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Am I a mad woman?

21 replies

Foxytights · 01/04/2026 15:59

I’ve finished the first draft of a novel - which has taken me about two years - it’s about twice the length of the average novel and full of inconsistencies, red herrings, characters I now plan to cut out etc etc. Basically, it’s a mess.
I know what I need to do to sort out the storyline (pretty much) but it is a HUGE task.
Also, the writing style towards the end (maybe the last third of the book) is much better than the writing style at the beginning of the book, in my opinion. So, now I am rewriting it from the beginning - it doesn’t feel like I’m editing what’s there, I’m literally writing something else. I’m hoping that as I move further through the book I will find that I’m able to use more of my original writing.
I didn’t divide the book into chapters - I couldn’t figure out how to do that - so I just kind of splurged it out. Slowly. The “new” beginning is falling naturally into chapters though so I’m making progress of a sort but this is definitely more by luck than judgement. Sometimes I think what I’ve written is awful and other times I’m convinced that my writing is brilliant.
I love writing this book, I care about my story immensely and I really do want to get it finished, but a part of me is scared that it’s actually a pile of poo.
Needless to say, I have no idea where in a bookshop it would sit - historical, literary fiction maybe? I have no idea which agents I could approach with it, no synopsis etc. I guess I’m not quite at that stage yet!
Does anyone relate to any of this? Or am I just a mad woman?

OP posts:
FlapperFlamingo · 01/04/2026 16:24

You don't sound mad at all! I haven't never attempted to write a novel but have done a lot of academic writing. Sometimes it just comes out - but then you have to go back and re-organise it, kill the contradictions, correct the figures, all sorts of things: until you have something resembling a printable/publishable work. I say don't be disheartened and keep going! Well done for sticking with it for 2 years and loving it.

Foxytights · 01/04/2026 16:32

FlapperFlamingo · 01/04/2026 16:24

You don't sound mad at all! I haven't never attempted to write a novel but have done a lot of academic writing. Sometimes it just comes out - but then you have to go back and re-organise it, kill the contradictions, correct the figures, all sorts of things: until you have something resembling a printable/publishable work. I say don't be disheartened and keep going! Well done for sticking with it for 2 years and loving it.

Thank you! I think I needed to hear that today!

OP posts:
begonefoulclutter · 01/04/2026 16:42

Write some more and turn it into a trilogy?

Beachtastic · 01/04/2026 16:47

Congratulations on finishing the first draft, and also for recognising it as that! I was so excited after finishing mine that I was sure the whole world was waiting for it with eager anticipation. But that's when the work really begins!

One thing I'd recommend is getting some editorial feedback via Reedsy.com once you're satisfied you've done what you can with it.

PlutarchHeavensbee · 01/04/2026 17:25

I’ve written and published 9 full length novels, three psychological thrillers and a six book romance series. I could batter out the first draft in two weeks sometimes, but the editing and proofreading took many months. My advice would be to find a beta reader. Even if you’ve been through a manuscript a hundred times and think its word perfect - it won’t be. When you read something over and over again, your brain stops seeing grammatical and spelling errors and you need a fresh pair of critical eyes to spot them. I’ve got a wonderful beta reader who is blunt and gets her red pen out when I’m writing shite but I wouldn’t have got to where I am without her. My psych thrillers in particular have done better than I ever dreamed of and although I’m far from Colleen Hoover I’m very proud of what I’ve achieved. Good luck to you.

Foxytights · 01/04/2026 19:13

Beachtastic · 01/04/2026 16:47

Congratulations on finishing the first draft, and also for recognising it as that! I was so excited after finishing mine that I was sure the whole world was waiting for it with eager anticipation. But that's when the work really begins!

One thing I'd recommend is getting some editorial feedback via Reedsy.com once you're satisfied you've done what you can with it.

Thank you - I will look into Reedsy.

OP posts:
Foxytights · 01/04/2026 19:16

PlutarchHeavensbee · 01/04/2026 17:25

I’ve written and published 9 full length novels, three psychological thrillers and a six book romance series. I could batter out the first draft in two weeks sometimes, but the editing and proofreading took many months. My advice would be to find a beta reader. Even if you’ve been through a manuscript a hundred times and think its word perfect - it won’t be. When you read something over and over again, your brain stops seeing grammatical and spelling errors and you need a fresh pair of critical eyes to spot them. I’ve got a wonderful beta reader who is blunt and gets her red pen out when I’m writing shite but I wouldn’t have got to where I am without her. My psych thrillers in particular have done better than I ever dreamed of and although I’m far from Colleen Hoover I’m very proud of what I’ve achieved. Good luck to you.

