Writing When Sad

[QuiteSad]

Right now I am completely and utterly wrecked and ruined after an unexpected break-up. I know that time will heal and that I will be ok in the end but I am impatient and not prepared to wait for the end so I've been desperately searching for something that may soothe in the short term.

The one thing that I have found that works and really works (unlike wine which only pretend works) is writing. I have made a blog and I am recording my pain every day as if it were interesting.

Doing this has made me realise that I want to be a writer, not a professional, just a person who writes. I don't properly know why on top of that, I want people to read what I write. I do (rather selfishly) want to share my sadness but there is also something about the contact with strangers. It is comforting whilst not being oppressive like the sympathetic hugs from friends.

As time goes by I guess and hope that things will change - that I will change and that my reasons for writing will too. I do want though for this drive to stay.

Thank you for reading. I know that this doesn't belong in Creative Writing (nowhere felt quite like home) and that it was also a bit of an aimless ramble. Sorry on both counts!

Well, you’re writing, so you’re already a writer. Is your blog finding the readers you want?

I suppose the chief difference with what most people here are doing is that you’re openly writing about your own situation, not invented characters, and that your aim is chiefly therapeutic — but if, as you clearly do, you want other people to read it, presumably you’re also thinking ‘How do I make this good, so people will keep reading?’ Which we all are.

Thanks Frangible, I appreciate your reply. I have started a thread in Relationships as I am pretty sure this is more for there than here. You are right though, I am thinking about whether it's good - not in the sense that I'm considering my reader but in the sense that I am carefully trying to pick words and ways of saying that seem to fit. Mostly it is falling out like this but I am also going back and if something seems wrong or jars for whatever reason I am editing.

I guess I am hoping that this feeling persists and that I want to write not just as therapy but as something bigger than that. But then I may also be clouded by my desperation to find glimmers of potential in all of this sad. Maybe when I am ok again I will just think "Writing? Nah mate, I'd rather do a crossword".

QuiteSad, I have recently written a novel based on pregnancy/child loss and infertility - both I have encountered - a late miscarriage at 20 weeks and I can honestly say, nothing helped like writing out my feelings when my grief allowed it. I received counselling which was invaluable but nothing quite allowed my outpouring like writing does.
My novel is partially memoirish but I then invented a lot of characters and added a historical and fantasy element - it also includes snippets of dark humour. I feel there is something emotionally educational/supportive in what I have written and I am hoping others might take comfort and or relate to it. I hope to self publish my novel on Amazon later this year.
Fast forward, I am writing a similar novel but based on a different theme which again affects both men and women but I would say is a book largely for women. Just started to write it and it is a follow-on from the first book, don't know if I can pull it off but I'm just going to keep writing.
I would say, let it all pour out and then go back and edit it, if nothing else it is a hugely cathartic process. My only concern is that I cannot write without all the sadness that has taken place. But if I've only got one book in me, well then so be it, I've gone ahead and written it and it is a tribute to my late son who would have been 5 this year.
I get you with the wine thing. I feel I have developed more of an identity through writing and have made one or two friends (through local writing groups ) to boot...now just the rest of my life to sort (wry smile).