I unpublished my book today

[GlumyGloomer]

This is a moaning thread, and there isn't really a question. I'm just looking for closure of a sort I suppose.
I spent my first 7 years as an adult drifting through the day job and dreaming of my future as a novelist. My first novel took a long time but I enjoyed it and loved my creation. When it was done I submitted it to around 7 agents. The rejections were ok, but finally I got an email back from an agent saying that the idea was interesting and that I write very well, but she wasn't confident enough in it to take it on. I emailed back thanking her for her kind words, and I never submitted again. It felt like that must have been my best shot, and I just didn't make it. I think I left it about 3 years, then eventually gave it another edit and published through KDP. Cue assorted friends and acquaintances eagerly telling me they'd bought it (put it on for 70p) but....none of them read it, that I ever heard. My parents and my best friend liked it, but that's it. Honestly it hurts me so much that some of my oldest friends are either too chicken to say they didn't like it or just can't be arsed to even give it a go. With no money to put into promotion I was buried in the listings with no real hope of anyone who didn't know me finding it. Years on I've finally just taken it down. After a long hiatus from writing I ended up writing a silly little fanfic a couple of years ago and publishing it online. It's been favourited 60 times now, with 20 odd positive reviews, the most successful thing I have ever written. Unfortunately although it was fun I really do prefer writing original stories.
I'd love to publish my novel on a similar site (I used Fanfic.net before), but honestly I'm scared of being rejected again.
I'm still writing, for my faithful core audience, although slow going with small kids. Maybe that should be enough for me? Will I ever feel at peace with my failure?

This isn't a failure! Well, only if you want it to be. If you ask any published author they've all got books filed away that didn't make it, and everyone gets rejections. Even after being published sometimes an editor doesn't like the next book. If you want to be a writer then carry on writing! Write something else, keep polishing until it's as perfect as you can make it and start submitting it to agents again, don't give up after one book.

Glumy,

Thank you for the post. There's lots of overlapping things in your post but, first of all I echo Louisa's.

This isn't failure. Failure is, in part, giving up. For every author who got their agent then publisher then successful publication each at the first attempt (if there is any), there are tens of thousands who had to push through disappointment and learn from feedback.

Secondly, you mentioned your feelings about friends and family not behaving how you'd like. That must be disappointing (and I'd bear this in mind for future relations) but I'd try and think of my book-publishing as a business, especially if you were self-publishing. You can't control how friends and family react but they aren't your book-buying public so try not to link your disappointment in them from your need to push on with writing and publishing. You're had positive feedback from your fan-fiction. Write your next original story having learned from your previous stories and good luck.

Fanfic.net has a sister site, fictionpress. But be warned, there's not a lot of traffic on there.
www.fictionpress.com/

I'm moderately successful as a fanfic writer in my fandoms (in terms of reviews/follows/favourites) but I found the move over there didn't work for me. Hardly anyone was interested.

Have a look through this thread for ideas on making self-publishing work better for you (it's geared at "pulp fiction" turn out novels regularly, but there are some ideas you could use, perhaps).
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/creative_writing/3913285-i-m-writing-publishing-and-launching-a-novel-in-7-days

A few things jump out at me:

1. leverage your success in fanfic (I have a friend who's done this). Put plugs for your original fiction at the end of your fanfic, PM all the people who reviewed/favourited/followed.

2. 70p is too cheap. Go for 2.99. That seems to be the going rate for most self-published books. Think of it this way - surely even if it's your friends and relations, they rate you at the price of a posh coffee from Costa. (There are actually graphs of sales against price - too expensive, and obviously you don't sell, but interestingly, too cheap and you don't either - people assume it must be crap if you're selling it that cheap).

3. You can do publicity cheaply. Build up mailing lists seems to be the key. So in those PMs say "I don't want to spam you, but if you are interested in seeing whether you like my original fiction, sign up for my mailing list here." (Somewhere in that long thread I linked to there's a video where a very successful self-publisher talks about just using mail lists and facebook).

