Honest opinions - poem

[ElatedAzurePlayer]

I don’t usually write poetry. I have written a short poem that I’d value feedback on please. It feels as though it’s missing something or that I haven’t quite nailed what I was aiming to nail. TIA for the honest feedback I’m hoping for 🙏

Tamar

Muffled whispers peal,
though they think I do not hear.
Yet none dare speak up,
far less do I.
Oh, that I might wish to die.

The day is spent.
I wait,
for time to turn back its hand,
though I know it will not.
Might I have saved my life?
Oh, that he would remember me.

The colourless horizon stretches,
like the coming days,
I will surely know.
Still it rains; still the skies are grey,
as I wish I were,
that he had never
looked upon me.

Wool mockingly adorns,
clinging where love
now never will.
My skin remembers,
though my heart tries not.
Fine linen, colour, hope.
Torn and discarded,
even as I am.

Even my body knows,
this does not belong to me.
I scratch at my wrists,
where linen once brushed its lips.
Where I was held,
gripped,
tight.

Moody clouds brood,
in this darkened sconce.
He skulks — eyes black,
vacant.
He comes and goes,
though I stay.
Always, I stay.

He shouts into the bleak,
with fitful sleep.
And daybreak persists,
of which I choose no part.
Rays bleed into darkness
As silence
continues,
with her testimony.

Footnote - Poem is based on the defilement of Tamar by her half brother and the aftermath for HER which is not depicted in Scripture. It is based on a Biblical narrative of one of King David’s daughters, who disappeared from Scripture after the incident took place.

I dont know much about Poetry OP, but even I can tell this is good ....are you submitting this anywhere.....it really is quite moving....

I know very little about poetry and also think it's good, terrific imagery and quiet tone.
My only issue is scanning some of the lines, there sometimes appears to me to be too many or too few syllables so it jars a little to read.
This for example:
The day is spent.
I wait,
for time to turn back its hand,
though I know it will not.

Much better than I could ever produce though and I hope you are going to do something with it.

It's good and poignant. However, some lines don't scan well and some are unnecessary.
e.g. I scratch at my wrists,
where linen once brushed its lips.
Where I was held,
gripped,
tight.
It's clear what you mean, but some of it is muddled. Skin has no lips for linen to brush, for example.
e.g. He comes and goes,
though I stay.
Always, I stay.
The second line limps and adds nothing to the sense, would work better without 'though'.
e.g. The day is spent.
I wait,
for time to turn back its hand,
though I know it will not.
The last line is unnecessary. The point is made by 'I wait/for time to turn back its hand - we know time can't go back (from our pov, anyway)

'turn back its hand' is anachronistic to your character. No clocks with hands existed during the reign of David (don't appear till much later) - so the analogy does not really work for Tamar.

Hope this helps.

Poetry isn't my thing, but I liked it very much.