I’m very impressed - and a bit jealous - of your success. I definitely plan to use Beta readers, it’s just that sometimes I feel like the book will never be ready for them.

OP posts:
Foxytights · 01/04/2026 19:17

begonefoulclutter · 01/04/2026 16:42

Write some more and turn it into a trilogy?

That’s a good plan, but I think I’m going to cut it back to a more acceptable length and just leave it at one!

OP posts:
BauhausOfEliott · 01/04/2026 19:40

Not mad at all!

To be honest, your first draft sounds like exactly what a first draft is supposed to be - a great big baggy inconsistent thing that you fell in love with while you wrote it. And now you’ve got a brilliant basis for your second draft.

Think of it like making a film. A filmmaker takes a ton of footage, far more than is ever needed, and then trims and edits and does post-production and commissions a soundtrack to give it its shape and feel.

Also… you’re enjoying the process. And that alone makes it hugely worthwhile.

Foxytights · 01/04/2026 20:11

BauhausOfEliott · 01/04/2026 19:40

Not mad at all!

To be honest, your first draft sounds like exactly what a first draft is supposed to be - a great big baggy inconsistent thing that you fell in love with while you wrote it. And now you’ve got a brilliant basis for your second draft.

Think of it like making a film. A filmmaker takes a ton of footage, far more than is ever needed, and then trims and edits and does post-production and commissions a soundtrack to give it its shape and feel.

Also… you’re enjoying the process. And that alone makes it hugely worthwhile.

Thank you for this response - it has helped me to feel better! I am really enjoying writing this book, it’s by far and away the best “job” I’ve ever had, but I have very little confidence in my own abilities so I get a bit wobbly about it all sometimes.

OP posts:
GotTheCollyWobbles · 01/04/2026 21:18

I think you sound great OP, well done on your dedication!
I started a children’s novel about a year ago and fell in love with it but then started to struggle towards the end of the first draft and got disheartened. This thread has actually inspired me to get back into it again!

Foxytights · 02/04/2026 14:59

GotTheCollyWobbles · 01/04/2026 21:18

I think you sound great OP, well done on your dedication!
I started a children’s novel about a year ago and fell in love with it but then started to struggle towards the end of the first draft and got disheartened. This thread has actually inspired me to get back into it again!

Best of luck with it!

OP posts:
Nothung · 02/04/2026 23:38

What @BauhausOfEliott said. First drafts are supposed to be crap. You carve the novel out of a baggy mess. But I’d advise thinking about its genre as you revise.

Foxytights · 03/04/2026 13:26

Nothung · 02/04/2026 23:38

What @BauhausOfEliott said. First drafts are supposed to be crap. You carve the novel out of a baggy mess. But I’d advise thinking about its genre as you revise.

I will do that, thank you.
It seemed like a good idea to just write what I wanted to write - and then work out where it fitted once it was finished, but I realise that was probably naive.
It’s set in Victorian times in Suffolk and I think it’s historical, literary fiction, but I need to look into that further ie: check I know exactly what it means!
I took a walk round Waterstones earlier and the Fiction books are all just labelled Fiction with the authors arranged in alphabetical order. Oh dear!

OP posts:
Beachtastic · 03/04/2026 14:33

Re plotting, John Truby's The Anatomy of Story is worth reading - then of course you can break all the rules!

Nothung · 03/04/2026 15:05

Foxytights · 03/04/2026 13:26

I will do that, thank you.
It seemed like a good idea to just write what I wanted to write - and then work out where it fitted once it was finished, but I realise that was probably naive.
It’s set in Victorian times in Suffolk and I think it’s historical, literary fiction, but I need to look into that further ie: check I know exactly what it means!
I took a walk round Waterstones earlier and the Fiction books are all just labelled Fiction with the authors arranged in alphabetical order. Oh dear!

Well, historical fiction won’t be separately categorised in a bookshop, but you will need to know what you’re writing in order to pitch it to an agent, and for an agent to sell it to an editor. Typically your letter querying an agent would begin something like this:

Dear AgentName,
I’m seeking representation for my Victorian-set literary novel, The Memory of Silk (95,000 words).

Orphaned Sarah Meade is hired as a housemaid at the isolated Suffolk Caldwell Castle, and is gradually drawn into mysterious goings on when a visitor arrives to see the reclusive mistress of the house.

Then a more detailed plot summary, followed by comp titles eg ‘Readers of Sarah Waters’s Fingersmith or Sarah Perry’s The Essex Serpent would enjoy this etc’.

Or whatever. What kind of reader would your novel appeal to? What else would they be likely to read?

