Re-start

[Aggie15]

Re-starting CW after a long hiatus, well trying to and it is hard. I have written before both non-fiction and fiction, and been published. Beside my social science pieces one of my short stories got published in a magazine, written a movie scrip that generated some interest and translated a book chapter that is a textbook at university. So have some experience with fiction, too. But after a 2-3 decades long hiatus I am struggling. I am a house wife with a disability with pain and fatigue, so do not get out much at all. Raised 3 kids to adulthood, 4th, the youngest still only 10. I would love to get back into writing but I feel basically empty and quite frankly stupid. Like all my bright ideas are gone, everything I think of is boring and my mind seems to be blank.

In my 20's I was fearless, fierce and uncompromising. I had loads of ideas. Am I just too old to write now? Has my brain turned to mush? Does anybody care what mediocre thing I have to say about anything?

I don't read that much. Or not as much as I know I should. I struggle to concentrate at times, I only read crime novels because that is the only thing I can emotionally cope with. I cannot cope with pain and suffering. I need the world to be saved by a well-drawn detective. I listen to various, very widely different things on Audible like Jane Austen, Alexei Sayle, Arthur Conan Doyle etc.

Bought Julia Cameron's book the Artist's Way but her writing style and God speak annoys me so much I could not get through it yet. I found Michel Foucault and Derrida easier reads than her.

How to start? How do you know if an idea you have is worth pursuing? If it is good enough to even bother with? I know everything has been done before, what matters is how you write it but here I falter in my belief in my ability to be able to do it in a way that is true to me. And possibly worth reading by others.

Writing prompts only generate terrible tired cliche ideas from me that just never excite me to write up and dishearten me even more. When I look at what others developed I feel ashamed just how without imagination my ideas are. Watched few courses on CW. They are of some help but until you do it you are no writer. I am not doing it.

Sorry such a moany post. I enjoyed writing before so much. Characters appeared fully formed in my head and it almost seemed I just needed to let them be and the story almost wrote itself. I remember the excitement and joy of writing. I would love to get back to that. Now my brain seems quiet, barren, free of ideas.

Anyone had similar tough starts? What helped? Are there any good beginner writing groups around? Please help.

I know it’s a naff idea but just start writing. Doesn’t matter what - just write utter gibberish if you need to till you get back in the habit. And try not to make too much of a big deal of it, like sitting down to “do writing”. I sometimes trick my brain by doing housework etc at the same time, and only stopping to jot down an idea or a sentence or two. Just my idea anyway! Good luck!

Thank you so much for replying. Not at all naff. Very sensible. All advice says just do it. Your approach is excellent, not to make a big deal out of it. Thank you.

Sure, do some writing, but I'd actually say, start with reading, reading and more reading. (Audiobooks count as reading, by the way!) Alongside any other creative activities that refuel and inspire you personally, whether that's galleries or music or whatever.

Once you've re-established a reading habit, start to write something that you feel that you'd like to read. If that's cosy crime, because that's what you've been reading, then great! Funnel that desire for a well-drawn detective to save the world, into writing one! Keep the focus on writing for you to start with. See what you get. See what other ideas it leads to. All your reading will help you to answer your questions about whether it's an idea worth pursuing.

Stage three, see if you've got a friendly writing group locally, or go to a book festival to connect with other readers and writers, and look if there's a competition you could aim for - basically engage with as many external support structures as appeal to you, to get encouragement and motivation. And most bookish people are introverts with books in common, so you'll make friends along the way.

Don't worry about whether you're too old, though. You have more to say now you've lived for longer. You just need to work out what, and how, and discover whether you enjoy producing it enough to be worth your time and effort, and at what level - a lot of people can enjoy creative writing as a hobby, but establishing and sustaining a writing career is a tough and laborious process, that takes a lot of grit.

If you decide you want to aim for a writing career then the whole time, keep reading widely, and once you've found the genre where your voice fits, absorb yourself in that genre so you can learn it inside out.