Can't believe I never realised mumsnet has a writing forum! I have an issue and i don't know whether i'm being fair or not. I've always dipped in an out of the idea of 'being a writer.' I'm always starting books, getting ideas for books, doing research, etc. I have completed a novel, a play and have multiple 'story bibles,' some really extensive, for different book ideas I've started working on before abandoning. I know I abandon them from a mixture of laziness and lack of confidence. I don't want to work so hard, for something that I'll probably get roundly rejected for. But last year, when DS went back to school, I decided to try push past that and start by taking a creative writing class to help give me some discipline. I took a three month course at the end of last year and it was great. Being forced to write, having homework assignments, listening to and critiquing each other's work, etc. It was great and for the first time since I was a teenager, I started feeling joy and satisfaction from writing. Then I wrote nothing over Christmas, so signed up for another one as soon as possible this year.
I was even more excited by this class, as my initial impression was that it was somewhat more professional and would help me grow even more as a writer. However, I'm really disappointed, as each week I find myself unable to trust the feedback as it's almost all very positive. And I know this will make me sound like an asshole, I really don't think a lot of it's warranted. I know art is subjective, people don't all like the same styles/themes/genres/etc. But that's not what I think is happening here.
Tbh, I am starting to suspect that the teacher has a system of compliment and criticise, that follows the same pattern regardless of how good each story is. It's overly positive most of the time, then with a criticism that feels a bit trite. Then all of the other people in the class are just positive with each other. I end up sitting there feeling like an utter asshole, as I had notes that feel really, really mean in comparison. (Part of our assignment is to make notes on each other's stories.) Notes that I genuinely think could be potentially helpful but I rarely give them as I end up feeling like it's not in the general spirit of the class. And I wonder then if everyone else is doing the same when it comes to my work and I'm not getting honest opinions. I'm now taking all of the positive feedback with a huge sack of salt, because everything is too positive and as a result, I come away feeling less confident in my work than I would if I was getting criticism.
In the class I attended last year, it was still had a really nice and positive vibe but the teacher was still able to point out what did and didn't work in people's stories. When a story had a great idea, it didn't quite live up to, or when a throw away line or two, was possibly the most interesting part of the story, with a suggestion that the writer try expanding on that part. By the end of the class everyone had really delved into their work and improved. I trusted that teacher to help make me better because I could see her do it with everyone else. I think it's very often easier to recognise what is working and not working in someone else's writing than our own. So when I saw the real improvement each week for everyone else, I felt confident that I was improving too. Whereas in this class, I'm not seeing growth. I'm working on a new story for class and all I can feel is 'what's even the point?' I guess, writing is always an exercise, and I'm trying to experiment with genres so I can figure out my strengths and weaknesses. But I feel like I'm just left hanging with it as I won't trust my feedback.