Self sabotaging - how do you commit to finishing.

[Brokenpencilsarepointless]

Hi all.

So, I've got all the bones of the book I'm writing. I've got all the background of the world and the characters. And I've got a 3000 word chapter plan.

I'm now onto the actual writing process, but when I sit down to start, my brain just wont engage. I think I'm so afraid of failing, that I scared to properly start. I've got my prologue, and my first 3 chapters but those are just setting up the story. I'm now past inciting incident, but I'm experincing procrastination like I never have before.

I didnt think I'd be this type of writer, but this is the first sorry idea which I genuinely am proud of. I've written lots for magazines and as guest blogs writer etc, but nothing that I've ever felt was submission worthy or full book series worthy. But this idea is it, I think. Feel like I'm throwing it away with my messing about and just need a kick up the ass.

I so sympathise!!! I truly recommend listening to Magic Lessons podcasts by Elisabeth Gilbert, as she deals with this very problem!

podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9tYWdpY2xlc3NvbnMubGlic3luLmNvbS9yc3M/episode/MzM2YTJjMWNiOTc2NGUzNzE3ZjY2ZDg5YWEwMjAxM2Y?ep=14

Hope the link works?

There are so many typos in my OP. I think it reflects how much I have given up today!

Thank you for the podcast recommendation; it will help to hear someone else talking through what's going on in my head this week!

Yes, take a break! You sound tired x

Sorry am so brief - am covid vaccine brain fogged, emptying dishwasher and supervising hw :)))

Writing a novel is just really hard. Not the bits people think of - coming up with an interesting plot, compelling characters, a great ending - but just the word by word building of sentences and paragraphs and chapters. It’s an awful lot of work, it’s slow and when you’ve got your first few thousand words down and you realise that that’s not even five per cent of a full-length novel, it can be really hard to keep going.
So I think it’s worth acknowledging that, and then reminding yourself that first drafts don’t have to be any good. At all. As a smarter person than I once said, all a first draft has to do is exist. It’s in the redrafting and polishing up that the real writing happens. I think once you fully understand that, it frees you up to just plough through to the end of your book, and not worry about the quality of your writing.

It's just hard, hard work.

Sometimes you need to take a break, sometimes you need to force yourself to get on with, or as my friend told me this morning 'if you don't stop procrastinating I'll tie you to the sodding desk with no phone or Internet!'

Anyhow...I joined Writers HQ which I've found really helpful in terms of both courses and online workshops and general support.

If I have a writing day, I structure it into 45 minute 'sprints' with a 15 minute break in between and maybe 30-45 minutes for lunch. If I work 9-5 I can usually crank out 3500 to 5000 words depending on how inspired I'm feeling.

Sometimes I just need thinking time...I kind of write each chapter, or at least the beginning,in my head before getting it down on screen.

That's what's annoying me so much. I'm usually very focused. Anytime i've written before, I've done the ideas and the planning and then I just write. Once the first draft is out, I go back and sort it out etc. The process is usually fine.

I just feel very intimated this time around, because I love the story so much more than anything else I've ever come up with. And it's really blocking me.

I need to learn to step back and just see it as another story, which could turn out well or not, and get on with it.

I don't think it's bad to feel that passionate.

It took me 18 months to really get stuck into my novel that I'm currently writing, because I got back into writing via fan fic and had to wait until I'd fallen in love with my own characters more than someone else's!

I'm in a similar situation op. The first novel I wrote, I felt lots of drive to complete and really stuck with it. I'm hoping to self publish later in the year and I'm wondering if how it is going to be received is bothering me and factoring into the procrastination I am currently feeling.

I really felt like I understood what I was writing last time around because it was (partially) based on real life experiences, whilst the rest was fantasy - so a real dichotomy . This time although I have got a core question etc. it seems harder because I don't actually understand all the mechanisms involved in helping my protagonist succeed. Funnily enough, I am planning to enter therapy in due course and will focus on a couple of themes in this book...perhaps I will (eventually ) get some answers both for myself and the book.