Ridiculous agency demands

[AppropriateAdult]

Prepping for a new round of submissions so I've been researching some agencies I haven't tried before. Most of the submission guidelines are very similar in tone - very encouraging, "we're always excited to read new work" etc, while stressing how few new clients they take on each year. Then I stumbled across this one: www.cdla.co.uk/fictionsubmissions

A little... unwelcoming, perhaps? My favourite bit is where they want you, in your cover letter, to answer the question "What makes you think you can write?"

They even suggest you submit in a weird and wonderful font! And they want it on paper - I can't be doing with that these days.

I would write back asking them why they think they can run a business. I wouldn’t be surprised if this wasn’t a front to tax evasion or money laundering, no legitimate agency could make a profit this way.

It's bizarre, isn't it? The whole tone of it is so incredibly hostile, like they're doing you some huge favour by allowing you to submit your work. I have to admit, when I got to the bit about the fonts I did wonder if the whole thing was a piss-take, but she seems to be a legitimate agent.

The rest seemed reasonable enough but the font thing says something’s not right. I work with text all day every day and I can assure you that a good standard serif font is where it’s at

I feel sorry for the readers she employs with the font thing. How horrible to have to read lots of daft fonts.
She has been around for ages, perhaps she's sick of unsolicited ms.

My God that's awful. I wonder is it deliberate to weed out submissions or something, otherwise just bonkers.

Love ' what makes you think you can write?' too .

I wonder if they're on Twitter, their guidelines are entertaining at least

To be fair regarding the typeface, their statement includes the rationale 'Select one that seems particularly appropriate to the period or atmosphere of your work'.

I must admit I didn't hate that as much as I expected before I read her site.

That said, I only use the same serif typeface for text and the same sans serif for titles for most things I write.

I don’t mind the font thing; if you’re going to have to print out pages and pages of your MS to post off, you might as well have fun with the font! It’s more the many ways in which she wants you to justify having the audacity to take up a pen in the first place - date you started, and number of drafts completed, and who has read it, and why you think it’s good enough to be published. Oh, and “don’t bother submitting if it’s already been rejected elsewhere” Surely the work either speaks for itself or it doesn’t?!

She’s a reputable agent pre-weeding rather than closing her list, or saying ‘no unsolicited submissions’, like the Wylie agency. I think the point is to be unwelcoming unless you’ve worked seriously on your book, had feedback, revised multiple times, etc. She’s trying to pre-filter the people who sling together something during NaNoWriMo, have a friend who never reads say ‘Brilliant, hun’ and send it to twenty agents by Christmas. Some people genuinely think ‘finishing a novel’ doesn’t involve revision other than a spellcheck. I was once at a rather expensive writing workshop with a man who was completely taken aback at the idea that you did anything other than write to the finish, check SPAG and send it off.

Though if I were considering submitting to CDLA, I’d be wondering why they hadn’t updated their website in ages, and why their ‘Recent Publications’ page has books from 2016/17 only.

I think the font hing is pretty odd, though. But I always write in Baskerville...

I agree, Appropriate, though to play devil's advocate, I can see how some of those questions that might give helpful answers and an insight about how well the author might be able to market any published work. If the work is outstanding, it might make no difference but if the agent thinks to work is attractive but not compellingly so, I could imagine the right answers might make the work look more sellable.

I wonder if this agent's statements and requests might be deliberate to produce some conditioning of the author to defer to the agent, even more than the usual publisher - agent - author power relations would do anyway.

Sounds reasonable to me!

More decent writers would get published if agents/publishers didn’t have to sift through the unprofessional drivel.

Don't have fun with the font. Industry standard is Times New Roman 12pt on double line spacing. She was the agent for ROOM, which of course was a massive success and turned into a hit movie. Still, not many recent publications but you never know, your manuscript might be the Next Big Thing.

"What makes you think you can write" is a question you could have a lot of fun with instead of messing with fonts.

Finished, polished novels only, which includes immaculate punctuation among many other points of perfection. Hm. Just bother with this one!

Oh dear. As if its not hard enough to submit already.

Note how few published novels she has on her list - the only highly successful novelist is Emma Donahue.

Is the request for a full CV normal?!

As a pp said, the website hasn't been updated in years though that could simply be that it's not a priority for them, their lists are full, they're not actively seeking new authors. (Emma Donoghue is a real workhorse, and has had novels out since The Wonder, though I suppose it's possible she switched agents since.) But that fits with the requirement for paper submissions only etc CDLA isn't actively enough on the lookout for anything new to galumph through a slushpile compiled of halfbaked stuff.