Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Creative writing

Whether you enjoy writing sci-fi, fantasy or fiction, join our Creative Writing forum to meet others who love to write.

Best way to improve descriptions

6 replies

petridishmystery · 05/10/2021 11:07

Hi all! So I’m trying to get back into writing, and am gearing up to do NaNoWriMo. I think I’m a decent writer but descriptions is where I fall down, as in physical descriptions. I am very much tell, I will just list what a person/building etc looks like and it’s always very clunky. Anyone have any recommendations on books/other or general tips that specifically deal with this? Have downloaded “Dazzling Description: Painting the Perfect Picture” which sounds pretty good but not started it yet.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 06/10/2021 11:42

What genre are you writing? If it's not literary fiction then describe less for the things that don't drive the plot forward or are not totemic to the genre. Otherwise try 'show not tell' though I know that's an old hack - if it's cold, don't say it's cold, have a character grab a coat.

Good luck.

petridishmystery · 06/10/2021 21:42

Yeah I’m ok with stuff like showing it’s cold, it’s more if I need to describe what a character looks like, I tend to just list their features and I think it’s quite clunky. I don’t know how to make it flow more naturally.

OP posts:
Zilla1 · 07/10/2021 11:50

I suppose I was trying to suggest was there a need to do it much. I recall no one? had said JK Rowling had missed a trick about not describing what Hermione looked like but when the Cursed Child was cast and some people complained about the casting of Hermione, readers realised she'd been described as having brown hair but with no description or even firm signals about her ethnicity, let alone the details of her appearance.

A different kettle of fish when it comes to literary fiction where descriptions of the mundane can take pages or key items to genre (the protagonists beauty in romance, guns in military thrillers and so on).

Good luck.

themental · 08/10/2021 07:15

So obviously everyone has a different process but these are the rules I try to live by when it comes to descriptions... (they'll be rambly but people are writing entire books on the subject so forgive me Grin)

Firstly, why do we describe things? Yes, we want to paint pictures and set scenes and create depth and tension and interest and all of that... but basically it's about control.

None of the things we want to do are possible without controlling the information readers are receiving.

Imo there are two types of information you can give readers from descriptions.

  1. Information that puts an image firmly in a readers head.
  2. Information that puts a sense of your POV character firmly in the readers head.

If it doesn't do either of those things - don't have it in there.

Just listing random things isn't great for a few reasons. Firstly - you must have read books where authors do this, it's boring and people will skim and we don't want people skimming (unless we deliberately want them to skim). It's actually a trick people purposefully (and sparingly) use to plant or hide information about twists etc, because if it's number four or five on a list in a paragraph, people aren't paying attention and are likely to gloss over it. But if you're not doing it with purpose and if people aren't paying attention they'll put the book down the moment their phone vibrates with a twitter notification which is the worst possible thing for your book.

I try to keep in mind we're living in the kindle unlimited tiktok age, where people watch Netflix and debate on Mumsnet at the same time. Don't give people an excuse to start skimming.

Secondly, you might be losing control of them. Not just because they're only half engaged, but because you're probably not putting the things in your head into their heads, and you can end up confusing them or jarring them when they eventually get it. Or worse, they never get it and everyone has read and pictured completely different things from you (and everyone in their book club).

So you need to be aware of when to give details and when to not bother. Describing the lobby area of a hotel the character will never return to: pointless and you risk boring people. Give them enough so you don't have heads talking in white rooms and do it for the purpose of #2 (i.e to give the reader information about the POV character). The same principle applies for the receptionist whose only purpose is to check her in - give a specific detail or two that reveals as much about the POV character as it does the receptionist.

She was adorable with her dangling seashell earrings straight from a church hall craft fair, and I didn't know wether to smile or beg her to be my Nana. I chose smile. "I have a reservation....."

That's it. I wouldn't put any more in here because I can safely assume the reader has an image and it's acceptable. If this is Ch1 they're probably getting an idea of the POV character too, and her attitudes. A different character might notice her butcher's hands. Hmmm steak. When was the last time I had a good steak? Not since before she had the baby. Not had a blowjob since then either.

(Clearly male, clearly an arsehole, clearly has a squirrel brainGrin).

But back to Adorable Maggie... where that one sentence image might not be 'acceptable' is if POV character struck up a friendship with her, and she appeared 3 more times in the book. I could safely give more details later to an extent, but I'd want to avoid mentioning in Chapter 12 that she has bright red bottle dyed hair because that's going to jar people who pictured the older lady who cooks everyone breakfast in the film Twister.

Which goes back to the part above about 'losing control' of readers. If you have something lodged inside a list, or you have generic uninteresting descriptions, you're sorta playing with fire because it's easy to jar people later. His tattoos are skulls and swallows and roses? What? I was picturing colours and koi fish?!

That doesn't mean describing every little tiny detail about everything of course, it means being mindful about where you've 'handed over control' to your readers. If the tattoos aren't important, let them be koi fish to Jane and skulls to John, and use the one or two sentences you have sprinkled in amongst action and dialogue to put the information you want to put inside the readers head.

I hope that doesn't sound like I'm talking to you as if you are personally shite Grin I totally mean the royal you. And like I said, everyone has different processes, and @Zilla1 is spot on that it all depends on genre and reader expectations.

Some other things that might help:

Grabbing some of the "writer thesaurus" type books that are available. I got The Emotional Wound Thesaurus and ended up purchasing the Urban and Rural settings ones too. Easy to search them if you have kindle on your phone. There are also ones for character expressions, and I've definitely seen genre specific ones too.

Keeping an ongoing list in the notes app on your phone of fresh or interesting descriptions in the books you read. I like to read through it for inspiration from time to time. I add a lot when I read outside my genre or authors outside my lifespan (Westerns or old Detective books are honestly kinda fab for this).

Margie Lawson's lecture notes on "Fresh Writing". I think they are about $30? Can't remember exactly but everything she does is excellent.

Hth Smile

petridishmystery · 08/10/2021 15:08

Very helpful thank you!

OP posts:
languagelover96 · 12/10/2021 12:06

Picture prompts

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread