Am I meant to find writing the first draft this depressing?

[everythingcrossed]

I finished my first book a year ago (and now have an agent - hurrah!). It took ages to write and I do remember feeling really discouraged a lot of the time so I was looking forward to starting on the second one now I had an idea about what I was doing .

But this one is even worse. With the first one, I revised as I went along so I could occasionally look back and feel some satisfaction with a section of dialogue or a description; with this one I'm trying to get a quick first draft and will then do numerous revision drafts (I've been inspired by Michaela Coel and Maggie O'Farrell's approaches) but I hate nearly everything I write and already feel really down about it. Has anyone else felt like this or is it that the book is just not going to be as good/writeable as I thought it would be?

I always say I'll write a first draft then go back and edit but...I can't do it. It's too tempting to check back over the last evenings work. Then you hate it, change it and then end up hating it more. Then I lose all hope and end up stopping. It's why I've never finished anything.

So if you can write that first draft without going back over it, you're already a better woman that I. Lol.

What I did was go chapter by chapter. Wrote the first, and then edited that and wrote the second in tandem. Then edited the second and wrote the third in tandem.

The one overall edit at the end.

I finished my first book about a decade ago, still not got a second one (for half of that kids are my excuse).
With the first book my mantra during writing was 'I can fix it later'. My first drafts are always very dialog heavy, and focused on getting to the main plot points. Then I add more background and description. If I'm finding a section impossible then it usually means I have to go back and add in some groundwork earlier on for whatever I'm trying to do.
Well done for getting an agent, it must be amazing to have someone believe in your work.

You could be me. I'm currently on book 2 (first book published last month and now have a further two books contracted) and it's so much harder than book 1! I had as much time as I wanted to faff around with it but now it's all deadlines and I've got to deliver! I've just written a rough first draft and now I'm trying to edit it so it vaguely resembles what book 1 was like when I started submitting it.

Congratulations LAM - I'm still some way from being published let alone with a three-book deal so no, I couldn't be you .

Gloomer, yes, I'm definitely overly reliant on dialogue at the moment, I might as well be writing a play. What happened to your book?

Has anyone written multiple, multiple drafts from a really unpromising first? Even the story seems to be coming out very hesitantly at the moment.

What happened to your book?

Not a lot. I have my own thread having a good moan about it here if you're curious
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/creative_writing/3984705-I-unpublished-my-book-today
I've just started rewriting the beginning, as having had so much distance from it it's now easier to see the flaws.

I always try to write my first draft to as high a standard as I possibly can, including revision along the way.

That doesn't work for everyone but I find it more satisfying than writing to a rough standard knowing it will need extensive revision afterwards.

Wondering how you peeps are getting on with second books now? I’m working on mine and could have written your post, everything crossed! So bloody hard. I’ve restarted about six times, binned about 60k, and changed from first person present to past to third and back to first again! First book took years but clearly I can’t keep being so slow and I never restarted that one like I am this. Want to try and do nanowrimo just to get the damn thing drafted but my agent just sent me some more revisions to work on and now I feel so lost with it. I know I’m in a good place really, but I really wasn’t expecting book 2 to feel so hard.

The second book seems to be the hardest thing jac. I have to deliver mine to my agent at the end of this month, she will read it and send back edits then it has to be at the publishers in January. I just keep editing and editing, trying to polish it and then polish it a bit more. My beta reader (a friend who is also an author and brutally honest) has read it and says its OK but I am panicking massively!

Well done getting it written, Louisa! That’s a fantastic achievement. Wow that really is a fast turnaround time on deadlines, did they approve a detailed outline first?
It’s great you have a good beta reader. I don’t even have one of those currently 😭 If anyone fancies swapping work for beta reads down the line (down the line for mine anyway as it’s currently a long way from written!) I would definitely be keen to reciprocate.

Hey jac I did have my synopsis agreed before I started writing it which has made it easier as I know what my editor is expecting. My agent is lovely, she will spend a week reading and doing a list of suggested edits and then I have 2 months to do those before I send it to my editor. Then undoubtedly she will have edits as well but that's how it is. But I spent 2 years writing book one and I've had 6 months to write book two. It's a very different ball game this time around!

Another one struggling with book 2. Congrats. on getting an agent, I don't have one of those and I am planning to publish book 1 at the end of Jan. Book 1 took me several years to write on a part-time basis. Some of the book was easy to write because I was writing about what I know, other parts of it, not so easy.
I've started book 2 (currently around 35,000 words) but feeling very overwhelmed with plot holes, half finished chapters etc. I think maybe I need to return to the synopsis and the very essence of what it is that I'm trying to write about. I have a particular style of writing and book 2 loosely follows on from book one (some of the characters are already in place but many are not).
I think what isn't helping, is the fact that I'm not in touch very much with the writing group I belong to. This spurred me on to get something produced. I guess I'm also waiting to see how book 1 will be received - I think I feel quite nervous about all of this (particularly as I don't have an agent who believes in my work). I have not written my book for commercial reasons really but still, it would be nice if it was read and didn't just vanish in the great pile of books on offer. Perhaps I should just keep writing anyway because writing keeps me sane (whilst also driving me insane at times). I can't even begin to imagine how it must be to write to deadlines. I used to write during a designated time slot but there is no way I could do it in 6 months.