Something else to think about as you revise — just how ‘literary’ is it? Are we talking lyrical or experimental prose, a distinctive voice, or a complex structure, or character- rather than plot-driven? Will the reader keep reading because they want Sarah to marry the sexy butler or be exonerated from stealing Lady Whatsit’s emeralds, or because of your beautiful, psychologically-acute prose, or your themes of anarchists and class prejudice in the servants halls of 19thc Suffolk?

For instance, I’m reading All Her Fault by Andrea Mara at the moment. It’s purely commercial. The characters are fairly one-dimensional, the prose is workmanlike, so I’m purely reading to find out why someone’s nanny kidnapped another family’s four year old. It’s not at all literary. I will never reread it. But it’s extremely successful at what it does, which is twisty, plot-driven suspense.

As well as ‘literary’ vs ‘commercial’, there’s also ‘upmarket’ or ‘book club’ fiction, which are a hybrid. They’re useful primarily so agents you’re pitching to know what they would be representing, and so editors buying your book know what they’re being sold.

trappedbynerves · 04/04/2026 12:39

A lot of people have the idea that you can write a first draft and then go back and tidy it up a bit for your second draft. And there are writers like that, but for a lot, maybe the majority, especially for your first few books while you are learning to write a long form project, your first draft is a collection of ideas. You're telling the story to yourself - after that, you have to go back and make it good enough to be read by others. I doubt there is one word of my first draft in the draft I'm currently querying with.

If it helps, this is roughly what each draft I worked on achieved:
My first draft was the basics of getting the story out. But I also learned that I had too many pov characters and needed to drop from 5 to 3. I also learned that an ambitious, unusual, idea I had was doable - even if it was a bit on the nose in the first draft.

My second draft was structural. By dropping two pov characters, I had to figure out which chapters would go to the remaining pov characters, and which were right/wrong from those three originally. I also had an argument that happened over and over in the first draft (realistic in real life - dull in a book), so I needed to find a way to realistically seed and interrupt the conflict. Then make it bigger once it happened.

My third draft, I actually called draft 3, 4 and 5, as that draft was where I polished up each chapter and made the writing good. Not one chapter took less than two rewrites - usually I'd write it one day, then redo it the next day. With lots of going over and back on those two writes. Some chapters were insanely sticky - with a couple of them taking the best part of two weeks to get right. Usually a sign that I was making them far too convoluted and/or starting at the wrong moment. - So those chapters had 11-12 drafts. And through this section of drafting, I was still coming up with ideas

My sixth draft was intended as a polishing draft, as I thought I was in a really good state at that point. I knew my writing had improved through the book, so anticipated that the earlier chapters would need real fine tuning, but it turned out, that even with all the drafting, sections of the book, even towards the end, were unnecessarily baggy. And a few chapters, usually the ones I'd really struggled with - were too sparse and needed writing up a little. I dropped from >103k words to <95k in that draft. I also realised that flashback chapters, I had written were inserted unevenly into the main text, so I rejigged those.

Draft seven, became the polishing draft. Lots of small changes, grammar mistakes fixed, I went through all my 'its' and 'it's,' double checked that I had consistent spelling of names that can be spelled more than one way (I didn't), and any names that I'd changed between drafts.

I also realised at this point that I had an issue I nearly missed. I write really close third person, so one of the important secondary characters is only ever named in the chapters from the pov of one characters. So, for example, in the other chapters she is always 'Mum' or 'her mother,' or 'Gran' or her 'her grandmother.' It isn't until 40% of the way through the book that this character is in a scene with the third pov character, and that character thinks of her as 'Sarah Mulligan' or 'Sarah.' It's the very first time a reader would come across her name and they'd almost certainly be wondering who the fuck this Sarah woman is, and why is she in the middle of this tense family conflict. So I had to go back and find natural ways to include her name and position as Mum/Gran, which was quite difficult.

And if I get an agent, I assume I'll have to do a certain amount of re-writing. If I get a publishing deal, I assume there will be more.

All of this is to say, that it's an absolute tonne of work after draft one. Completing a full first draft is an amazing achievement. But it's a bit like completing couch to 5k. A serious achievement that puts you ahead of most people. But getting the whole novel to a really good state is like managing a full marathon.

Nothung · 04/04/2026 12:45

Good post, @trappedbynerves. I reckon I did much of what you recount (possibly more drafts, especially of the beginning, which I struggled with) to get to the point of getting an agent. I imagine (currently waiting on her notes) that there will be another significant set of revisions before it goes out to editors.

ETA I was a finalist in one of those first novel competitions years ago and part of the prize was a daylong writing workshop. I remember one older man being absolutely gobsmacked I’d written six or seven drafts of my then MS. As far as he was concerned, he’d written it in a single draft, and was just going to check for typos and it was finished, he was sending it to agents.

