again.

Merrylegs · 02/04/2009 12:25

I think the only answer is - just do it!

But if it helps, set yourself a target or a deadline.

You could start out small - say write 500 words a day and no more. Then stop. Even if you are burning to go on. (Finish your sentence though!) That way, the next day you will be eager to get started again.

Then you could increase the word count.

Then a chapter a day.

Jut write. Edit at the end.

Or you need to set a deadline. You say you were a freelancer? Do you have someone you could send your work too - (an old colleague or sympathetic friend) - not necessarily for feedback, but just tell them "I am going to send you three chapters by May the 1st." That is your deadline and you have to stick to it.

Writing begats writing - the more you write, the more you will want to.

Oh - and block mumsnet. Tis a procrastinator's crack habit...

nezelette · 08/04/2009 10:44

I write on the tube, in a notebook, 30 min X 2 every day, that's about one page a day, 5 a week etc. I know that time is for writing and I don't allow myself to do anything else: no newspapers, no book, no sleeping etc.
At the weekend or in the evenings, when I have a bit of time, I type up what I've written.
I also take my notebook with me everywhere, so I can write (or at the very least start reading and editing) whenever I have a few minutes (in waiting rooms etc.)
Having a very specific time to write helps a lot. I agree that writing rubbish shouldn't be an excuse not to write. Sometimes you re-read and realise it's actually quite good, you were just in a bad mood when you read it the first time, or you find a great sentence / idea in the midst of the rubbish, like a wild flower in the bin etc.

Litchick · 14/04/2009 17:22

Arriving late to this one - have been in sunnier climes - but felt I would post to give everyone some support.
I wrote my firast book when my DCs were toddlers. I was also working the day job then as a lawyer.
I wrote every week day, even for a few mins if that was all I had. I wrote in kids soft play areas, in the park, in my lunchtimes etc.
I too joined a writing group which gave me hige confidence as everyone liked my work and thouhgt I was on to something.
I kept going and going until the book was finished.
Eventually I sent it out to a couple of agents and they liked it too. I contracted with one and got a publishing deal.
Since then I have had a book a year published. My fourth mss is currently with my editor for her comments.
It can definitely be done.
I am no wonder woman, I just love being a writer.
I hope that helps.

stroppyknickers · 14/04/2009 17:28

I find that if I get the 4 kids occupied - tv, game, fed, watered etc then I get an hour to start writing. It's not ideal, but it helps - I'm 8 chapters into my children's book, and I am thrilled with it. I found that having a story I really needed to tell works, rather than trying to write and waiting for inspiration. I want to get back to it - am aiming to finish soon. Love these threads - great to be with others in the whole thing.

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