Thank you for the replies, it's been a rotten day (unrelated) so it was lovely to get some support and advice.
I never intended to give up writing, but wonder if I should give up on anyone reading it. My kids are 4 and 1, and I'm writing on my phone as the only time I have is just before bed, a paragraph here and there. Eventually I suppose I'll get more free time and it might not seem so impossible.

Pick yourself up and keep going, OP. Lots of people’s first books don’t find representation or, if they do, don’t sell.

oh op, this is just the beginning- and a very typical beginning at that!
with kids that young, im guessing youre quite young, youve got all the time in the world to nail this. writing and being published is a marathon not a sprint, have you got the stamina? course ypu have! (if you still love it that is)
forget about being a novelist and focus on thenext story you want to tell. if you want to be popular/commercial, then read popular/commercial and then think up some clever hook (hooks are in at the moment)

re-frame your experiences, youve experimented, youve tried, youre going to try again.

as for friends and family, welcome to every writers world ;) honestly the writer with a family waiting impatiently for the next book is a rare soul indeed. most of us Dont have that- dh doesnt read mine, dsis does occasionally and my mates, the readers do, the non readers dont- dont let their attitude steer you in any way. its really hard to pick yourself up after a big rejection- but publishing is full of rejections- it really is par for the course.

there, thats enough pep-talking for now- get on with it!

Thank you for the continued encouragement, I do definitely want to keep writing so I will carry on and worry about publication later. I'm 36, and at the moment I feel like I will never get my life back, but I suppose I will eventually.

You stopped submitting after seven agents? That's nothing! The trick is to find the one who loves your work. It's like doing online dating, messaging seven men and then swearing off men altogether when you don't find your match.

My friends and I on here submitted to tons before finding the right one. In the meantime we wrote another book - it's easy to sit tapping your fingers waiting for a response but I am still waiting for some agents to respond after five years!

You simply have to have faith in yourself and to persevere - not just with submissions but also with writing the sort of book you're proud of.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way Glumy. I may well be in your shoes in a few months. I only sent my novel off to half a dozen agents and all have rejected it. But, part of me doesn't care. I am going down the self publishing route (I like the control I have over the process) and I love my book and I believe in it and I have lavished it with a copy edit (professional) and book cover (professional) and it is my pride and joy. I haven't written it to make money (although that would be lovely), like you I have fairly young children and I wrote it to keep my brain active whilst baby/toddler slept. I am hoping to upload it onto Amazon at the very beginning of next year. A part of me does worry about reviews but more in relation to inaccuracies.

If you love writing, keep writing is the only thing I can say. Personally, I write for myself and if others like it then that's a bonus. I'm not in it for the money. It is my hobby and I hope to meet others who enjoy the same hobby when covid eases.

Well, in an effort to download my manuscript (don't ask, found it on a memory stick eventually) I logged into the KDP website and took a look at the marketing activity. There were 10 paid units sold, a bit higher than expected but reasonable. However, there were 3 random months (not even in the same year) when apparently it was available as a free download, and registered all together 183 copies. I am deeply confused by this. I have no idea how it was free those months, or why it might have been high enough in the listings for people to actually see (when I tried to find myself by browsing I was on page 23 or something dire). I don't really believe it tbh, amazon must have got its wires crossed or something. No one ever left a review, so there is zero evidence anyone actually did download it.
I'm a bit floored by the idea that you can get zero feed back on your work, although I suppose most of the time people don't review random free books.
Last download was in 2014.
Anyway, now my heads a mess.

I'm a bit floored by the idea that you can get zero feed back on your work, although I suppose most of the time people don't review random free books.

The standard review rate for paid books is 1 in 100 readers, much less for free books since only a fraction of those who download actually get around to reading, so try not to let it get you down.

I'm not sure what your plans are next, but most authors who don't have their own ARC teams use a site called BookSprout to find reviewers. They're able to download a free copy a week or so in advance of publication in exchange for an honest review.

Thanks @themental, if I republished later I'll definitely give that a go.
Plans wise, one of my life goals is to finish 5 stories, so I'm still working (very slowly) towards that. With regards publishing though I really have no idea. When my youngest is a bit older (she's 13 months) and I've finished undoing the chaos caused by 3 moves and 2 kids in 4 years I'll decide how I feel about it all.