Foxytights · 04/04/2026 13:50

trappedbynerves · 04/04/2026 12:39

A lot of people have the idea that you can write a first draft and then go back and tidy it up a bit for your second draft. And there are writers like that, but for a lot, maybe the majority, especially for your first few books while you are learning to write a long form project, your first draft is a collection of ideas. You're telling the story to yourself - after that, you have to go back and make it good enough to be read by others. I doubt there is one word of my first draft in the draft I'm currently querying with.

If it helps, this is roughly what each draft I worked on achieved:
My first draft was the basics of getting the story out. But I also learned that I had too many pov characters and needed to drop from 5 to 3. I also learned that an ambitious, unusual, idea I had was doable - even if it was a bit on the nose in the first draft.

My second draft was structural. By dropping two pov characters, I had to figure out which chapters would go to the remaining pov characters, and which were right/wrong from those three originally. I also had an argument that happened over and over in the first draft (realistic in real life - dull in a book), so I needed to find a way to realistically seed and interrupt the conflict. Then make it bigger once it happened.

My third draft, I actually called draft 3, 4 and 5, as that draft was where I polished up each chapter and made the writing good. Not one chapter took less than two rewrites - usually I'd write it one day, then redo it the next day. With lots of going over and back on those two writes. Some chapters were insanely sticky - with a couple of them taking the best part of two weeks to get right. Usually a sign that I was making them far too convoluted and/or starting at the wrong moment. - So those chapters had 11-12 drafts. And through this section of drafting, I was still coming up with ideas

My sixth draft was intended as a polishing draft, as I thought I was in a really good state at that point. I knew my writing had improved through the book, so anticipated that the earlier chapters would need real fine tuning, but it turned out, that even with all the drafting, sections of the book, even towards the end, were unnecessarily baggy. And a few chapters, usually the ones I'd really struggled with - were too sparse and needed writing up a little. I dropped from >103k words to <95k in that draft. I also realised that flashback chapters, I had written were inserted unevenly into the main text, so I rejigged those.

Draft seven, became the polishing draft. Lots of small changes, grammar mistakes fixed, I went through all my 'its' and 'it's,' double checked that I had consistent spelling of names that can be spelled more than one way (I didn't), and any names that I'd changed between drafts.

I also realised at this point that I had an issue I nearly missed. I write really close third person, so one of the important secondary characters is only ever named in the chapters from the pov of one characters. So, for example, in the other chapters she is always 'Mum' or 'her mother,' or 'Gran' or her 'her grandmother.' It isn't until 40% of the way through the book that this character is in a scene with the third pov character, and that character thinks of her as 'Sarah Mulligan' or 'Sarah.' It's the very first time a reader would come across her name and they'd almost certainly be wondering who the fuck this Sarah woman is, and why is she in the middle of this tense family conflict. So I had to go back and find natural ways to include her name and position as Mum/Gran, which was quite difficult.

And if I get an agent, I assume I'll have to do a certain amount of re-writing. If I get a publishing deal, I assume there will be more.

All of this is to say, that it's an absolute tonne of work after draft one. Completing a full first draft is an amazing achievement. But it's a bit like completing couch to 5k. A serious achievement that puts you ahead of most people. But getting the whole novel to a really good state is like managing a full marathon.

Thank you for talking me through your experience. It’s very helpful, if not rather overwhelming!

OP posts:
Hubblebubble · 04/04/2026 14:09

Everyone has their own unique style. Sounds like youre more of a pantser than a plotter. For me, i revise as i go and plot everything out. So on the plus side, i know how every chapter is going to pan out, and everything thats down has been rewritten multiple times, but ive only got 43 thousand words out of a planned 90K done.

trappedbynerves · 04/04/2026 14:45

Foxytights · 04/04/2026 13:50

Thank you for talking me through your experience. It’s very helpful, if not rather overwhelming!

I know it absolutely sounds overwhelming, I'd probably have given up before starting if I'd thought too much about it. But once you're doing it, you're just doing it. It's like that 'how do you eat an elephant?' thing. Bit by bit. You just commit, keep chipping away at it, and then one day, it's done.

And if you keep your mind open to it, at some point during the later phases of your first book, an idea for your next one will intrude hard and keep pushing and pushing into your brain. So instead of looking at finishing your book as an endpoint, it's actually just freeing you up to start the next one, because this is just what you do now.

For me, looking at it as never really working towards finishing the work, just changing what the work will be, really helps. Obviously, I have a book finished now and I'm hoping it will manage to get published (with a mid-size six-figure advance!!!!!), but regardless, I'm back to writing because the writing habit is an achievement in itself.

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